All American Rejects - Move Along
I sit here on my computer in an empty room. All the furniture is gone, all the items are gone, all the DVDs are gone. All packaged up neatly in identical brown boxes. The house is still, no longer any people running around yelling and laughing, just silent except for the low hummming of the machine next to me. It's always like this when I move, it always feels like the next stage of who I am is somehow completed and it opens a new stage for me to be in. I've moved a total of fourteen times and everytime I lived somewhere I can remember how I've always acted differently in all the new places I've been.
Minnesota, I was the outcast, the kid everyone made fun of until I turned violent and hurt a bunch of kids. I hated a lot of people and a lot of things only because I was hurt a lot.
Florida, I was the new kid the entire time, I didn't exist until something I did caught attention. And I rarely tried gaining attention from anyone. I didn't raelly care about that world around me
Texas, I was the artsy kid who spent time drawing, writing, and creating anything that popped into my imagination. I was a loud and outspoken guy. The world was my playground and I was going to enjoy iy.
Washington, I was the jock kid always into sports. But still a quiet kid.
And then there was Michigan, 7th Grade. By this time in my life I really didn't like the world or its inhaibitants. I never raelly had any friends growing up and I didn't trust people at all. I knew a lot about the world and how people act, and expected the place to be like everywhere else. And for the first couple of weeks it was the same as all other places I lived. There were cliques, groups, and circles that I would never be in and never wanted to be in. After so many years of being lonely you grow to accept and embrace it, and I was content with being justa figure in the background, a shadow behind everything, and content with never having to deal with other people and their problems.
By that time in my life I had already been so many people, so many different experiences from the point of view from so many types of people. If you think really hard, most people have been the same type of person their entire life, acting the same way or thinking the same way for all their days. I always reinvented myself and thinking everytime I moved, for me it was a way of having a clean slate. But while everytime I moved and everytime I changed as person I kept those memories and experiences from all my different views and they always molded together to become a new stage for me.
Back to Michigan, a lot changed for me when I came here. Always being a talker and social, althrough when I tried being social with kids my own agae when I was little it never worked out, I was quiet and didn't talk to many people as once again I was the new kid in school. However each day I found myself joking with kids left and right, and for once I was starting to feel like I was starting to belong. And in 7th grade when I met Fishboy, me and him became friends immediatly. And from there I became part of the "Crew", becmoing best friends with Kyle, Radu, Mike, Matt, and Steve. And for 2 years, and becoming friends with Upton, I had a blast with them all. Hanging out everyday and doing nothing, was always fun. I found friends that I knew I could keep, that wouldnt betray me or hurt me, I could trust them with anything. Outside my circle of best friends I became friends with just about anyone I met. All my experiences had made me humble and talkative, I loved being able to speak to any type of person and befriend them, it was so easy because at one point I was always like someone. Middle school taught me more than just academics, I finally was able to learn about friendship and trust, and experience them all.
However In Michigan I also experienced something that if I could choose, I never would have wanted to. When Steve was killed by a car, I didn't know what to do or how to act out my emotions. I'd been around death before, but the dead person was always someone I didn't know or have any emotions towards. And suddenly on a summer day, a beautiful innocent summer day I saw my friend killed before my eyes. I can't remember if it was my scream or Steves, but I cant get that memory out of my head. That was the first time I felt true sadness watching him gettign rushed off in an Ambulence. The anxeity waiting to hear if he was alive and ok at Fishboy's house was killing me. Until Matt's dad told us Steve was DOA. I felt shattered. I spent so many days and years convinving myself that I could handle something like this and that I was a strong person and could handle anything thrown at me. But I couldn't help Steve. He was bleeding and dying on a side of road with me by his side and I couldn't do a damn thing to help him. I felt weak and helpless, and a feeling of sadness was over my head for months. Not for my lack of strength, but for my friend and his family. Steve died when he had such a bright future ahead of him. And to this day it still sickens me that a bright comet like him died. However, his death taught me one thing. Life is so precious and lovely. Sounds kinda cheesy coming from a guy like me, but Steve's death taught me how fragile a life is, and how much happiness and sadness a single person can bring to their world. I learned that everything in the world can be viewed as beautiful. Its so easy to concentrate on the negative darkness in things and people, but there is always a light. Always something worth holding onto and protecting. Its sad that it takes a death to teach this lesson. However, I believe, that Steve will never die as long we hold his memories close to us. Even if we were just a bunch of kids hanging around, these lessons were learned and I still loved every moment of being around my friends with Steve, Radu, Mike, Kyle, Fish, and Upton.
And into High School I started develioping into the dude who writes this post right now. People mostly describe me as the weird, funny, violent, big-calfed kid. And I like that. They dont say it in a mean way, and I can tell that for the most part, people do like me. They do enjoy being around me. And if I can put a smile on anyone's face when they think about me or something I did, then I can rest easy. Althrough not everyone is my friend, and at times I know I get on my friends nerves with my swearing and violent tendacies, I still mean well.
So that concludes tonights relfections. It's still weird to think that my house is empty with only myself in it, boxes surronding me and within them all the memories and experiences of my family. Each time I move, I change, always for the better and feel like a new piece of the puzzle that is Shane Tobin is somehow more completed. So when Im off to New Jersey and Pennsylvaniva who knows what the hell will happen? I dont. But it'll probably be fun in the end of it all. Does this entry seem emo enough? A little to much for my tastes but fuck it, whatever man. I still like Megaman and drawing through, that probably wont change.
And Godzilla? Hail the King baby, hail to the king.
