TEAM BUILDING - REVERSE THE POLARITY REMIX (R) BY IAMSHADOW AND SAM_STORYTELLER

[shadowfiction]

Title: Team Building - Reverse The Polarity Remix
Author: iamshadow and sam_storyteller
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairings: Jack/Suzie, Suzie/Owen, Jack/Ianto
Rating: R
Word Count: 5,057
Summary: Jack isn't looking for a team. Jack doesn't need a team. But Jack doesn't count on his team finding himWarnings: Prequel era. Pathos, language, sex, violence, mentioned minor character

Comments

[jaydeyn_sitari]

Ooh, I like them both! I think each format delivers a different... message? flow-through? Something, at any rate and that's really nice.

One thing that's bothering me: did Dora ever get to knit!?

:)
Jaydeyn

[shadowfiction]

Despite it being a lot of the same words, the different format does change the feel of it a lot. I like this one better, because it flows a lot smoother, and feels more like a unified story than five short ficlets, but I'm still very fond of the original.

I think that perhaps towards the end, Jack did sit with her while she knitted. Because she was mad, he didn't like to leave her alone with them, but he'd sit with her when he had the time. He would have been heartbroken when he lost her, but a lot of what Flat Holm became would have been because of the insight Jack had into the Rift victims through Dora.

[rabecka]

One of the best pre-S1 stories I've read. I love that you stay in what we know of canon, but provide so much that's your own. Jack going it alone after Alex, Dora, Suzie's sharpness and detachment, the infected alien lobsters that tie back to Owen and Katie...

I read this one before reading the original. My initial impression was that the order of the orig made more sense. I couldn't really figure out why you changed it til I reached the end, and that's when I got it. This one does finish more strongly - the last line is absolutely cringe-worthy (in a good way). Oh Jack...

[shadowfiction]

Thank you so much!

Yeah, one of the main ideas of Sam's to fix the balance was to reverse the order, which is something I would never have thought of. I was working chronologically, and flipping it all about in the middle was something I'd never considered, though I was certainly willing to give it a chance and see what it would turn out like. Sam added a bunch of smaller lines too, just to link the sections more strongly to each other.

That last line is all Sam, and I adore it. That naive optimism, so soon before the events of S1, is just beautiful. Regardless of what's going on under the surface, the team we first see in the beginning of Everything Changes is a team that works well together.

[tree00faery]

Squee! I have to run right now and don't have time to read all of it, but it looks good already. I don't think anything that you and Sam_Storyteller have both worked on could possibly be bad, anyways. ^_^ More comments when I get home and can read this properly.

[tree00faery]

Hmm. I'm honestly not sure which I like more. I really like the ending in this version, but I liked the chronological order of the first one - although I do like Ianto's section not being last. Still, I'm not sure if it would have made as much sense if I hadn't read the first version beforehand.

You write Jack's point of view very well. You captured him perfectly, especially in the beginning with Dora.

[shadowfiction]

The ending in this version is almost totally Sam; I can take virtually no credit.

Ianto's section really didn't work as well being last. It was sort of this quiet, playful scene, and after the action packed start, it felt like a weak finish. Whereas, in the middle, it works well as a 'leading up' scene.

I've had at least one person read this version before the original, and they seemed to understand it well enough. I did wonder if it would make enough sense.

Thank you! I really liked writing Jack. Everything else I've written has been Ianto-centric.

[adjovi]

It's nice, he thinks to himself, to have a team that works so well together. This leadership thing might be easier than he thought.

oh jack...poor, deluded jack. this was utterly fantastic. i loved how everyone was seen through jack's eyes, and how there were little hints of how this could all spectacularly blow up in his face--i was especially struck by suzie chiding him for owen--that was cold, even for him. awesome job.

[shadowfiction]

I'm glad you commented on the Suzie line! I was quite proud of that one. Suzie can be hard and cynical and a right bitch when she has to be, but so can Jack. I like that she'd feel obligated to call him on it, and I think that's probably one of the reasons that she got made second in command when the team expanded. Not just seniority, but the fact that she could hold her own against Jack.

[ares132006]

Here by way of Adjovi. Loved this insight into Jack's mind, and what came before the team got together as Torchwood.

Loved how you brought the team together too, using canon and your imagination.

Well done.

[shadowfiction]

Thank you! I really liked working parallel to canon. It's nice when things fall into place.