Close Range Hand Grenade
I have to get this out of my system...
Too much aggression and hatred toward certain people. It's not supposed to be like this. This is not me. I don't act like this. I don't break things and put holes in doors. What the fuck?! I just can't get rid of my anger toward them. I'm trapped... They suck me in and expect me to do what they say. They don't realize that in the process they are killing me. You can't dump everything on me. I'm only human and can handle so much.
Do you remember when I had just turned 15? Do you realize that if you keep this shit up that could be a possibility?! Do you seriously want me to go down that road again?! Think about the consequences of your actions... You say you're sorry. I'm starting to believe that isn't so. Don't get me wrong when I say this, but who was supposed to be taking care of who? Why do you think I want to leave? I simply cannot handle this anymore. It's only been a week and I am more torn than I have been in a long time. All of you need to stop. Please! I'm begging you...
I don't care what I'll have to do at this point. I will vanish before I break. The last place I want to be is back there again. I will not put myself through that hell. I will not take those drugs, even if force fed. I don't need them to fight my inner battles. I've been doing it long enough without them. I just ask to be left alone for awhile. Can you people let the reality sink in my head first so I can deal with it on my own? No. You fucking bastards have to throw me into a whirlwind of utter bullshit. I signed up for a school in North Carolina. Now someone wants to move with me to make sure I'll be fine... >< I will. I wear big girl panties after all. Thank the triple goddess and gods that my cousin agrees with me. I need to get out of here before I do harm someone. I need to stop typing this journal. I've damaged my hand in the process. My father came over... Needless to say the hole in the door count is now 4.
Blessed be. May the fates inspire your general direction.
<3 Ping
Too much aggression and hatred toward certain people. It's not supposed to be like this. This is not me. I don't act like this. I don't break things and put holes in doors. What the fuck?! I just can't get rid of my anger toward them. I'm trapped... They suck me in and expect me to do what they say. They don't realize that in the process they are killing me. You can't dump everything on me. I'm only human and can handle so much.
Do you remember when I had just turned 15? Do you realize that if you keep this shit up that could be a possibility?! Do you seriously want me to go down that road again?! Think about the consequences of your actions... You say you're sorry. I'm starting to believe that isn't so. Don't get me wrong when I say this, but who was supposed to be taking care of who? Why do you think I want to leave? I simply cannot handle this anymore. It's only been a week and I am more torn than I have been in a long time. All of you need to stop. Please! I'm begging you...
I don't care what I'll have to do at this point. I will vanish before I break. The last place I want to be is back there again. I will not put myself through that hell. I will not take those drugs, even if force fed. I don't need them to fight my inner battles. I've been doing it long enough without them. I just ask to be left alone for awhile. Can you people let the reality sink in my head first so I can deal with it on my own? No. You fucking bastards have to throw me into a whirlwind of utter bullshit. I signed up for a school in North Carolina. Now someone wants to move with me to make sure I'll be fine... >< I will. I wear big girl panties after all. Thank the triple goddess and gods that my cousin agrees with me. I need to get out of here before I do harm someone. I need to stop typing this journal. I've damaged my hand in the process. My father came over... Needless to say the hole in the door count is now 4.
Blessed be. May the fates inspire your general direction.
<3 Ping