Title: Eyes of a Fallen Angel
Author:
”shadowess”Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Suicidal Thoughts, Mention to Homophobia, Depression
Word Count: 804
Author’s Notes: Title comes from the most awesome (and sad) song “3 Libras” by A Perfect Circle.
Written for
Summary: Written for this prompt at
:
Arthur/Merlin
Arthur leaves an anonymous letter/note in Merlin's locker telling him how beautiful he is. Merlin was going to kill himself but this stops him.
Up to you if Merlin finds out who left it, if it goes any farther than this.
When Merlin woke up, he knew that today was his last day alive. As the sun peaked through his small window, he realized this was his last time waking up to the sun, his last time to ever wake up. He curled further under his covers and sucked in a shaky breath, today would be his last day at school. His last breakfast, his last Math and History classes, his last day to watch Arthur Pendragon. Merlin bit his lip just thinking of the other boy, the most handsome man Merlin had ever seen and whom had never seen Merlin. Merlin has spent his last week watching Arthur, wishing for the other boy to just see him. But Arthur was one of the popular kids, he would never see Merlin.
A pounding on his door jolted him out of his thoughts,
“Emrys, get out of bed or you’ll miss the bus!” The orphanage’s head boy hit the door one more time before moving to the next door. Merlin pushed himself out of bed and got ready for his last day.
At school Merlin walked through the halls as if in a dream. All the other students past him by, Merlin was sure that someone, anyone would have noticed. Didn’t anyone see him? See him hurting? See him dying?
‘After today,’ Merlin though, ‘it won’t matter if they see me or not.’
His classes passed in a rush, he doodled in his notebooks and shrugged when the teachers asked him for answers. He didn’t care anymore, what would grades mean if he had no future? In his Math and History classes he gazed towards the windows and luxuriated as the sun glinted off Arthur’s hair. Math and History were the only classes he shared with the blonde, and Merlin has picked Thursday as his last day just for that reason. He wanted to spend his last day soaking in the beauty that was Arthur, even if it was and always had been, from a distance.
History was the last class of the day and when it ended Merlin felt as if the hole that was swallowing him for the past year split into a gaping chasm. Merlin sat in class and tracked Arthur as he packed up his bag and turned to joke with his friend Leon. Then Arthur turned back to his desk and picked up a lone piece of paper from his desk and then left the room. Merlin waited until the whole room had emptied before he took a shuddering breath and then left the classroom for the last time.
As he walked towards his locker, the hallway seemed to press in on him, and he struggled to keep his breath steady. He looked side to side and still no one saw him. He wanted to cry, scream and beg them to look at him. If only someone would look at him and actually see him! Please won’t someone notice him? But as usual, everyone continued on with their day as if Merlin didn’t exist. Merlin made it to his locker, and rested his forehead against the cool metal. It won’t be long now, he just had to open his locker for the last time and then he could go away.
As his locker opened a piece of paper fluttered to the floor and Merlin bent down to grab it. He hoped it wasn’t another one of those letters that some of the boys left for him. He knew if it was, he wouldn’t be able to hold back his tears. The letters were always so cruel, filled with nasty slurs, calling him a fag and threatening to kill him if he looked at any of them. Merlin was so invisible that even the bullies didn’t see him, he didn’t even warrant a physical threat, just a written one. Well he would solve all their problems today.
Merlin unfolded the paper, steeling himself against the cruel words, and then read it. He gasped a sob and dropped the paper like it had turned into a snake. He frantically looked up and down the hallway, looking for someone, anyone, who would have sent him the note.
There, leaning by the water fountain, was Arthur, looking straight at Merlin. Arthur walked over to Merlin and bent down to collect the note.
“You dropped my letter Merlin.”
Merlin shook his head in disbelief as tears started to run down his face.
“You see me.”
Arthur nodded with a smile and then reached up a hand and wiped Merlin’s tears away with his thumb.
“As my note said.” Arthur handed the note back to Merlin who clutched it to his chest. “You can read it again Merlin.”
Merlin sucked in a breath and held the note out with trembling hands.
“I see you Merlin, and you are beautiful.”