Dilemmas, I has them.
Ok, so, for those of you who aren't familiar with the customs of the Old South, my hometown does this thing called Pageant where all the rich white kids get dressed up and perform all kinds of traditional scenes and dances. Presiding over all of this are the Pageant king and queen who, at the end of the festivities, host a ball. Now, for all that my family are not Old South folk, my parents have Connections and, for the last few years, have been invited to the ball. This year, it happens that I'll be home while all of this is going on, and my parents want me to go with them. On the one hand, it's an opportunity to get dressed up and look nice, which I don't often have. On the other hand, I would be surrounded by people I don't know and don't have any particular desire to talk to, and I don't have a date. My mom (strongly) suggested I invited one of my classmates, who I... kind of like? But he's the kind of guy who would say yes just because I asked him, not because he actually wanted to. Otherwise, I'd be dependent on my parents finding me a date, and... yeah. On top of all this, I have a strong, political objection to the entire event, the nostalgic glorification of a history of class division and oppression, and the implicit support of continued subordination based on economic and racial divisions. And I don't like these people.
So... I guess I'm not going.
Another thing that's been on my mind lately -and this may not make sense to some of the straight people- is sexual identity. See, I identify as bisexual, which is sort of a constricting label and not entirely accurate, but that's beside the point except to say that, bottom line: I'm Not Straight, which covers all manner of sins. The thing is, in my current location, I'm the only one. This is the first time in about ten years that I haven't had a queer friend in the immediate vicinity, and I'm feeling... isolated? Somehow cut off from that aspect of myself, but also distanced from my straight friends. I feel like I should probably join GSA, but don't really want to and I certainly don't have the time. I just... I don't know. It's a weird situation, and I don't know that there's really anyone I can talk to about it.
Also, last night, I dreamed I was searching for lesbian porn on the internet, but I couldn't find what I was looking for.
So... I guess I'm not going.
Another thing that's been on my mind lately -and this may not make sense to some of the straight people- is sexual identity. See, I identify as bisexual, which is sort of a constricting label and not entirely accurate, but that's beside the point except to say that, bottom line: I'm Not Straight, which covers all manner of sins. The thing is, in my current location, I'm the only one. This is the first time in about ten years that I haven't had a queer friend in the immediate vicinity, and I'm feeling... isolated? Somehow cut off from that aspect of myself, but also distanced from my straight friends. I feel like I should probably join GSA, but don't really want to and I certainly don't have the time. I just... I don't know. It's a weird situation, and I don't know that there's really anyone I can talk to about it.
Also, last night, I dreamed I was searching for lesbian porn on the internet, but I couldn't find what I was looking for.