Stop fooling yourself.
*Disclaimer* "This has a lot of generalizations. This is directed at no one in particular."
Nothing plays out the way one would expect you know? Sometimes it feels like everything I imagined as a child was wrong, every possible future a lie. What do you want to be when you grow up? When exactly does one become a grown up? Are we grown up, are we mature, has anything changed? Do you live alone, with friends, in a closet, with your parents? Is this what you imagined? Are you pleased with where you are at in life? Is this where you want to be… Or is everything completely back asswards.
Do you like my writing style? The constant questions…does it make you think or am I the only one.
Does this world call to you? What does it say, does it ask of you something. Can you give up everything to follow the call? Does it scream to your being? Who can say…? I guess the only person that can answer any question is oneself. Expecting the correct answer from others in regards to inner turmoil doesn't work.
A man once said that a job is the slowest way to make money. I agree. Most of us will slave our lives away. It doesn't matter if the work is hard or light. It will destroy us all. We'll spend our lives answering questions, cooking other people's food, building their houses and forget our dreams. We'll fall into other people's dreams and help make them become a reality. We'll explain that this is the truest and quickest way to being content. We'll get married. Settle down. Have a kid. We'll exploit others while they exploit us. We'll buy what they're selling. They tell us that what we bought last week is outdated…we need to buy the newest version… and we do. Our clothing comes with an expiration date unprinted as it may be. People look at you funny when you wear what you want if it's not that day's current style. I personally enjoy raping people's eyes with my 70's orange and brown color scheme, my bowling shirts and my constantly dyed hair.
They tell us that the American Dream is attainable by all. Some would say that the American Dream is Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. Good saying but all it does is promote selfish behaviors. Hoard your money until you can afford that new toy. You deserve it. Work your minimum wage job you too will someday be the CEO. Welcome to the real world if you are absent more than three times you will be terminated.
Sometimes I wonder. All the time I wonder. I've forgotten haven't I? We are better than this. Why are we such individualists? What is better… the American Dream of happiness of the individual or the global dream of happiness for the combined people? Neither is attainable for most in the world unfortunately, with religions and countries constantly warring. Nations blockading others food supplies and updated medical supplies because their leaders are "evil". We keep third world countries poor because they make for cheap labor, some of them we keep poor because even if we helped their leadership would make sure the people stay poor while the government lives the good life. There are so many different reasons why…This situation is utterly frakked and once again I know it won't be changing any time soon.
No one is thankful anymore. I'll be the first one to admit. I'm not as thankful as I could be. I'm no where near thankful for what I have and I should be. Next time you sit through that meal that is too much for you to finish and sweep the leftovers into the trash think about it.
When was the last time you thanked a soldier. I don't care if you approve or not. I don't believe we should be in Iraq but you know we are there because our leader says we should be. The people who are their losing their lives are mostly young individuals from poorer families. Sure there are gung ho's over there but they are the minority. Most people join the service to protect the country, to pay for school, hell to just survive the transition from "child" to "adult". Some people need that kind of guidance. But what do we do when they get back. We call them baby killers and threaten them. What the hell is people's problem? Make up your minds please.
I want to escape the American Dream. I want to escape the constant cycle of buying shit I don't need. I'm tired of being stuck with this feeling like I'll be trapped working a crap job for crap wages my entire life. I want to live my life helping the world along. One person can't change the world. One person can't even make a dent. One person can help change the lives of many other people though. One person can but am I honestly the kind that can make such a sacrifice and if I enjoy making others happy so much is it really a sacrifice?
How much can one say they know them self? Are you of one mind or many? Do you ever regret the choices you make on a whim? Are you the same person today that you were last week, last month, last year? And let's say you can know yourself. Can you ever know another? Can you ever understand where they may come from without knowing every detail of their life?
I am such a sucker for a new toy. I bought a Nintendo Wii. I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have bought my DS. I shouldn't have bought my 360 either. I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have. My life is full of those. My parents at different times have told me life is about balance. I can't bring myself to balance. I over do one thing and ignore the rest. I zone out. Ignore the world while I do one thing. Forget everything else at that moment. Medically it would be called hyperfocus which is usually a byproduct of ADHD. I have trouble letting things go once I get started on something I have to solve it my own way. I could use someone else's experience to guide me but most of the time I'm so single minded that asking for help is so far outside my thought process that it would never come up.
HyperFocus in case you were wondering is something I did not make up.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperfocus
I feel like I'm drowning in the questions. They never cease. Constantly haunting and yet I can't wait for another answer to appear. Is this normal or is there just something terribly wrong with me.
I get in trouble at work all the time because I get bored. I can't keep myself busy. Every time they give me something I finish it way before they expect. I've gotten tired of asking for more work because it takes longer for them to give it to me than it does to actually do it. But today I got to spend two hours writing so I think this will be my new downtime activity since I can't get in trouble for thinking. Just so long as I look like I'm doing work my boss said she wouldn't yell at me.
I'm starting to get bored again. My mind is jumping more randomly now. Sometimes I wonder sometimes I wonder. Who can say where we are heading? Is there such a thing as original thought anymore?
So I'll leave you with this...
