Pour Yourself Over Me 1/2
Los Angeles, June 22, 2007
Darren leaves the venue in an adrenaline-induced euphoria, and he doesn’t want to ever come down. He will though; he’ll go to his empty hotel room and crash like a motherfucker. Or like the old person he is.
But he doesn’t want to go to his hotel and crash like an old person. He wants to have fun and live in the moment like the happy person he is (except for when he’s not). He still has a job that he loves and he wants to celebrate that.
He goes to Fubar, a gay club, and twenty loud minutes later he realizes that he is a day and ten years too late. The fruity pink cocktails the bartender is serving hint at him that he could have fun if he had a few more, but he really doesn’t want to go home in a cab. Or worse, pass out in a ditch and get his picture published in a tabloid that no one even reads. He sadly puts the pink, frothy drink down and leaves before he develops a full blown headache or loses his hearing.
He ends up in a cabaret that’s not too expensive, and as soon as the waiter sets his glass down, the music starts up and a pretty black haired guy comes out to sit on a stool.
The guy starts up a banter with the audience, and Darren wonders if he should order that delicious looking dessert two tables over. He decides that he should, even though his treadmill-running-self will hate him in the morning. He doesn’t start paying attention to the stage until the guy starts singing- he’s good. Really good. Darren sits mesmerized at the guy belts out What’s Up only jolting out of his captivation when the waiter appears out of nowhere and asks him if he wants anything else.
Darren orders some more wine and turns back to the stage as the crowd applauds loudly. He joins in, hoping that the guy isn’t done with his set yet. His wish is granted as the guy stays on his stool and starts singing again, after a few minutes. Darren is probably staring a little too intensely as the guy sings three more songs, but it’s not ‘till he starts singing Come Home that Darren gets actual shivers down his back and has to look away. The song resonates a little too close to home, pun not intended.
The guy leaves the stage to a standing ovation and goes to sit with a group of excited friends who draw him into their midst, patting him on the back and offering congratulations.
Darren sits back down and contemplates for the trillionth time how lucky he’s been and how it’s a miracle that he’s still doing what he loves. The guy has enough talent to get a record deal ten times over; but as Darren watches him laugh with his friends, gesturing excitedly, he can see why it would be almost impossible for him to get signed. He’s good looking, but is obviously wearing make up and nail polish, and to Darren’s amusement, a Bowie t-shirt. If his gaydar is right, and he weirdly hopes it is, he’s out and proud. On the whole, a shark is more likely to get a record deal than this guy, especially in America, talent or not.
It makes Darren’s chest ache. If he had been anything other than a confused mess when he had first gotten famous, he wonders how differently it would have gone. Ten years can change just about everything.
Darren doesn’t realize he’s staring at the guy, which is pretty creepy now that he’s not on stage, until the guy looks right at him and cocks his head to the side. Darren takes this as the invitation it most likely isn’t (It was probably more of a “Why is this creepy guy staring at me?” look.) and gets up with his glass of wine.
Before he can think better of it, he’s walking toward the guy and his friends. Holding out his hand, he introduces himself, “Hi, I’m Darren.”
The guy looks amused, but he shakes Darren’s hand and replies, “Adam.”
Darren smiles at him and tries to think of something to say so this doesn’t turn awkward. He blurts out, “So you’re kinda amazing,” he sputters, “Singing, I mean your singing is amazing.” Darren wants to smack himself; he hasn’t sounded this stupid since Britney.
Adam just laughs and drags a chair from the next table over. “Flattery will get you everywhere.”
Darren sits down and Adam introduces him to his friends. He forgets their names a second later, as he’s too focused on Adam’s warm weight squished next to him. (Though he does notice one girl look at him funny: he doesn’t know if she recognizes him or if she just thinks he’s rude for interrupting them.)
Adam turns back to him and says, “So you were saying I was amazing? You can elaborate if you want.”
