An Introverts Guide To Enjoying Cons More.
I had an idea during the middle of the night (aka the period when you're least able to actually transcribe anything) for a con panel. One that I've never seen at a con before. A panel for how introverts might be able to have a better time. What follows is an off the top of my head first draft of what such a panel would be like.
Alright, hey everybody! Thanks for coming. I think I know what some of you are thinking. "Great...here's another extrovert to tell me how I just need to relax and 'come out of my shell'". God do I hate that saying. No, I'm like you. I put the capital I in introvert. Luckily my I also goes in ISTJ and that means that through application of raw will I can basically force myself to do a lot of things, like this. I've been attending fur cons for a few years now and back at the turn of the millennia I used to go to anime cons. That's right, recovering weeb here.
I'm still learning to enjoy cons more myself but this panel will try to pass on some of things I've found make a real difference for an introvert like myself. Many things I'm going to talk about here deal with overcoming our nature. Let's face it, if we were following our nature we wouldn't even be here today. We'd be at home, watching people tweet about the con and later regretting not going. We see that mass of noise and people outside and our first instinct is to duck into one of these side rooms or go back to the hotel room. Trust me, I understand. A great way to overcome that is to have a plan. Before you even come get a general idea in your head about some of the things you'd like to do at the con. In the weeks leading up to it most cons will put a tentative schedule on their websites. Look it over, see what peeks your curiosity. One of the highlights I'd suggest are opening ceremonies. It can really set the tone for the weekend to come and get you in that con mindset. Another is fursuit games. They're fun and you can just sit back and watch the craziness.
Now when an athelete is getting ready for an event do they just walk in and start competing? No, they stretch out and warm up first. Do that but mentally. If you've got some uptempo, positive music you like listen to it. Get yourself psyched up for the weekend! It's con time, it's fun time, this is gonna be great! We don't need to practice being tense and on guard. Man doesn't THAT just come naturally? Like I said before a large part of a positive con experience is going to be going against our nature. So if you come in here looking forward to things and having that anticipation instead of that omnipresent pressure you're already ahead of the game.
Now comes a reality you're not really gonna like to hear. A con is a lot like an IRA account. You're not going to get anything out of it if you don't put something into it. Those things are experiences. So something I'd really encourage you to do over a con is just go see things. Go see the dealers den, go see the art show, just walk around and see the people and suits wandering the con. You're bound to see people working in places like the dealers den and artists alley whose stuff you recognize online. Stop, say hi, tell em you like their stuff. Even if you can't buy something its something good for you and them. Be sure not to just hover though, they're working and need to make up the costs of the table and attending. But trust me when I say you'll remember those little interactions. Find some panels that sound like they might be even a bit interesting and check em out for a bit. You can always sit in back and leave whenever.
Am I saying you constantly need to be out there? Hell no! I go back to my room multiple times a day. Sometimes to rest my feet, sometimes just to get some quiet. Blessed quite. This is a taxing environment and you'll need those little recharges. Don't turn on the tv or lay down though. Just go to the room, sit down for bit, maybe get on your phone but after about 30 minutes max be sure to get back out there. It's way too easy to fall back into our nature and before you know it the day is gone and you've missed everything.
If you don't have a badge, try to get one before the next con and have it somewhere people can see it. This is about the only fandom out there where you meet people by looking at their midsection. This thing is the first way you can say hi to other people without having to say a word.
As the weekend goes on even the extroverts will start to feel the drain and that goes double for us. So as it does, shoot for neutral. People around us can read that introvert body language. The downcast eyes, slumped shoulders, frowns, all the things that are expressing that little voice inside us saying "Don't touch me". They'll listen...and the con will just flow around you and you'll fade into the background...and later when you're at home you'll remember it. You'll remember how awkward it was, how little fun you had and regret going. We gotta fight against that, shoot for neutral. Even if you're not feeling it try to make your outside not reflect it and you'll be surprised how much it changes how people are around you.
Something that they don't seem to tell you and I don't know why is that some of the best con memories you'll have won't happen in the con spaces. They happen when you gather with friends outside them. While we might not have a lot of close friends period and few running around the con if you can get together with some of them it really is something. If you're an artist, try to do art jams either at a table somewhere around here or gathered in someones hotel room. Regardless your talents going to meals with others is also great.
But if it comes down to it, don't wait for others to do things. A great man once said "If you let other people determine your personal happiness you'll be miserable for the rest of your life." If you all your friends already have plans, go by yourself. Hell if I didn't go out to eat unless I had a group I'd starve to death. Look at me, I'm damn sure not starving. If there's nearby places people are walking to try them for a meal or 2. You'll get to see them interacting with the public and see things you don't see at the con. Here's where us being introverts actually gives us a little benefit. Since we weren't up all night partying, drinking, dancing, etc it means we experience this thing called "breakfast". It's a good chance to coordinate with other less outgoing friends while the extroverts are still sleeping it off. If nothing else though you'll be DOING something and that helps to keep us from falling into that self fulfilling cycle of withdrawal and depression.
Now I'll admit I do not know how to interact with fursuiters. Something I've been trying to break out of that is to trying to just say hi and wave at them. If you're anything like me hugs are REALLY taxing and something I basically reserve to people I know well and even then they're limited. But something you can try that's much less stress is high fives. You're still doing something and getting out there and you'll remember them positively.
