(no subject)
Well, here I am again. I can't believe it's been a month since my last entry, I guess I didn't realize it'd been a month, I've been only allowing myself awareness of a few days at a time, mostly focusing on the current day only. I still hate my job because I allows me too much time in my own head, and usually thinking of her, but I don't have the option to not work.
The highest points of my summer have been hanging with friends every chance I get, getting an amazing shot on a trophy antelope, and purchasing a new truck for myself. As amazing as these are, they still feel almost lack luster with her at my side or waiting when I get home. The hardest parts of my day are still waking up and wishing that this never happened and realizing at the end of the day that I'm going home to be alone rather than with her. But hey, at least it doesn't hurt physically anymore, I guess that's something.
I think that may be all my news. I leave you with a verse from Eminem's Space Bound.
So after a year and 6 months it's no longer me that you want
But I love you so much it hurts
Never mistreated you once
I poured my heart out to you
Let down my guard swear to god
I'll blow my brains in your lap
Lay here and die in your arms
Drop to my knees and I'm pleading
I'm trying to stop you from leaving
You won't even listen so fuck it
I'm trying to stop you from breathing
I put both hands on your throat
I sit on top of you squeezing
'Til I snap you neck like a Popsicle stick
Ain't no possible reason I could think of to let you walk up out this house
And let you live
Tears stream down both of my cheeks
Then I let you just go and just give
And before I put that gun to my temple
I told you this
And I would've done anything for you
To show you how much I adored you
But it's over now
It's too late to save our love
Just promise me you'll think of me every time you look up in the sky and see a star 'cause imma
The highest points of my summer have been hanging with friends every chance I get, getting an amazing shot on a trophy antelope, and purchasing a new truck for myself. As amazing as these are, they still feel almost lack luster with her at my side or waiting when I get home. The hardest parts of my day are still waking up and wishing that this never happened and realizing at the end of the day that I'm going home to be alone rather than with her. But hey, at least it doesn't hurt physically anymore, I guess that's something.
I think that may be all my news. I leave you with a verse from Eminem's Space Bound.
So after a year and 6 months it's no longer me that you want
But I love you so much it hurts
Never mistreated you once
I poured my heart out to you
Let down my guard swear to god
I'll blow my brains in your lap
Lay here and die in your arms
Drop to my knees and I'm pleading
I'm trying to stop you from leaving
You won't even listen so fuck it
I'm trying to stop you from breathing
I put both hands on your throat
I sit on top of you squeezing
'Til I snap you neck like a Popsicle stick
Ain't no possible reason I could think of to let you walk up out this house
And let you live
Tears stream down both of my cheeks
Then I let you just go and just give
And before I put that gun to my temple
I told you this
And I would've done anything for you
To show you how much I adored you
But it's over now
It's too late to save our love
Just promise me you'll think of me every time you look up in the sky and see a star 'cause imma