A Salute written by: Katie Swaim and Kimberly Sawitz
Bud Light Presents: Today we salute you Ms. I find Valentines Day a ridiculous and highly obnoxious holiday woman! You who hates the chocolates, and the short lived beautiful flowers, that are nice sentiment but will only fucking die like your probable love interest. You hate Valentines Day even when you have a Valentine. Cute Cards? A waste of fucking paper! Pink and red? Colors that only go together when blindfolded diaper assed Cupid shoots his idle arrow! Well, crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Ms. I prefer to celebrate Happy Commercialism and Therapy Day because Valentines Day just makes me want wrap you up in pick and red paper and ship you back to the candy company you came from woman, because you deserve a higher caliber of color coordination and chocolates on your pillow every night of the week!