rant...you have been warned (explicit content)
so lets get this going shall we?
i'm pissed off at this bullshit catch 22 that employers slap on you...i'm tired of the bullshit that you need experience to get work and you need work to get experience. just spent a year in school to become a computer geek and get my certifications/training to move toward the IT sector...and what do i have to show for it? absolutely fuck all. why? because those gods damned employers all want 3 - 5 years experience. now how the hells am i supposed to get this 3-5 years experience when NOBODY WILL FUCKING HIRE ME?!?!?!?! AARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! every single time i go onto all the damned job boards, i feel like ripping someones head off within the first 5 minutes. i am just so damn frustrated by the whole fucking thing. home life is pure hell because i'm constantly on edge and ready to snap within a nano-second...and usually i at least start yelling about the most absolute smallest thing. 15 years in the workforce and now i'm getting absolutely fucking nowhere. i've been suffering from major depression for the past month+ because of it all. my sleeping has gone to shit (usually awake until 4-5am everyday) and my eating has gone through the roof...i'm constantly eating now. my smoking has doubled. my blood pressure has spiked to unsafe levels. i'm constantly agitated. went over to my parents yesterday to help out the old man for a bit, and was asking him to show me how to use the cutting/welding torch just so i had a good chance of causing myself extreme pain. that's all that's been on my mind as of late. must physically hurt and suffer. hells, i even was lifting really heavy things as much as i could in hopes of tearing a muscle. anything!! but of course, because of my physical size/mass, it takes a little more to do so and the old man didn't have anything super heavy. closest he had to super heavy (short of the shed, garage, house and truck) was a damn riding lawnmower...so i decided that it should be heavy enough to hurt. was i wrong. just as strong as i've always been gods damn it...lifted it up onto the bench against his wishes (he wanted to help because apparently i couldn't do it myself....of course i couldn't...had to do the front and then back), but i put it up there and was pissed off that it didn't hurt one single bit. ah fuck it...i think i've done a bit of ranting. it'll have to do...night
i'm pissed off at this bullshit catch 22 that employers slap on you...i'm tired of the bullshit that you need experience to get work and you need work to get experience. just spent a year in school to become a computer geek and get my certifications/training to move toward the IT sector...and what do i have to show for it? absolutely fuck all. why? because those gods damned employers all want 3 - 5 years experience. now how the hells am i supposed to get this 3-5 years experience when NOBODY WILL FUCKING HIRE ME?!?!?!?! AARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! every single time i go onto all the damned job boards, i feel like ripping someones head off within the first 5 minutes. i am just so damn frustrated by the whole fucking thing. home life is pure hell because i'm constantly on edge and ready to snap within a nano-second...and usually i at least start yelling about the most absolute smallest thing. 15 years in the workforce and now i'm getting absolutely fucking nowhere. i've been suffering from major depression for the past month+ because of it all. my sleeping has gone to shit (usually awake until 4-5am everyday) and my eating has gone through the roof...i'm constantly eating now. my smoking has doubled. my blood pressure has spiked to unsafe levels. i'm constantly agitated. went over to my parents yesterday to help out the old man for a bit, and was asking him to show me how to use the cutting/welding torch just so i had a good chance of causing myself extreme pain. that's all that's been on my mind as of late. must physically hurt and suffer. hells, i even was lifting really heavy things as much as i could in hopes of tearing a muscle. anything!! but of course, because of my physical size/mass, it takes a little more to do so and the old man didn't have anything super heavy. closest he had to super heavy (short of the shed, garage, house and truck) was a damn riding lawnmower...so i decided that it should be heavy enough to hurt. was i wrong. just as strong as i've always been gods damn it...lifted it up onto the bench against his wishes (he wanted to help because apparently i couldn't do it myself....of course i couldn't...had to do the front and then back), but i put it up there and was pissed off that it didn't hurt one single bit. ah fuck it...i think i've done a bit of ranting. it'll have to do...night