Darren laughs, and Adam joins him before demanding, “No, really, tell me about yourself. Where are you from? What’s your sign?”
Darren fidgets and laughs softly. “Um, I’m from Australia originally, but I’m currently living in London. I’m a Taurus and, uh, I like music and dogs?”
Adam raises his eyebrows. “London? That’s cool. What are you here for?”
“Work,” Darren says, and then quickly asks, “What do you do?” he waves his hand, encompassing the room, “Besides sing at cabarets.”
“I do theater. I’m an understudy in Wicked.” Adam says this with a smile, but also with a noticeable lack of enthusiasm.
“Yeah? That’s awesome. I’ve always wanted to do theater, but I just never had the time I guess.”
Darren realizes his mistake two seconds too late as Adam asks, “Oh, you sing?”
“Um, yeah, uh, I sing.” Darren probably should tell Adam the whole truth, but he doesn’t want Adam to judge him on any preconceived notions. Then again, it’s not really easy to nonchalantly mention you were once in a famous band in the middle of a conversation. At least not without looking like a tool.
When Darren doesn’t elaborate Adam laughs. “Okaaay,” Adam drawls, but he changes the subject nonetheless. They talk about general stuff: movies, books, places they have been. Adam’s obviously a people person, charming and quick-witted. Darren hasn’t met someone he clicked with so fast in ages, and he finds himself having a good time.
Darren only realizes he’s been monopolizing all of Adam’s attention, and probably flirting, by the way Adam’s friend winks at him as he says goodbye to them.
Darren looks around and sees that they’re the only ones left at the table and laughs self-consciously. “Ah, I should probably let you go.”
Adam stares at him for a second, then states, “Come home with me.”
“Okay.” He isn’t sure who’s more surprised by his answer, Adam or himself.
“Awesome,” Adam replies, grinning.
They walk out to the parking lot together and agree that Darren will follow Adam home so they don‘t have to worry about their cars. Darren drives on autopilot, not wanting to think this through even for a second, lest he come to his senses and drive back to his hotel room. Alone.
He doesn’t. He parks beside Adam and follows him to the door of his apartment. Darren glances around once they’re inside; it’s small, but nice and obviously well lived in.
Adam watches him, waiting until Darren looks at back him, “It’s small, but hey, it’s home.”
A smile spreads across his face, dear lord, the man is adorable. “I like it.”
Darren follows him to the kitchen and Adam hands him a bottle of water out of the fridge, grabbing one for himself as well. He takes a drink and says, “You know, on the way here I realized that I really know nothing about you.” Adam wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “We talked for more than an hour, and yet, nothing.” He narrows his eyes and gives Darren a suspicious look, “You’re not going to kill me are you?”
Darren throws his head back in a laugh. “No, no, I wasn’t planning on it.”
“No? What were you planning on, then?”
Darren shakes his head. “Honestly? I have no idea.”
Adam puts his water down and takes Darren‘s unopened bottle from him, placing it on the countertop with his own. He crowds him against the kitchen counter and kisses him. It’s not soft like he was expecting; it’s hard and fast, and Adam’s got a hand on his neck as he kisses him within an inch of his life.
They’re breathing hard as they break a part and Adam raises an eyebrow. “None?”
It takes Darren a minute to figure out what Adam’s talking about. His brain feels like mush. “Uh, all right, I might have a few ideas.” Darren grins, and kisses him. This time he takes control of the kiss, and Adam fights him for it, and it’s hotter than it has any right to be.
Adam pulls back too soon, and after taking a deep breath asks, “Seriously, you’re not, like, hiding three kids and a wife in the suburbs, right?” When Darren just groans in frustration, Adam continues, “Sorry. It’s just that you’re being all mysterious! And foreign! You can’t blame me for being curious.”
Darren sighs and decides what the fuck, it doesn’t really matter. “Do you have a Savage Garden CD?”
Adam gives him a strange look and says slowly, “Sure, if that’s what you’re in the mood for.” He leaves the room before Darren can process that, and when he does he all but runs after him.
