Last Man Standing
I've been thinking. I'm glad this Livejournal came back to me.
Imagine if I had not changed from 17 years ago.
In my youth, I was firm in the belief that I did not change. In reality, I had yet to experience change. My life was so blessed that I had taken consistency for granted. Each day, I knew exactly what to expect. I had figured out the variables and plugged in the actions to become content.
What is interesting as I look to my past self is that I was no more mature than my peers. I was no smarter than my classmates. I was defined by my gift to fit comfortably into social puzzles.
What did I like about myself? WHO did I want to be, and what kinds of people did I dream of spending my time with?
17 years ago, my dreams for myself would not include any of the challenges I find myself in right now. 12 years ago, even, I would not have imagined I would be on this branch of life. If I were to ask myself now, "Are you happy with where you're at right now?",
I would have to pause and laugh at myself, and quote a friend I used to know. "I was so dumb back then."
Yes. I've made it to happy. I haven't figures it all out yet. I don't know how it'll happen. I know that it will, though.
This was nice. Let me show you something, me.
Imagine if I had not changed from 17 years ago.
In my youth, I was firm in the belief that I did not change. In reality, I had yet to experience change. My life was so blessed that I had taken consistency for granted. Each day, I knew exactly what to expect. I had figured out the variables and plugged in the actions to become content.
What is interesting as I look to my past self is that I was no more mature than my peers. I was no smarter than my classmates. I was defined by my gift to fit comfortably into social puzzles.
What did I like about myself? WHO did I want to be, and what kinds of people did I dream of spending my time with?
17 years ago, my dreams for myself would not include any of the challenges I find myself in right now. 12 years ago, even, I would not have imagined I would be on this branch of life. If I were to ask myself now, "Are you happy with where you're at right now?",
I would have to pause and laugh at myself, and quote a friend I used to know. "I was so dumb back then."
Yes. I've made it to happy. I haven't figures it all out yet. I don't know how it'll happen. I know that it will, though.
This was nice. Let me show you something, me.