(no subject)
Man... not happy. I wish that I could just go out and have fun in a big city on my own. I'm not the sort of person who gets into things I can't handle, I don't talk to strange men. Goddamn it. I want to go to Chicago, and have fun, but I don't really have any friends who can do that with me because well, hell, I'm not exactly outgoing. I made appointments that I now have to break, and I think I'm going to vomit.
Sigh... I know Dad cares, and that's wonderful, but man... It's only 24 hours, I wanted to see the Indian District of Chicago with a friend of mine, and now I can't do that. I don't want to go up and stay at someone's house, I hate being a houseguest, I really really hate it, because even though I am greatful for the generosity, it's a real pain in the ass, because you can go out and have fun, but you can't bring the fun back to the house. It's like now, you can't have friends anymore unless you met them through college or have known them for years.
It's so frustrating to be older of soul, mind, and ready to be meeting new friends (and you can do that in college) but you can't do that when you're at home. it's a step back, and as much as I love my parents, i just... want .... DAMN IT ALL I WANTED WAS A LAYOVER IN CHICAGO.
I needa go get trashed... wait.. can't happen... no one to go with. None of my friends are here, and the two or three that are dont' have time to even call and say hi.
Fuck it. Tomarrow, I'm gonna find a buyer and get trashed on my own. abso-fucking-lutely drunk as a skunk by my self. Not healthy, but damn it I needa do SOMETHING aisde from housework and work work and sit online. Though knowing me, I'll be online while I'm drinking.
I'm worried about my friends in other places, they're having major issues.. one's dying, and I can't do a damned thing about it. He's such a great person with so much to bring to the world, and he just got married, and aaaiiiyyyy.
I'm going to visit my cousin... yay..... that will be nice, though I'm not much up to hang out and have plans botched again. it seems like whenever we make plans, they always fall through, she's tired, she's sick, her boyfriend's having a crisis, it's... bleh....
I wanna ... I'd say I wanna go home, but I'm already here. I wish a friend had time to hang out.
My head and heart feel like someone beat them with a meat tenderizer.
Sigh... I know Dad cares, and that's wonderful, but man... It's only 24 hours, I wanted to see the Indian District of Chicago with a friend of mine, and now I can't do that. I don't want to go up and stay at someone's house, I hate being a houseguest, I really really hate it, because even though I am greatful for the generosity, it's a real pain in the ass, because you can go out and have fun, but you can't bring the fun back to the house. It's like now, you can't have friends anymore unless you met them through college or have known them for years.
It's so frustrating to be older of soul, mind, and ready to be meeting new friends (and you can do that in college) but you can't do that when you're at home. it's a step back, and as much as I love my parents, i just... want .... DAMN IT ALL I WANTED WAS A LAYOVER IN CHICAGO.
I needa go get trashed... wait.. can't happen... no one to go with. None of my friends are here, and the two or three that are dont' have time to even call and say hi.
Fuck it. Tomarrow, I'm gonna find a buyer and get trashed on my own. abso-fucking-lutely drunk as a skunk by my self. Not healthy, but damn it I needa do SOMETHING aisde from housework and work work and sit online. Though knowing me, I'll be online while I'm drinking.
I'm worried about my friends in other places, they're having major issues.. one's dying, and I can't do a damned thing about it. He's such a great person with so much to bring to the world, and he just got married, and aaaiiiyyyy.
I'm going to visit my cousin... yay..... that will be nice, though I'm not much up to hang out and have plans botched again. it seems like whenever we make plans, they always fall through, she's tired, she's sick, her boyfriend's having a crisis, it's... bleh....
I wanna ... I'd say I wanna go home, but I'm already here. I wish a friend had time to hang out.
My head and heart feel like someone beat them with a meat tenderizer.