*open floor to questions or ideas*
Alright, hey everybody! Thanks for coming. I think I know what some of you are thinking. "Great...here's another extrovert to tell me how I just need to relax and 'come out of my shell'". God do I hate that saying. No, I'm like you. I put the capital I in introvert. Luckily my I also goes in ISTJ and that means that through application of raw will I can basically force myself to do a lot of things, like this. I've been attending fur cons for a few years now and back at the turn of the millennia I used to go to anime cons. That's right, recovering weeb here.
I'm still learning to enjoy cons more myself but this panel will try to pass on some of things I've found make a real difference for an introvert like myself. Many things I'm going to talk about here deal with overcoming our nature. Let's face it, if we were following our nature we wouldn't even be here today. We'd be at home, watching people tweet about the con and later regretting not going. We see that mass of noise and people outside and our first instinct is to duck into one of these side rooms or go back to the hotel room. Trust me, I understand. A great way to overcome that is to have a plan. Before you even come get a general idea in your head about some of the things you'd like to do at the con. In the weeks leading up to it most cons will put a tentative schedule on their websites. Look it over, see what peeks your curiosity. One of the highlights I'd suggest are opening ceremonies. It can really set the tone for the weekend to come and get you in that con mindset. Another is fursuit games. They're fun and you can just sit back and watch the craziness.
Now when an athelete is getting ready for an event do they just walk in and start competing? No, they stretch out and warm up first. Do that but mentally. If you've got some uptempo, positive music you like listen to it. Get yourself psyched up for the weekend! It's con time, it's fun time, this is gonna be great! We don't need to practice being tense and on guard. Man doesn't THAT just come naturally? Like I said before a large part of a positive con experience is going to be going against our nature. So if you come in here looking forward to things and having that anticipation instead of that omnipresent pressure you're already ahead of the game.
Now comes a reality you're not really gonna like to hear. A con is a lot like an IRA account. You're not going to get anything out of it if you don't put something into it. Those things are experiences. So something I'd really encourage you to do over a con is just go see things. Go see the dealers den, go see the art show, just walk around and see the people and suits wandering the con. You're bound to see people working in places like the dealers den and artists alley whose stuff you recognize online. Stop, say hi, tell em you like their stuff. Even if you can't buy something its something good for you and them. Be sure not to just hover though, they're working and need to make up the costs of the table and attending. But trust me when I say you'll remember those little interactions. Find some panels that sound like they might be even a bit interesting and check em out for a bit. You can always sit in back and leave whenever.
Am I saying you constantly need to be out there? Hell no! I go back to my room multiple times a day. Sometimes to rest my feet, sometimes just to get some quiet. Blessed quite. This is a taxing environment and you'll need those little recharges. Don't turn on the tv or lay down though. Just go to the room, sit down for bit, maybe get on your phone but after about 30 minutes max be sure to get back out there. It's way too easy to fall back into our nature and before you know it the day is gone and you've missed everything.
If you don't have a badge, try to get one before the next con and have it somewhere people can see it. This is about the only fandom out there where you meet people by looking at their midsection. This thing is the first way you can say hi to other people without having to say a word.
As the weekend goes on even the extroverts will start to feel the drain and that goes double for us. So as it does, shoot for neutral. People around us can read that introvert body language. The downcast eyes, slumped shoulders, frowns, all the things that are expressing that little voice inside us saying "Don't touch me". They'll listen...and the con will just flow around you and you'll fade into the background...and later when you're at home you'll remember it. You'll remember how awkward it was, how little fun you had and regret going. We gotta fight against that, shoot for neutral. Even if you're not feeling it try to make your outside not reflect it and you'll be surprised how much it changes how people are around you.
Something that they don't seem to tell you and I don't know why is that some of the best con memories you'll have won't happen in the con spaces. They happen when you gather with friends outside them. While we might not have a lot of close friends period and few running around the con if you can get together with some of them it really is something. If you're an artist, try to do art jams either at a table somewhere around here or gathered in someones hotel room. Regardless your talents going to meals with others is also great.
But if it comes down to it, don't wait for others to do things. A great man once said "If you let other people determine your personal happiness you'll be miserable for the rest of your life." If you all your friends already have plans, go by yourself. Hell if I didn't go out to eat unless I had a group I'd starve to death. Look at me, I'm damn sure not starving. If there's nearby places people are walking to try them for a meal or 2. You'll get to see them interacting with the public and see things you don't see at the con. Here's where us being introverts actually gives us a little benefit. Since we weren't up all night partying, drinking, dancing, etc it means we experience this thing called "breakfast". It's a good chance to coordinate with other less outgoing friends while the extroverts are still sleeping it off. If nothing else though you'll be DOING something and that helps to keep us from falling into that self fulfilling cycle of withdrawal and depression.
Now I'll admit I do not know how to interact with fursuiters. Something I've been trying to break out of that is to trying to just say hi and wave at them. If you're anything like me hugs are REALLY taxing and something I basically reserve to people I know well and even then they're limited. But something you can try that's much less stress is high fives. You're still doing something and getting out there and you'll remember them positively.
*open floor to questions or ideas*