“Oh my god, not to have sex to!” Darren winces because that came out a little too appalled and shrill. “I mean, I just wanted to show you something.” Darren sees Adam crouched down in front of about a billion CD’s encased along a wall, muttering to himself. He’s not even listening to him.
“Would that be in the S’s or G’s... ugh, fuck if I know. I tell you, never alphabetize while drunk - it never ends well.” Adam finally grabs a CD. “Ah, found one. Affirmation, that okay?”
Adam glances up at him and does a double take before staring back down at the CD cover. “Huh.”
Awkward silence reigns until Adam questions dryly, “Is it just me, or does this look a lot like you?”
Darren gives him a small smile. “A younger, more airbrushed version of me. Yeah.”
Adam doesn’t even crack a smile as he flips the CD over. “Darren Hayes, huh? Wow, you really do sing.” Adam finally looks up at him and breaks into a grin. “Oh my god, this is amazing. You're amazing.” Adam starts looking a little flustered and his hand waves around excitedly. “I love your voice. I listened to this all the time when it first came out!”
Adam waves the CD and then looks like he’s going to open it, so Darren snags it out of his hands. As amused and pleased as he is at Adam’s excitement, he really doesn’t want to risk Adam actually trying to play it.
Adam just keeps talking, though. “I think I have some of your new stuff on my computer, too. Shit, what’s that one about sex called? I love that one.” He goes to move, presumably to find his computer, but Darren stops him by grabbing his shoulders.
“Wow, I’m extremely flattered; but no playing of my music unless we’re just going to, like, bake cookies all night.”
Adam turns sheepish and says, “Sorry, living here I never get star stuck, but I usually don’t bring them home either. So, you know...” Adam gestures between them and Darren totally gets it.
“Don’t worry about it. You should have seen me trying to talk to Britney Spears. I’m pretty sure she almost had me tackled by her security guards.”
Adam snorts, “You know, in hindsight, I don‘t know how I didn‘t know who you were. I‘m a horrible fan.”
Darren tosses the CD down on the couch and grabs Adam’s hands. “I’m glad you didn’t.”
“Why’s that?”
Darren shakes his head. “Because I probably wouldn’t be here. It’s just, I like to be judged on who I am, not on who people think I am, you know? ...Wow, that sounds corny as hell.”
Adam nods sagely, “No, I get that.” He waits a beat before wiggling his eyebrows lewdly. “So, want to see my bedroom?”
Darren laughs. “Smooth, man, smooth.”
Adam leads the way with a swish of his hips, saying lightly, “I try.”
Adam’s bed is big and Darren only gets a glimpse of the zebra patterned comforter before he’s being pushed down onto it. It confirms what he’s suspected, and he laughs softly up at Adam. “I take it you’re the one used to being in charge?”
Adam climbs on top of him, straddling Darren’s hips, and answers, “I usually top, yes.”
Darren grabs hold of Adam’s waist and pulls him down until they‘re reclined, Darren resting his weight on his elbows. “What a coincidence, me too,” Darren says against Adam’s mouth before kissing him hard, teeth clacking as he licks into his mouth. Adam starts wiggling until their dicks are lined up, and he thrusts down. They moan in unison and Darren pulls back enough to bite down on Adam’s soft bottom lip.
Adam breaks a part with a gasp and looks indecisive for all of one moment before groaning, “Okay, you can fuck me.”
Darren wasn’t expecting that; in fact he, was ready to bend over for Adam right now, but it’s an offer he can’t pass up. Before thinking it through he says, “We could switch? I go first and then you could fuck me later. I mean, if you have time?”
Adam grinds down against him unconsciously. “I have time,” he sighs, voice slightly husky, and then indignantly, “Hey, why do you get to go first?”
