(no subject)
I have been suffering from a bad case of fatigue lately.
Not just from lack of anything approaching good and restful sleep (although that certainly has been a factor), mind you. I've been having a hard time getting truly jazzed up about a great many things. I've been drinking completely at random and alone in the watches of the night when there's no one puttering around the house but me.
Why?
Because it seemed like a good idea at the time, even though I'm still fairly miserable when I'm drinking. That's not changed of late, no matter when or how I do it. The last time I can recall getting drunk and really enjoying myself was at my friend Owen's birthday party, and half of that was just me trying very hard to have "a good time".
I've been experiencing a definite lack of focus and joy, and I'm not sure what to do about it, or how to change it.
I'm only even updating here because it's been a couple of weeks since I have done so.
Ennui, you and I are getting entirely too familiar with each other. Let's have an estranegment, please.
Not just from lack of anything approaching good and restful sleep (although that certainly has been a factor), mind you. I've been having a hard time getting truly jazzed up about a great many things. I've been drinking completely at random and alone in the watches of the night when there's no one puttering around the house but me.
Why?
Because it seemed like a good idea at the time, even though I'm still fairly miserable when I'm drinking. That's not changed of late, no matter when or how I do it. The last time I can recall getting drunk and really enjoying myself was at my friend Owen's birthday party, and half of that was just me trying very hard to have "a good time".
I've been experiencing a definite lack of focus and joy, and I'm not sure what to do about it, or how to change it.
I'm only even updating here because it's been a couple of weeks since I have done so.
Ennui, you and I are getting entirely too familiar with each other. Let's have an estranegment, please.