Jesus wept, Buddha laughed. Were either right?
Nothing plays out the way one would expect you know? Sometimes it feels like everything I imagined as a child was wrong, every possible future a lie. What do you want to be when you grow up? When exactly does one become a grown up? Are we grown up, are we mature, has anything changed? Do you live alone, with friends, in a closet, with your parents? Is this what you imagined? Are you pleased with where you are at in life? Is this where you want to be… Or is everything completely back asswards.
Do you like my writing style? The constant questions…does it make you think or am I the only one.
Does this world call to you? What does it say, does it ask of you something. Can you give up everything to follow the call? Does it scream to your being? Who can say…? I guess the only person that can answer any question is oneself. Expecting the correct answer from others in regards to inner turmoil doesn't work.
A man once said that a job is the slowest way to make money. I agree. Most of us will slave our lives away. It doesn't matter if the work is hard or light. It will destroy us all. We'll spend our lives answering questions, cooking other people's food, building their houses and forget our dreams. We'll fall into other people's dreams and help make them become a reality. We'll explain that this is the truest and quickest way to being content. We'll get married. Settle down. Have a kid. We'll exploit others while they exploit us. We'll buy what they're selling. They tell us that what we bought last week is outdated…we need to buy the newest version… and we do. Our clothing comes with an expiration date unprinted as it may be. People look at you funny when you wear what you want if it's not that day's current style. I personally enjoy raping people's eyes with my 70's orange and brown color scheme, my bowling shirts and my constantly dyed hair.
They tell us that the American Dream is attainable by all. Some would say that the American Dream is Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. Good saying but all it does is promote selfish behaviors. Hoard your money until you can afford that new toy. You deserve it. Work your minimum wage job you too will someday be the CEO. Welcome to the real world if you are absent more than three times you will be terminated.
Sometimes I wonder. All the time I wonder. I've forgotten haven't I? We are better than this. Why are we such individualists? What is better… the American Dream of happiness of the individual or the global dream of happiness for the combined people? Neither is attainable for most in the world unfortunately, with religions and countries constantly warring. Nations blockading others food supplies and updated medical supplies because their leaders are "evil". We keep third world countries poor because they make for cheap labor, some of them we keep poor because even if we helped their leadership would make sure the people stay poor while the government lives the good life. There are so many different reasons why…This situation is utterly frakked and once again I know it won't be changing any time soon.
No one is thankful anymore. I'll be the first one to admit. I'm not as thankful as I could be. I'm no where near thankful for what I have and I should be. Next time you sit through that meal that is too much for you to finish and sweep the leftovers into the trash think about it.
When was the last time you thanked a soldier. I don't care if you approve or not. I don't believe we should be in Iraq but you know we are there because our leader says we should be. The people who are their losing their lives are mostly young individuals from poorer families. Sure there are gung ho's over there but they are the minority. Most people join the service to protect the country, to pay for school, hell to just survive the transition from "child" to "adult". Some people need that kind of guidance. But what do we do when they get back. We call them baby killers and threaten them. What the hell is people's problem? Make up your minds please.
I want to escape the American Dream. I want to escape the constant cycle of buying shit I don't need. I'm tired of being stuck with this feeling like I'll be trapped working a crap job for crap wages my entire life. I want to live my life helping the world along. One person can't change the world. One person can't even make a dent. One person can help change the lives of many other people though. One person can but am I honestly the kind that can make such a sacrifice and if I enjoy making others happy so much is it really a sacrifice?
How much can one say they know them self? Are you of one mind or many? Do you ever regret the choices you make on a whim? Are you the same person today that you were last week, last month, last year? And let's say you can know yourself. Can you ever know another? Can you ever understand where they may come from without knowing every detail of their life?
I am such a sucker for a new toy. I bought a Nintendo Wii. I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have bought my DS. I shouldn't have bought my 360 either. I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have. My life is full of those. My parents at different times have told me life is about balance. I can't bring myself to balance. I over do one thing and ignore the rest. I zone out. Ignore the world while I do one thing. Forget everything else at that moment. Medically it would be called hyperfocus which is usually a byproduct of ADHD. I have trouble letting things go once I get started on something I have to solve it my own way. I could use someone else's experience to guide me but most of the time I'm so single minded that asking for help is so far outside my thought process that it would never come up.
HyperFocus in case you were wondering is something I did not make up.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperfocus
I feel like I'm drowning in the questions. They never cease. Constantly haunting and yet I can't wait for another answer to appear. Is this normal or is there just something terribly wrong with me.
I get in trouble at work all the time because I get bored. I can't keep myself busy. Every time they give me something I finish it way before they expect. I've gotten tired of asking for more work because it takes longer for them to give it to me than it does to actually do it. But today I got to spend two hours writing so I think this will be my new downtime activity since I can't get in trouble for thinking. Just so long as I look like I'm doing work my boss said she wouldn't yell at me.
I'm starting to get bored again. My mind is jumping more randomly now. Sometimes I wonder sometimes I wonder. Who can say where we are heading? Is there such a thing as original thought anymore?
So I'll leave you with this...
Jesus wept, Buddha laughed. Were either right?