Livejournal Reunion
So I did the dreaded thing and reread my ENTIRE journal from the very beggining. It's amazing. So much of my soul was placed in this; so many things I still feel and so many memories that trigger a tear or a laugh or even a bit of anger. But I definitely wrote some very note worthy things that I am happy are on paper. Here are a few of those things with explinations and dates.
Summing up the past four years:
--2/22/2005, Yes I was am a hopeless romantic. And truth be told I believe I found Mr. Nevergonnahappen and am currently dating him. I love you Dan!
Favorite motto... timeless
Tieshia Seeker Cat-No-Whiskers Shadow Maui Um What's Your Name etc.
--06/08/2005 Met Linden for the first time. My new family!
I know
A Turtle
A Tiger
A Dragon
An Eagle
A Cat
A Bat
A Wolf
A Fox
If I've missed anyone don't hesitate to inform me. And if you should happen to think you know what I am I beg you to inform me.
As for my fun with nicknames:
Dragon (there really isn't any other suitable name)
Guardian
Goddess (or sex goddess if you will)
Red
Pixie
Angel Face
Ynnek
Sidewinder
Lou the wandering Jew
Spouse (or wench, depending on the day)
Gypsy
Zoom Zoom
Tiger
Angel of Music
Faceless
Again, If I've missed anyone do not hesitate to yell at me for it. And if you have a nickname for me let me know.
Nicknames that I have for myself:
Shadow
Black rose
Seeker
The Xeleu
If there are either any objections or agreements to these let me know.
06/16/2005 I believe this was the commune where we had about 8 people not counting the origionals living in a two bedroom/ bath. I lost my modesty in that time methinks ;)
09/04/2005 This was about a month after Steve and I hooked up. And there were two other guys trying to get my attention. After reading back I realized that I was a flirtatious whore who was completely oblivious to the interested men around me. WOW.
--10/04/2006 mmm! Naked wrestling! All modesty has been flushed.
Job: nope
Car: heh.
money: $20-
love:
Emotions:choking me. big time
That dark hole is looking pretty damn good about now. So I think I will crawl on in there (with my cell phone should anyone wish to call me) and drink some amaretto and pass out.
--02/27/2007 Me and Steve's hundreth or so breakup. Yay.
--08/16/2007 Me and Steve's final breakup.
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09/14/2007 I am now dating a Leo.
Anyway to make a long story short. I don't regret any of my entries. No real regrets for my life either. For those of you who haven't I highly suggest going through your entries and seeing the kind of person you were or are. You'll be surprised at how much and little you've changed!
That is all
Summing up the past four years:
- Oh! that I could meet an enchanted lover with eyes as deep and pure as his soul. Someone to stand with me in the rain and dance without any music. Someone to send my heart racing. Someone quiet and wild and honest and adventurous and happy. Someone who finds music in the rythmic beating of his own heart. Someone that finds me breathtaking and who takes my breath away. Someone spontaneous and flirtatious. Someone commited. Someone brave enough to tell me the truth of what he's thinking. Someone who I can have a good time with without saying a word. Someone who can cherish a kiss.
--2/22/2005, Yes I was am a hopeless romantic. And truth be told I believe I found Mr. Nevergonnahappen and am currently dating him. I love you Dan!
- People die... So love them everyday Beauty fades... so look before it's gone Love changes... but not the love you give And if you love... you'll never be alone.
Favorite motto... timeless
- I met people. I don't know how I feel about them. There is the cuddle buddy, the stalker boy, the jew, the dragon, and "the thing".
- Yup. I am depressed. It's official. and tonight I am alone. Kinda hard when you've spent most of two weeks cuddling with someone. Boy do I build relationships fast! How long have I known these people? Five months? at most? Snuggle buddy I've only known for two weeks. Not to say that I mind because I don't. I actually enjoy having someone need my body for warmth.
- God I hate being the chubby chic with big boobs!
- Desperately seaking anyone out there who wants to understand me!
- Don't get me wrong; I love being an enigma. but I need someone desperately to talk to; preferrably said cuddle buddy. Maybe he'd understand. He's going through the same emotional trauma and confusion that I am going through. though not because of the same situation. I hate people seeing me like this but I love being this way.
- nuf said will talk later.