Darren grins and sits up, making Adam fall backwards a little, and he slides a hand over Adam’s erection through his jeans. Darren grips it and squeezes once, twice, and then harder a third time until a moan bubbles up out of Adam’s throat. “Because I’m older than you.” Darren breathes against Adam’s neck, licking softly, before growling, “And you - I don’t know if you know this - you’ve got a baseball bat in your jeans.”
Adam’s laugh is cut short as Darren squeezes him again and then rubs him through his pants once more before starting to unbutton them. Adam helps him with the zipper and then says, “But I know how to use it, seriously, I always get a hole in one or...” Adam’s nose scrunches up, “What do you call it when you score in baseball?”
Darren laughs while pulling down Adam’s jeans. “Home runs?” He gets them to Adam’s thigh, but Adam has to get off him to pull them the rest of the way off.
“Yes!” Adam’s voice comes muffled from pulling his shirt over his head, and he drops it to the floor. “I always get a home run.” Darren stares at him in nothing but boxer briefs and believes him.
Holy cow, Darren believes him. Adam lets him stare, and Darren takes him in. Adam’s taller than he thought, miles of long legs and thighs that just beg for him to sink his teeth into them. Darren’s eyes trail up him to that bit of softness in his stomach, to his broad chest and shoulders, to everything covered in a dusting of freckles. Darren meets Adam’s gaze and knows his appreciation must be obvious, because Adam’s breath kind of hitches.
Darren smirks and hopes it’s sexy and not stupid looking. He makes a twirling motion with his hand encouraging Adam to turn around, and with a saucy grin Adam complies.
Darren’s eyes are instantly drawn to his ass and thighs as he tries not to swallow his own tongue. “Take them off,” Darren directs, and it comes out way hoarser than he expected.
Adam throws him a look over his shoulder but does as he‘s told. Darren has to clear his throat that’s suddenly gone dry as Adam slowly slides his briefs down, bending forward slightly to step out of them. Darren follows the curve of his spine to the round jut of his ass and has to refrain himself from grabbing him and biting at the dip where his ass meets his thighs. If he whimpers a little, he’s fairly confident that Adam didn’t hear him.
Before Adam can turn back around, Darren’s on him, pulling him to his chest and whispering against the back of his ear, “Fuck you’re gorgeous.” Adam leans back into him on an exhale, and he’s a couple inches taller than Darren, so he slouches a little. Darren kisses behind his ear. “And tall,” Darren says, and he feels Adam’s rumbled laugh more than he hears it.
Darren likes the contrast of feeling Adam’s naked body against his own clothed one, but he decides that he would like it better if he was naked too. He spins them around until Adam is facing the bed and tells him, “Lay down on your stomach,” quickly adding, “Please?”
Adam looks back at him with a hint of smirk and says, “Since you asked so nicely.” Adam crawls up the bed to lay down and Darren quickly starts shedding his clothes. He remembers to ask as he’s stepping out of his slacks-
“Where’s your stuff?”
Adam points to drawer to the left of the bed and Darren goes over to rummage in it until he finds what he needs: lube, condoms, and a small bottle of lotion. He puts the stuff beside a fidgeting Adam, and wearing only his briefs crawls up the bed until he’s straddling Adam’s ass. He’s soft and pale and Darren doesn’t feel bad about gripping his hips until his fingertips leave smears of red behind.
Adam seems a little restless under him and Darren soothes him by running a hand down his spine and then reaching for the bottle of lotion. He uncaps it and asks, “Is this okay?” He waves the bottle down at Adam, who looks surprised, but says yes.
Darren warms the lotion in his hands before setting them on Adam’s back and starting to massage, kneading muscle and warm skin beneath his palms. Adam melts and turns boneless for him, moaning loudly whenever Darren hits a particularly tight spot.
Darren feels zen about it, lost to the feel of soft skin and the hard tension of the knots in Adam’s muscles that he gradually loosens up. He becomes fully aware again when Adam’s moans start becoming louder and he starts grinding against the mattress, jerking roughly back into Darren as he does so.
