"I hear you barkin' like a lil' bitch but I don't see any teeth..."
I had the most fucked up weekend in a good long while. It all started on my way home from work Friday. I was driving along trying to get over into a lane to make a turn but some dick pulled up behind me and started tailgating (for those of you who don't know what that is it's following really close). Here I am in my itty bitty Prelude and this middle-aged guy is in a mid-80's Ford pick up. Well I'm brave (and crazy enough) to slow down to 45 in a 55 MPH zone. Well this guy isn't getting the picture so I do a brake test....~evil grin~ a random and sudden braking. Well this guy is close enough that he had to lock down his breaks to keep from hitting me and I hear out of my window the sweet satisfying sound of barking tires. The guy pulls up next to me yelling and I quote." You little MOTHER FUCKER!!! Why don't you pull your punk ass over and we'll settle this!!!!" I know better than to get out of my car when someone is pissed...so I just tell him "Don't tailgate and you won't have this problem."
Well I've missed my stop thanks to this asshole, no problem I'll take the long way home. Well the jerk is ahead of me, so I'm not worried (not like he could catch me anyway), but he seems to be slowing down. Then he switches lanes to be in front of me. Meh, no problem I'm keeping my distance. Now he's doing 45 in a 55 and I swap lanes to get out from behind him...which was fine and dandy until he switches back over to be in front of me again. SHIT! He's trying to toy with me. OK let's try this again...swap lanes...get cut off. No Dice. Alright he wants to see a punk ass...I got a lil' sum'n' sum'n'. I switch lanes like I normally would do just to have him move over in front of me, downshift into third and gun it...there's no way he can out manuever me, but there is one thing he can do...try to run me off the road, which he almost succeeded...had he not chickened out and backed off to let me pass. He then proceeded to try and intimidate me by following me down every road I turned on...but apparently he was getting too far away from home and I had a full tank of gas and could take any detour I knew. Saturday (THANK GOD) was uneventful...but sunday night, monday morning...I didn't get into bed until five in the morning because the window on my door decied it was going to fuck up and the rain was coming in a few hours...so I spent a few hours, in the dark, working on my car door window taking it completely out and resetting it on the tracks.
Well... that's the jist of my weekend. Sounds like fun doesn't it.
Well I've missed my stop thanks to this asshole, no problem I'll take the long way home. Well the jerk is ahead of me, so I'm not worried (not like he could catch me anyway), but he seems to be slowing down. Then he switches lanes to be in front of me. Meh, no problem I'm keeping my distance. Now he's doing 45 in a 55 and I swap lanes to get out from behind him...which was fine and dandy until he switches back over to be in front of me again. SHIT! He's trying to toy with me. OK let's try this again...swap lanes...get cut off. No Dice. Alright he wants to see a punk ass...I got a lil' sum'n' sum'n'. I switch lanes like I normally would do just to have him move over in front of me, downshift into third and gun it...there's no way he can out manuever me, but there is one thing he can do...try to run me off the road, which he almost succeeded...had he not chickened out and backed off to let me pass. He then proceeded to try and intimidate me by following me down every road I turned on...but apparently he was getting too far away from home and I had a full tank of gas and could take any detour I knew. Saturday (THANK GOD) was uneventful...but sunday night, monday morning...I didn't get into bed until five in the morning because the window on my door decied it was going to fuck up and the rain was coming in a few hours...so I spent a few hours, in the dark, working on my car door window taking it completely out and resetting it on the tracks.
Well... that's the jist of my weekend. Sounds like fun doesn't it.