I really have no idea what the hell I'm doing
So, I've been thinking. And talking to people. Which is never a good combination. But then I started thinking some more. And that had me thinking other things. And then I listened to the Kujibiki Unbalance soundtrack some.
(I honestly think it was that, beyond the whole thinking thing, that got me going, there.)
But seriously, now.
What does it take to be a writer?
Rather, what special qualities must one possess that I might be missing, or could work on enhancing in myself?
I did a bit of writing in college. Took a few classes, passed my work around. I never really could tell what other people thought of it. Anyway, I gave it up. Packed it all away, stuffed it in a disused corner of my hard drive and forgot about it.
Mostly, I told myself that I didn't really have anything to write about. Writing, as it was to me, was for big people with grandiose ideas about art and messages to share with the world and somesuch. That wasn't me, for sure. With my penchant for keeping my head low and relaxing on my own terms, I wasn't one to make waves, and to me, the pen was as valid a weapon as anything with a trigger and a handguard.
I also felt they should be regulated just as strongly. Because, let's face it - there's a lot of shit out there. Steaming piles of utter crap that would have been better off dissolved away by a few swift blows upside the head before the minds that birthed them could ever vomit them forth onto paper or keyboard. And I'll be honest - I didn't want to add to the pile. Because I knew that'd be what I was doing. No one is (or should be) more critical of your own work than you are, yourself.
So, writing wasn't for me, I figured. I'd make my living like everybody else, an hour at a time, doing whatever somebody else wanted on a given company's dime.
It was right about the time I started getting back into anime a year or two back that I really got a chance to delve into doujin culture.
Doujin for me, before that, was pretty much synonymous with filthy, deviant porn that regular studios wouldn't even touch (ero-anime studios, too, mind. That'll really say something). I'm going to assume that's how pretty much everybody saw them, or still sees them. S'just how it is, right? Prevailing opinions, and whatnot. Doujinshi, along with dakimakura and eroge, are like shibboleths of geekitude - and not just the regular anime fan-level geekitude, but the stuff that'll get you in trouble even with other fans.
(I will touch on the existence of my dakimakura at another point - that isn't relevant to this discussion, though it DOES kind of push the point home as far as my own geekiness-credibility).
I'm not exactly sure how this opinion changed for me. It wasn't any specific moment of revelation, far as I can tell - one of those gradual-as-tectonic-shifts things that eventually turn you around backwards before you know it. I guess when you've been a fan as long as I have, and you see enough people that sink blood, sweat and tears into something that they genuinely love, for nothing more than the fact that they ENJOY it - no money, no company expectations, no reputation guidelines or editors breathing down their necks to produce quality product - you get a different sense of things. You play the games that people make themselves, you read the stories, you buy the manga, you read the author's notes, and you think, "Well, this is really something. They really love this stuff. I love this stuff, too. I gotta hand it to them for doing something I can't."
Only, is that latter bit really the case? I already know I can't draw for shit, so that's out. But writing? I'm not gonna win any awards, but...I dunno, maybe I could slap something together. Something that generally resembles a story. I can spin a word or two, or three, or five...hundred. Lord knows I've got the time. All that remains, really, is the will. I know plenty of people that can draw, so hey, maybe I can bum an illustration or two off them. I'm not looking to make money off this, so I can put it together on my own time, and hey, maybe somebody'll get a kick out of it when I pass it around at Fanime or AX or whatever.
And lo, my decision to work on a light novel was born.
I still have no idea where I'm going with this. But y'know, I think it'll be fun. I'm not answering to anybody but myself, so I'm not betraying any of the guidelines I set for myself as far as anime enjoyment. (That's what I'm telling myself, anyway.)
So, any day I don't get any actual novel work done, I'll probably come on here to flex the old muscles, so to speak. Or maybe I'll set up a blog. Or both.
The sky (or wallscroll-festooned ceiling, rather) really is pretty much the limit here.
(I honestly think it was that, beyond the whole thinking thing, that got me going, there.)
But seriously, now.
What does it take to be a writer?
Rather, what special qualities must one possess that I might be missing, or could work on enhancing in myself?
I did a bit of writing in college. Took a few classes, passed my work around. I never really could tell what other people thought of it. Anyway, I gave it up. Packed it all away, stuffed it in a disused corner of my hard drive and forgot about it.
Mostly, I told myself that I didn't really have anything to write about. Writing, as it was to me, was for big people with grandiose ideas about art and messages to share with the world and somesuch. That wasn't me, for sure. With my penchant for keeping my head low and relaxing on my own terms, I wasn't one to make waves, and to me, the pen was as valid a weapon as anything with a trigger and a handguard.
I also felt they should be regulated just as strongly. Because, let's face it - there's a lot of shit out there. Steaming piles of utter crap that would have been better off dissolved away by a few swift blows upside the head before the minds that birthed them could ever vomit them forth onto paper or keyboard. And I'll be honest - I didn't want to add to the pile. Because I knew that'd be what I was doing. No one is (or should be) more critical of your own work than you are, yourself.
So, writing wasn't for me, I figured. I'd make my living like everybody else, an hour at a time, doing whatever somebody else wanted on a given company's dime.
It was right about the time I started getting back into anime a year or two back that I really got a chance to delve into doujin culture.
Doujin for me, before that, was pretty much synonymous with filthy, deviant porn that regular studios wouldn't even touch (ero-anime studios, too, mind. That'll really say something). I'm going to assume that's how pretty much everybody saw them, or still sees them. S'just how it is, right? Prevailing opinions, and whatnot. Doujinshi, along with dakimakura and eroge, are like shibboleths of geekitude - and not just the regular anime fan-level geekitude, but the stuff that'll get you in trouble even with other fans.
(I will touch on the existence of my dakimakura at another point - that isn't relevant to this discussion, though it DOES kind of push the point home as far as my own geekiness-credibility).
I'm not exactly sure how this opinion changed for me. It wasn't any specific moment of revelation, far as I can tell - one of those gradual-as-tectonic-shifts things that eventually turn you around backwards before you know it. I guess when you've been a fan as long as I have, and you see enough people that sink blood, sweat and tears into something that they genuinely love, for nothing more than the fact that they ENJOY it - no money, no company expectations, no reputation guidelines or editors breathing down their necks to produce quality product - you get a different sense of things. You play the games that people make themselves, you read the stories, you buy the manga, you read the author's notes, and you think, "Well, this is really something. They really love this stuff. I love this stuff, too. I gotta hand it to them for doing something I can't."
Only, is that latter bit really the case? I already know I can't draw for shit, so that's out. But writing? I'm not gonna win any awards, but...I dunno, maybe I could slap something together. Something that generally resembles a story. I can spin a word or two, or three, or five...hundred. Lord knows I've got the time. All that remains, really, is the will. I know plenty of people that can draw, so hey, maybe I can bum an illustration or two off them. I'm not looking to make money off this, so I can put it together on my own time, and hey, maybe somebody'll get a kick out of it when I pass it around at Fanime or AX or whatever.
And lo, my decision to work on a light novel was born.
I still have no idea where I'm going with this. But y'know, I think it'll be fun. I'm not answering to anybody but myself, so I'm not betraying any of the guidelines I set for myself as far as anime enjoyment. (That's what I'm telling myself, anyway.)
So, any day I don't get any actual novel work done, I'll probably come on here to flex the old muscles, so to speak. Or maybe I'll set up a blog. Or both.
The sky (or wallscroll-festooned ceiling, rather) really is pretty much the limit here.