The 20 Funniest Moments in “The Empty Hearse” to Me

[shadowfireflame]

a.k.a Any excuse to ramble about this episode some more... :)


--SPOILER ALERT--

Now, this list may just say more about what I personally find funny, but I’ve been wanting to talk more about the glory of this episode anyway, because it was way funnier than I had anticipated, and I loved it, so here we go:

• #20-Sherlock embracing the deerstalker. Cheeky moment. The time of the death frisbee has come.


• #19-Sherlock to Mycroft: “Blud.” Yeah, I thought it was “blood” at first as well, but if you look at the subtitles, it’s “blud,” which according to urban dictionary is like a gang term to say brother or friend in the UK. I connect this to Sherlock saying, “Laterz” in Buckingham Palace, like it’s his way of affectionately mocking Mycroft for acting so high and mighty by dragging down their conversation to street talk. Very amusing.


• #18-Mary’s face when John’s proposal is interrupted. Biting her finger and everything. Oh my God, too funny. Well done, Amanda Abbington.


• #17-Sherlock’s bad French waiter impression. “Ma’am, can I suggest you look at this menu? It’s completely identical.” I like it because it’s deliberately bad. I’ve seen people complaining it’s too close to Martin Crieff’s impression, but whereas Crieff is not necessarily trying to be bad (it’s just that Crieff is not a good actor), Sherlock is a phenomenal actor trying to be bad. Sherlock’s not thought it through much. Abandoning the cake idea, he was just going to walk in and surprise John, but then he got this idea and thought it would be funny, so he throws it together at the last minute (and almost instantly regrets it once he sees John’s reaction). I think in Sherlock’s mind, he thought the reunion would go like this: he comes up to the table with an impression so camp and crappy that John is like, “Well, that can’t be right,” and looks up and sees Sherlock and is pleasantly surprised and says, like Lestrade, “Ooh, you bastard! What a silly way to come back, but so clever and funny as well! I’m so glad you’re here! Have a hug! Let’s leave this restaurant and go solve crimes immediately!” But John’s in another world, much less observant and blanker since Sherlock’s been gone, and moreover he’s extremely focused on his upcoming proposal to Mary.


• #16-John’s face after Sherlock asks for his help in the kebab shop. That look of astonished disbelief he shoots at Sherlock, then slowly turns to Mary, like, “Can you believe his nerve?!” But John’s secretly a little happy because Sherlock needs him, and John does so love to be needed. Oh my goodness, sooo funny.


• #15-“I do take it seriously! I don’t think we should wear hats.” I’ll admit it’s a lot to do with the actress’ beautiful Scottish accent, but also her disapproving facial expression when she talks about the Empty Hearse club wearing deerstalkers, then combined with the news station’s headline of “Hat Detective Alive” is just very funny to me.


• #14-“I like trains.” “...Yeees.” Sherlock being pals sharing little in-jokes with Molly was a nice touch, and it was also nice that we already knew so much about the train guy through the deductions game with Mycroft and Sherlock. The whole sequence with Molly being Sherlock’s new assistant as a “thank you” was sweet. Allow me to call your attention to the great ivyblossom’s meta post about Anderson in A Study in Pink and how the worst punishment Sherlock could come up with for him would be excluding him from helping Sherlock on his cases. Therefore, the best thank-you treat Sherlock could ever give (in his own mind) is asking Molly to help him solve crimes. Which he does.


• #13-Martin’s middle finger. I probably don’t need to explain this one. I liked the way that whole scene was cut showing what the day was like for both John and Sherlock, but none of the moments were as funny to me as that initial one.


• #12-Sherlock patting Anderson on the back. It’s just, such a study in exasperation and distaste. But Sherlock does do it, I’d like to point out. Even if this scene only takes place in Anderson’s head (which after the offhand “I’ve got lots of coats” comment I’m beginning to think was Anderson’s fantasy. Also, Sherlock knowing Anderson’s first name but not Lestrade’s? Nope. And I don’t think Sherlock would implicate Molly on camera, considering what she did to help him was definitely illegal).


• #11-Sherlock and Mycroft playing “Operation.” It should be chess. Everyone knows they would play chess. The writers clearly acknowledge they should be playing chess. The director clearly acknowledges that it should be chess. But this is a show about acknowledging expectations while gently subverting/modernizing them, so they’re playing a different board game after setting you up to think it was chess. Mycroft saying, “Oh, bugger!” when he messed up was just icing on the cake. And this scene was so sweet because of how clearly they missed each other and for the proof that Sherlock worries about Mycroft being lonely, of all things.


• #10-Mary hates the mustache, too. And of course Sherlock notices right away. Mary’s facial expression when John looks at her to see what she actually thinks and then does a double-take is priceless. And then John’s crowning moment of sarcasm: “Ah, brilliant-no, this is charming, I’ve really missed this!!” Like Sherlock and Mary are in on it together.


• #9-Sherlock’s face when he sees Molly’s fiancé, Tom. Watch Benedict’s face for, like, an acting master class during this scene after Sherlock turns away from the window. Surprise turning to shock, disgust, visibly swallowing that disgust, looking down at Tom to confirm that what he’s deduced is actually correct, looking at John for a last-minute confirmation of his deductions, and then making the decision to say nothing. When he sticks out his hand to shake Tom’s, it’s like he’s so in shock he can’t even speak. Now re-watch the scene looking at John and Mary’s preemptory reactions. Because they cotton on instantly to the situation and are just wating-eagerly, both of them!-to see what Sherlock will say.


