This is probably the only place I can post this
Where no one will get on my case and make me feel worse
I have basically failed (at trying, not my courses) this semester.
I don't know if I can do this. At least last year I got things done.
I can't concentrate anymore. Something is wrong in my brain or something.
I have no motivation and am extremely easily distracted.
It's hilarious because I've been told that I seem happier lately, that I smile more and have more confidence.
While that may be true... I think I have just become an excellent actor.
I feel like I really need to just have a good long cry, I keep having short bursts that are not nearly long enough or satisfying enough.
As I type this I should be studying for an exam tomorrow that I will most likely be failing.
I already know there is no point because I will probably fail the course.
Out of the 4 assignments we were given I only completed two and one was 8 days late.
Pretty much all of my papers have been late this year.
Something is not right with me right now.
I think I may have seasonal effectiveness disorder, or I just can't handle stress, so I don't try so if I fail it's my fault and I don't have to face the crushing defeat if I do try and fail any way.
It's just so hard trying to tell myself it's okay if I don't do as well as Taylor and Lucas, it doesn't make me not as good as them.
I think I've been working on my confidence in life and with my personality to make up for my obvious lack of intelligence.
I've felt so lonely all semester. I have no sense of home life here, last year Taylor, Lucas and Kalei were there to make me feel grounded and give some familiarity of home. Now it's just me. I eat alone and I never see anyone really anymore.
People keep saying we need to hang out more and I really want to, but plans never seem to be made.
I really miss all the people who I was friends with but was never extremely close to.
I feel like I have made it hard to see people because of my boyfriend. I don't have enough time for him, so I give basically all my free time to him and then forget to make plans with my girl friends.
Now I'm terrified of losing him, because of how lonely I would be with out him in my life. I don't want to be dependent on him like that.
I just need this fucking week to be over already.
Just be done. Please just be over.
I have basically failed (at trying, not my courses) this semester.
I don't know if I can do this. At least last year I got things done.
I can't concentrate anymore. Something is wrong in my brain or something.
I have no motivation and am extremely easily distracted.
It's hilarious because I've been told that I seem happier lately, that I smile more and have more confidence.
While that may be true... I think I have just become an excellent actor.
I feel like I really need to just have a good long cry, I keep having short bursts that are not nearly long enough or satisfying enough.
As I type this I should be studying for an exam tomorrow that I will most likely be failing.
I already know there is no point because I will probably fail the course.
Out of the 4 assignments we were given I only completed two and one was 8 days late.
Pretty much all of my papers have been late this year.
Something is not right with me right now.
I think I may have seasonal effectiveness disorder, or I just can't handle stress, so I don't try so if I fail it's my fault and I don't have to face the crushing defeat if I do try and fail any way.
It's just so hard trying to tell myself it's okay if I don't do as well as Taylor and Lucas, it doesn't make me not as good as them.
I think I've been working on my confidence in life and with my personality to make up for my obvious lack of intelligence.
I've felt so lonely all semester. I have no sense of home life here, last year Taylor, Lucas and Kalei were there to make me feel grounded and give some familiarity of home. Now it's just me. I eat alone and I never see anyone really anymore.
People keep saying we need to hang out more and I really want to, but plans never seem to be made.
I really miss all the people who I was friends with but was never extremely close to.
I feel like I have made it hard to see people because of my boyfriend. I don't have enough time for him, so I give basically all my free time to him and then forget to make plans with my girl friends.
Now I'm terrified of losing him, because of how lonely I would be with out him in my life. I don't want to be dependent on him like that.
I just need this fucking week to be over already.
Just be done. Please just be over.