I adore how you've covered so much history, and have succintly unveiled the past between them. You've made so much of this prompt! You've ... defined them.
I love Byakuya's POV and motivation, and how you play on his pride. I esp love:
'He accepted that challenge of hers. He wouldn’t have walked away, anyway, not even if the thought had crossed his mind. Because his pride wouldn’t let him.' This shows a great understanding of his character and is also applicable to reality, and how certain facets of our personalities effect us. I love the understanding in this, and how his pride is viewed with the right level of negativity - it withholds choice and forces him into a doomed to fail venture - gorgeous!
It makes me feel bad for Byakuya but also judgemental because ... *gulp* he is a bastard in many ways and you've conveyed that through his voice with undercurrents of superiority, and holier than thou sentiment, 'And where was she? Forgotten, wasted in the human world, and never to be seen here - where she rightfully belonged. It suited her..' This could so easily be canon, because motive is justified, realism is implemented and they're both IC.
There is a lot of beauty in this fiction, with the play on Yoruichi being forever beyond his grasp simply characterised by that game of tag (a lovely pointer back to their childhood). So much maturity and depth. *straight to memories*
*whisper* Where I to quote all the lines I love, I would simply be quoting this story word-for-word back to you.
Now to Death Note (keeping this brief for fear of babbling, far too long commentary)
I like the play on 'knowledge is power'
The line I like best is: 'In his own way, in his own right, he had become what he had wanted to become - someone who held all the power that was possible with his wealth of knowledge.' This fits in with his character and his never ending self improvement, kind of tragic too with the benefit of hindsight, that all his worldly knowledge cannot save him from facing overworldly powers aiding his nemesis. *sharp intake of breath* babbling once again! Good job!
♥ You're very welcome~! =) I-I feel I should write a better response than that, but you always leave me stunned with your lovely comments on what I write ♥ You do! But it's a good kind of stunned, I must admit
I adore how you've covered so much history, and have succintly unveiled the past between them. You've made so much of this prompt! You've ... defined them.
I love Byakuya's POV and motivation, and how you play on his pride. I esp love:
'He accepted that challenge of hers. He wouldn’t have walked away, anyway, not even if the thought had crossed his mind. Because his pride wouldn’t let him.' This shows a great understanding of his character and is also applicable to reality, and how certain facets of our personalities effect us. I love the understanding in this, and how his pride is viewed with the right level of negativity - it withholds choice and forces him into a doomed to fail venture - gorgeous!
It makes me feel bad for Byakuya but also judgemental because ... *gulp* he is a bastard in many ways and you've conveyed that through his voice with undercurrents of superiority, and holier than thou sentiment, 'And where was she? Forgotten, wasted in the human world, and never to be seen here - where she rightfully belonged. It suited her..' This could so easily be canon, because motive is justified, realism is implemented and they're both IC.
There is a lot of beauty in this fiction, with the play on Yoruichi being forever beyond his grasp simply characterised by that game of tag (a lovely pointer back to their childhood). So much maturity and depth. *straight to memories*
*whisper* Where I to quote all the lines I love, I would simply be quoting this story word-for-word back to you.
Now to Death Note (keeping this brief for fear of babbling, far too long commentary)
I like the play on 'knowledge is power'
The line I like best is: 'In his own way, in his own right, he had become what he had wanted to become - someone who held all the power that was possible with his wealth of knowledge.' This fits in with his character and his never ending self improvement, kind of tragic too with the benefit of hindsight, that all his worldly knowledge cannot save him from facing overworldly powers aiding his nemesis. *sharp intake of breath* babbling once again! Good job!
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