why must I get myself into the situations...?

Dec 15, 2004 21:05

Alright...this is partly my fault. I shouldn't have looked.

But I did, because curiosity, while not being my best characteristic, is my main feature.

And now I regret it. ButI regret what I saw more.

The thing is, I need to find out if it's true...and if it is, it'll destroy me, because I've put my love and trust into this, and to find out that it might not be real...it will finish off what else has been done to me.

Normally I would laugh this off. But this has hit me hard, and I'm scared now.

Also, though I have to find out, they're going to find out that I looked when I shouldn't have. And then I'll be yet another disappointment.

Shit.

Can I just die?

I feel like the worst person in the world, because I feel like I betrayed someone's trust. But then again, I feel scared due to what I may have found out.

I hate life.
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