Darren laughs and says, “Alright, alright.” He leans all the way forward and kisses the back of Adam’s neck. “I was just trying to relax you.” He trails bites and licks over Adam’s shoulder and asks, “How do you want me?”
Adam lifts his head and kisses him fast, all teeth and tongue, before saying thickly, “Like this.”
Adam lifts up onto his hands and Darren gets it, quickly sliding off him, as Adam gets on his knees. Darren puts a hand on one of his thighs until Adam spreads his legs enough for Darren to get between them. He doesn’t waste time slicking up his fingers with lube and circling Adam’s hole, before dipping his thumb inside.
Adam twitches but doesn’t say anything; Darren asks, “You good?”
“Yeah, but tonight would be good.” Adam looks back at him and a soft smile belies his words, “Come on, I thought you wanted to fuck me.”
Darren answers by pushing a finger into him and Adam obviously hasn’t done this in a while, because he’s immediately engulfed in tight, tight heat. Darren slowly stretches him and somehow stops himself from just rubbing one out on Adam’s ass. It’s a near thing.
As Darren adds a second finger Adam can’t seem to keep still, tensing and relaxing in turns, head hanging low and breath coming heavy. Darren runs his other hand up Adam’s freckled back and into his hair, tugging lightly. He slips a third finger in and goes straight for Adam’s prostate, and from Adam’s guttural moan, he knows he’s found it. He grins into Adam’s shoulder and rubs at the spot relentlessly until Adam’s shaking and tensing around him.
Adam’s arms go out beneath him and Darren takes that as all the invitation he needs. He hurries out of his briefs and rolls on a condom in a haze of arousal, setting himself up behind Adam before he knows it. Adam’s still collapsed, head resting on his arms. He moves to get back up, but Darren pushes on his back, keeping him prone.
Adam’s ass is up in the air and his back is perfectly curved as Darren slides into him in one smooth move. Darren hears a muffled, “Fuck,” and pauses, enjoying the tightness around his dick, when Adam pushes back hard, “No, fuck. Move, motherfuck.”
Darren huffs out a laugh and moves, fucking into Adam just like he wants to: hard and fast. Adam finally talks, variations of fucks and oh gods, all muffled by his arms. It winds Darren up, heat shooting through him, and he has to grab Adam around the waist and pull him up, skin against skin as Adam is slammed against his sweaty chest. Adam’s louder now and Darren keeps thrusting hard, jerking them across the bed. Darren’s about to come his brains out and slides his hand down until it’s on Adam’s dick. Adam groans and jerks into Darren’s hand, coming hard, and soaking his hand.
Darren squeezes his eyes shut and thrusts harder as Adam tightens around him. His own orgasm tears through him and he finds nirvana as every nerve ending sings in pleasure. He relaxes completely, collapsing onto the warm body beneath him.
Darren’s heart rate slowly starts to come down and he realizes he’s smothering Adam into the mattress. He’s gross and sticky and his arm is crushed under Adam. He’s also still in Adam, but he really doesn’t plan on moving for at least ten years.
Adam finally moves underneath him and Darren slips out, making them both groan. Adam rolls onto his side and looks at him under heavy-hooded eyes as Darren lays beside him. Adam reaches down and pulls the condom off him, ties it, and throws it off the side of the bed into what Darren hopes is a rubbish bin. Adam finishes the futile clean up with tissues from the night stand, and then snuggles up to him.
Darren runs a hand though his sweaty hair. “Well, did I hit a home run?”
Adam smiles languidly at him. “Oh, yeah.” He closes his eyes, “But I caught the ball.”
Darren laughs and pulls the end of the blanket that Adam’s hogging over himself. “That doesn’t even makes sense.”
“Whatever, stupid sports metaphors,” Adam slurs sleepily.
“Uh, huh.” Darren watches him and knows he’s asleep as his breathing goes slow and deep. Darren closes his eyes and falls into a deep sleep for the first time in a long while.
Part 2