(no subject)
I wish you knew
how you make me feel so god damn usless
how you make me want to fucking leave and never come back,
it hurts to want to turn my back on my own father.
but it theres a difrence between a father and dad.
anyone can be a father.
your just my father.
money doesnt matter to me..you can purshes love..you cant show love threw THINGS...you show it threw actions..and yoru actions and yoru words...they let me know ill never be anything more then a burden to you.
...
some times i wish i was a boy...cuz i know thats what he wanted.
i think that maybe had i been aboy, that he would be able to show he cared about me. maybe we wouldnt fight so much...maybe i'de be stronger..
maybe
maybe
what if
...
how would it make you feel, would it strike a so long unused emotion to know you hurt me...hurt me enough to make fucking take it out on myself?
it wouldnt bother you though
you never even ask about the blood stains; as hard as it would be...some times i just wish you would...
maybe then you would relise there REALLY is a problem...this isnt just a problem daughter
im not just a fuck up
im just trying to stay
sain?
as if that could happen
but no matter what i do
the words crack the mask
the look i put on so
you wont see what you can do.
you'll never know how to love
espeshaly me.