(no subject)
October 25, 2015
I’m sitting at work on a Sunday morning with nothing to do because the phones system has not been updated to correspond with the new shift hours. We are not supposed to use work computer for personal work or games but with nothing to do I have decided to types a bit. The trouble with that is that the keyboard is a very noisy one and the sound of the key strokes can be heard across the room. I may just type a bit now and then.
I am finding It easier, with practice, to separate myself from having to say “yes”. I enjoy keeping a part of my time and energy all to myself. It makes it easier to achieve my personal goals however large or small they may be. I’ve started learning lines for a play that I hope to produce but I am not sharing that with anyone just yet. I am waiting until I know my work schedule a bit more in advance but also waiting to get past the obligation at CAT.
Perhaps it is age or perhaps it is the emergence of myself without the need to please everyone but I am allowing people to drift out of my life and making no effort to maintain that friendship. I am limited in my time and energy and I prefer to spend that time and energy with people who want to be with me and who make the effort to be with me. Some folks, I have come to recognize, drifted into my life and stuck around a bit because I was friendly or helpful. Most of these folks are energy suckers and take without giving. They think they give because they want to hang out or go spend money together but when one has no money to spend - they would prefer to move on to those who do. After all, why stay home and chat when you can go out, drink, and spend money.
Do I sound bitter? Perhaps I am. I would like to occasionally be asked to go play in an Escape Room, or go to First Fridays. Even if I can’t afford it, I would appreciate being asked. After all, sometimes I might be able to go out and play. But when I can’t it would be lovely to have someone say they would like to come over for tea and coffee.