- A silent storm erupted last night. I was expecting a storm. I think the fact that it was silent was what made it so much more powerful. And I don't feel drained. I feel filled somehow. With what I don't know. Work is turning out to be pretty fun as well. Back on the phones in the first time in seven weeks. But that's not it either. No, I don't know what it is. Maybe it's just me running hot and cold.And I have had rent stuck in my head all da-no, week.Maybe it's finally having electricity again or maybe it's coming home and not being alone in a crowd of sleeping bodies. I am alone, but I am truly alone. This feels great. Maybe it's that Hollie and I spoke for the first time in four weeks. Maybe it's that I know I'll make it. I'm excited about finally meeting Linden (if that's how you spell it) Im excited about living again. Everything feels so simple somehow. I have the urge to write. what I don't know. But I need an empty book. I'll probably stare at it a while and let the lines blur and the page become fuzzy; close it a few times and reopen it as if imagination were a website that if I refreshed the page or opened and closed it it might just magically show up. I want something; or someone? don't exactly know right now. but Im pretty sure it's something a visa mastercard cannot buy. Im also pretty sure that it came to me last night during the storm but that I forgot and lost it in the rain somewhere. It still kinda lingers at the end of my vision and everyone who knows me knows that I have no periphial vision at all. So I guess that about covers it. If I think about anything else I'll be sure to ring.
Tieshia Seeker Cat-No-Whiskers Shadow Maui Um What's Your Name etc.
--06/08/2005 Met Linden for the first time. My new family!
- So... let me get this straight:
I know
A Turtle
A Tiger
A Dragon
An Eagle
A Cat
A Bat
A Wolf
A Fox
If I've missed anyone don't hesitate to inform me. And if you should happen to think you know what I am I beg you to inform me.
As for my fun with nicknames:
Dragon (there really isn't any other suitable name)
Guardian
Goddess (or sex goddess if you will)
Red
Pixie
Angel Face
Ynnek
Sidewinder
Lou the wandering Jew
Spouse (or wench, depending on the day)
Gypsy
Zoom Zoom
Tiger
Angel of Music
Faceless
Again, If I've missed anyone do not hesitate to yell at me for it. And if you have a nickname for me let me know.
Nicknames that I have for myself:
Shadow
Black rose
Seeker
The Xeleu
If there are either any objections or agreements to these let me know.
06/16/2005 I believe this was the commune where we had about 8 people not counting the origionals living in a two bedroom/ bath. I lost my modesty in that time methinks ;)
- I managed to get money and make it to arizona. For anyone who cares out there in the wild blue yonder. I met withoutsin and had an immense time. thank you for that,dearest. I actually have pictures of me which I might post soon. my birthday is on the 11th and I start work on the 13th. I need a way to get there so Ember if you get this please contact me. I think that i am getting stuff back in order. thank you Kristy for your help. thankyou Jake for your advice. Thankyou Steve for being there. I miss you all.
09/04/2005 This was about a month after Steve and I hooked up. And there were two other guys trying to get my attention. After reading back I realized that I was a flirtatious whore who was completely oblivious to the interested men around me. WOW.
- haven't been to Ibar in some time. time to go have a little fun... Im a little sore from the wrestling match a few nights ago and there are some bruises but it makes me feel alive. ten hours of work and then the magic of shadows and strobe lights; the hammering of music in my heart and head as I lose myself to my body and forget the world. might have a few drinks too. Just dear god please let me get through the ten hours of work unscathed!
--10/04/2006 mmm! Naked wrestling! All modesty has been flushed.
- So this is where I am:
Job: nope
Car: heh.
money: $20-
love:
Emotions:choking me. big time
That dark hole is looking pretty damn good about now. So I think I will crawl on in there (with my cell phone should anyone wish to call me) and drink some amaretto and pass out.
--02/27/2007 Me and Steve's hundreth or so breakup. Yay.
- two years and seven days. I need to keep record. you all will eventually know what I'm talking about so I won't say it. It's official. And I hate it. But there's nothing left to be done really. I just hope the tears dry soon.
--08/16/2007 Me and Steve's final breakup.
- You should be dating a Leo. 23 July - 22 AugustThis mate is honest and loyal, with a sunny disposition. Though this lion has the tendency to be arrogant, sulky or smug, he/she is unrestrained in bed.
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09/14/2007 I am now dating a Leo.
Anyway to make a long story short. I don't regret any of my entries. No real regrets for my life either. For those of you who haven't I highly suggest going through your entries and seeing the kind of person you were or are. You'll be surprised at how much and little you've changed!
That is all