(no subject)
this past week has been tough, alot of things went down, to many things in my personal and social life, but ive learned alot, i learned valuable lessons, its going to hurt for a while, realizing what ive been forced to realize, but just like everytime before, ill eventually forgive and forget, its not like this si the first time something like that happened to me, itrs happened only to many times, and last night i just burried it all, i got so fucked up last night i couldnt comprehend anything, i dont know how i made it by my parents last night cuz i was so gone, even though i promised lina i wouldnt get that messed up, i did, i was gone, and for a little while everything went away and i was happy and having fun, but that didnt last..... i dunno maybe its just me, i mean even the nicest ppl sometimes just end up fucking me over, ppl who have never done anything bad to anyone before in their lives somehow do something fucked up to me, like maybe its me, i dunno, or maybge im still a bit drubk and you shouldnt listen to me, who knows, its mothers day and all i can hear in my house ins my mom and dad fighting , and i am one sad marvin, for those of who who have seen hitch hikers guide to the galaxy youd undersatnd, we always want what we cant have, but what if you wanted it before you knew you couldnt have it, does that make you want it even more, or does it just hurt to know something like that , what happens when the only person who can make you truly smile, on the inside and out is the one who is making you cry? do you think some body knows when they are killing someone else, not physically, but metaophorically do you think they realize it?, and if they do do you think they care enough about it to change, and do whats right, or do they say they feel bad but keep doing it anyway , wht if doing the right thing, doing what your brain tells you to osdo, would rip your heart into so many pieces it would never be able to be put back together, do you take the risk and follow your heart, and risk having it broken, but evntually fixed after who knows how long, or do you listen to your brain and rip your own heart into pieces....either way it will be broken right?, so why not save yourself the everlasting what ifs and just follow your heart, so you have no regrerts or what ifs about anything you do, because you did everything you could. well, im drunk and my dad knows it now, nad hes kinda mad at me,, im gonna go showerd and egt dressed cuz my mom is forcing me to go out with mher, ummmyea theres no wayto say bye in an entry like this, just leave......