Also I move in with Fish on Monday. All my stuff is there right now, but this here computer is still here at my house with my family. I also returend my DS at Costco cause it broke, which saddens me greatly. However on monday the DS LITE comes into stock at Costco. Haha. Im weird.
Minnesota, I was the outcast, the kid everyone made fun of until I turned violent and hurt a bunch of kids. I hated a lot of people and a lot of things only because I was hurt a lot.
Florida, I was the new kid the entire time, I didn't exist until something I did caught attention. And I rarely tried gaining attention from anyone. I didn't raelly care about that world around me
Texas, I was the artsy kid who spent time drawing, writing, and creating anything that popped into my imagination. I was a loud and outspoken guy. The world was my playground and I was going to enjoy iy.
Washington, I was the jock kid always into sports. But still a quiet kid.
And then there was Michigan, 7th Grade. By this time in my life I really didn't like the world or its inhaibitants. I never raelly had any friends growing up and I didn't trust people at all. I knew a lot about the world and how people act, and expected the place to be like everywhere else. And for the first couple of weeks it was the same as all other places I lived. There were cliques, groups, and circles that I would never be in and never wanted to be in. After so many years of being lonely you grow to accept and embrace it, and I was content with being justa figure in the background, a shadow behind everything, and content with never having to deal with other people and their problems.
By that time in my life I had already been so many people, so many different experiences from the point of view from so many types of people. If you think really hard, most people have been the same type of person their entire life, acting the same way or thinking the same way for all their days. I always reinvented myself and thinking everytime I moved, for me it was a way of having a clean slate. But while everytime I moved and everytime I changed as person I kept those memories and experiences from all my different views and they always molded together to become a new stage for me.
Back to Michigan, a lot changed for me when I came here. Always being a talker and social, althrough when I tried being social with kids my own agae when I was little it never worked out, I was quiet and didn't talk to many people as once again I was the new kid in school. However each day I found myself joking with kids left and right, and for once I was starting to feel like I was starting to belong. And in 7th grade when I met Fishboy, me and him became friends immediatly. And from there I became part of the "Crew", becmoing best friends with Kyle, Radu, Mike, Matt, and Steve. And for 2 years, and becoming friends with Upton, I had a blast with them all. Hanging out everyday and doing nothing, was always fun. I found friends that I knew I could keep, that wouldnt betray me or hurt me, I could trust them with anything. Outside my circle of best friends I became friends with just about anyone I met. All my experiences had made me humble and talkative, I loved being able to speak to any type of person and befriend them, it was so easy because at one point I was always like someone. Middle school taught me more than just academics, I finally was able to learn about friendship and trust, and experience them all.
However In Michigan I also experienced something that if I could choose, I never would have wanted to. When Steve was killed by a car, I didn't know what to do or how to act out my emotions. I'd been around death before, but the dead person was always someone I didn't know or have any emotions towards. And suddenly on a summer day, a beautiful innocent summer day I saw my friend killed before my eyes. I can't remember if it was my scream or Steves, but I cant get that memory out of my head. That was the first time I felt true sadness watching him gettign rushed off in an Ambulence. The anxeity waiting to hear if he was alive and ok at Fishboy's house was killing me. Until Matt's dad told us Steve was DOA. I felt shattered. I spent so many days and years convinving myself that I could handle something like this and that I was a strong person and could handle anything thrown at me. But I couldn't help Steve. He was bleeding and dying on a side of road with me by his side and I couldn't do a damn thing to help him. I felt weak and helpless, and a feeling of sadness was over my head for months. Not for my lack of strength, but for my friend and his family. Steve died when he had such a bright future ahead of him. And to this day it still sickens me that a bright comet like him died. However, his death taught me one thing. Life is so precious and lovely. Sounds kinda cheesy coming from a guy like me, but Steve's death taught me how fragile a life is, and how much happiness and sadness a single person can bring to their world. I learned that everything in the world can be viewed as beautiful. Its so easy to concentrate on the negative darkness in things and people, but there is always a light. Always something worth holding onto and protecting. Its sad that it takes a death to teach this lesson. However, I believe, that Steve will never die as long we hold his memories close to us. Even if we were just a bunch of kids hanging around, these lessons were learned and I still loved every moment of being around my friends with Steve, Radu, Mike, Kyle, Fish, and Upton.
And into High School I started develioping into the dude who writes this post right now. People mostly describe me as the weird, funny, violent, big-calfed kid. And I like that. They dont say it in a mean way, and I can tell that for the most part, people do like me. They do enjoy being around me. And if I can put a smile on anyone's face when they think about me or something I did, then I can rest easy. Althrough not everyone is my friend, and at times I know I get on my friends nerves with my swearing and violent tendacies, I still mean well.
So that concludes tonights relfections. It's still weird to think that my house is empty with only myself in it, boxes surronding me and within them all the memories and experiences of my family. Each time I move, I change, always for the better and feel like a new piece of the puzzle that is Shane Tobin is somehow more completed. So when Im off to New Jersey and Pennsylvaniva who knows what the hell will happen? I dont. But it'll probably be fun in the end of it all. Does this entry seem emo enough? A little to much for my tastes but fuck it, whatever man. I still like Megaman and drawing through, that probably wont change.
And Godzilla? Hail the King baby, hail to the king.
Also I move in with Fish on Monday. All my stuff is there right now, but this here computer is still here at my house with my family. I also returend my DS at Costco cause it broke, which saddens me greatly. However on monday the DS LITE comes into stock at Costco. Haha. Im weird.