• #8-Les Mis. Mycroft calling Sherlock to take over babysitting their parents at the show. This is especially amusing because at this point we’ve met their parents and know how “ordinary” they are. You saw how Sherlock dealt with them, visibly trying to keep his impatience in check and trying to work on his case but keeping half a mind on their trifling little problems (though it’s clear Sherlock is listening, when he reacts to Mummy saying that Parliament was closed). I imagine Mycroft must be dealing in a similar way. Their parents are beloved but also an obligation...just like everybody’s parents, if you are lucky enough to have loving parents. But my mental image of this Les Mis scene is fantastic. Mycroft calls during the song. And “Do You Hear the People Sing?” is the last triumphant song before the intermission of Les Misérables. Mycroft must be sitting in the theater, clinging desperately to the last shreds of his patience with this inanity-the people, the noise; we know how he hates these things. So while I do feel for Mycroft, the desperation in his voice and thought that Sherlock might be his savior is very funny.


• #7-John’s reaction to the “fake” bookseller. Such a hysterical inversion of ACD canon. Because in canon, of course, this is how Sherlock actually reveals himself: he shows up at John’s office dressed as a shady bookseller and then is like, “Surprise!” and John faints, and then they get on with things. And while that is funny, that lack of a longer reaction from John is unrealistic and just frankly sucks. I would have shot them had they done that in Sherlock. And of course the writers know that but still decide to play the moment for laughs, John making fun of that poor man’s accent and everything and then his horror when he realizes it’s not actually Sherlock. Best shout-out to ACD canon in this episode, in my opinion.


• #6-Sherlock shuffling his parents out as soon as John walks in. Specifically the line, “No, no, not a client, no, no, no.” Has there ever been a better, “Oh my God, Mom, get out of my room, my boyfriend’s over!” scene than that?! This is sealed by the adorable little “Promise” his parents wring out of Sherlock and how many times he checks over his shoulder to see if John is witnessing this humiliation of his parents loving him (and revealing how they knew he wasn’t dead to John, who is sensitive about these things...oops). As an aside, allow me to point you in the direction of thecutteralicia’s fabulous new headcanon about the Holmes parents living in Florida, which is where Sherlock met Mrs. Hudson. YES.


• #5-The initial Reichenbach reveal scene, in retrospect. On my first viewing, my initial reaction was, “Oh, shit, please tell me they didn’t use masks, for God’s sake, and those bunjee jump physics make no freakin’ sense.” But then the Molly/Sherlock kiss (hnnnnngh, so ridiculously well-done) and Sherlock swaggering down the hall, like “I’m back, bitches,” ohhh, that was great. And very funny that it wasn’t real.


• #4-The Serbian torturer saying “I knew it! I knew there was something going on!!” between his wife and the coffin maker before abandoning his post mid-torture session. Clever of Sherlock to first break the ice with things the torturer could verify were true. It’s absurd that Sherlock would be able to do this, but that’s what makes it so funny nonetheless.


• #3-Anderson’s breakdown ripping things off his walls. Sure, a lot of this is “Been there, done that,” *uncomfortable giggling, shifty eyes*, and it is quite sad, but then I have to admit it is also very funny. Every time I see him cackling and falling over his table makes me laugh.


• #2-The music editing in the restaurant after Sherlock says, “Does yours rub off, too?” and John lunges at him. Having the Spanish theme (“Dónde Estas, Yolanda?” by Pink Martini, which I bought pretty much instantly) suddenly cut in was so funny and great at dispersing some of the almost unbearable tension that had built up. Very similar to having “Stayin’ Alive” cut the tension in “A Scandal in Belgravia.”


• #1-Sherlock and Moriarty on the roof. Not necessarily the whole scene-the almost-kiss was just hot, and I actually find seeing Moriarty genuinely happy to be very sweet-but that dummy, omg. The totally shitty way it’s all done, a terrible puppet with a computer printout face. Watch Moriarty’s serious face nodding along while Sherlock’s talking on the phone; that’s what makes this scene so hysterical to me. But the absolute best part is comparing the actual actions Sherlock takes when he says, “Goodbye, John” on the roof to what he does in this fake scene. In the real scene, Sherlock says, “Goodbye, John,” and then stares down at John for a while and gives a little nod finally, as if sadly sealing his decision. In this fake scene, though, he says, “Goodbye, John,” immediately jabs at the button to end the call, and then flings the rope away. And then Moriarty’s little “Ooh!” when they hear how upset John is, like, “Aww, the little pets are so adorable, aren’t they?! Thank God we have each other.”

So were there any moments I missed? Feel free to make fun of my sick sense of humor...

ADDENDUM: Oh my God, you guys have been letting me forget two other awesomely funny Sherlock rapid-fire moments:

• “So I’m going to need maps: lots of maps, older maps, all the maps!”

and

• “Weight loss, hair dye, botox, affair...lawyer! Next!”

By the way, IS IT SUNDAY YET?!