(no subject)
all these thoughts running through my head. i saw my brother yesterday, my little brother. i dont even want to get into it. im so glad i didnt lose her, i dont know what i would've done if i did. i would've been all alone. i would've been without her. I look back at my whole life, and i hate it. i dislike things alot, but i've never really hated anything. it hurts to think of it, and when i do think of it, there really isnt one thing good that ever happened, nothing ever went my way, my whole lfe hasn't went my way, i've been chasing it for s long. chasing happiness, lookng in all dirctions, all i find is shit. untill i met her. the only part of my life that i can look back and smile on is the time that we spend together. having her by my side and knowing that she cares bout me just as uch as i care about her is the greatest feeling i've ever felt. to have her gone was the worsst feeling i've ever had in my entire life, i felt just as bad as last year, it even happened in the same week. I thought i lost everything, i thought she wanted somebody else. I wanted to die. But i felt like i needed to keep hope, i thought ifi could prove myself that she would still want to be with me. I did everything wrong, maybe not everything but the one of the most important things. it makes me hate myself, to know that i did that. Butnow i am happy. Now I am finally for the first time in my ife getting the entire picture, I know what im supposed to do, and how i can do it, and i finally have the mipnd to do it and i am thinking sraight. I owe it all to her. I could never thank her enough for the way she's changed my life forever. I can't type anymore