Flying right [fic]
Title: Flying right
Author: shadowbyrd
Rating: PG - 13
Pairing: Kind of, not quite Tosh/Carys (mentions of Tosh/Mary and Tosh/Kathy)
Word Count: 5515
Summary: A random encounter leads to an unexpected friendship.
“Excuse me, you mind if I sit here?”
“Hm, go ahead.” Tosh didn’t even look up, which was probably a bad idea, but she was in the middle of a thought and if she didn’t get it now it would probably go the way of Coleridge’s Xanadu. In any case, she’d got used to sharing tables in the pub these last few days - there was some kind of business conference or other, complete with lots of busy (or just plain impatient) people in suits full of contempt for the other, more casually dressed lunchtime punters.
Tosh had wondered earlier (no disrespect to Ianto) if this was what Torchwood One was like.
Her new companion sat down quickly, with a rustle of shopping bags and a quiet dull thud of a glass. The executives had nicked all the coasters too.
Then the girl - it was a girl - leant forward and said, “You’re Toshiko, aren’t you?”
Tosh froze mid-word and her other hand drifted down to the phone in her pocket. As soon as she found out where the girl had got her information from she was calling Jack to get down here with the Retcon.
She looked up, armed and ready with a sarcastic remark about the internet, but stopped. Sat opposite her, looking frail, uncertain and a little hopeful was Carys Fletcher.
Tosh blinked and tried to smile. “Yes. I am, yes - how are you?” They never did get around to retconning Carys (which, given recent revelations about their drug of choice, might not be such a bad thing after all); as Owen had said she wasn’t the kind of girl that would go on about it, and even if she did she’d have to tell about how she’d sexed at least eight blokes to death.
“Fine, fine.” She shifted. “Are you working on something?” she asked, glancing at Toshiko’s pad. She made to stand. “If you are I can -”
“No, no, it’s fine,” said Tosh, pushing the paper to one side. “Just had a thought and needed to get it down.” She smiled again, because Carys didn’t look convinced and sipped at her drink, trying to come up with something to say. “How have you been? It’s been what - three months?”
“About that,” said Carys, returning the smile uneasily. “I’ve not been bad.” She swallowed. “I’m working in Waterstones now. Had to leave the fertility clinic, even with you lot erasing the tapes.”
Tosh frowned. “Really? Why?”
“Because Denise still remembered that I punched her in the face and she’s worked there longer than me. Didn’t look too good on my CV, but my cousin knew someone so I got the job.”
“That’s something,” Tosh remarked with a nod. It was strange talking with someone you’d helped rescue from possession by a gaseous alien being as though they were someone you had just got talking to at the bus stop one day. Especially when you hadn’t had much part in the saving.
Carys, turning her glass between a thumb and finger, seemed of a mind. “I’m probably bothering you - I just wanted to say “thanks” again. I mean, if you lot hadn’t gotten to me - I only really said thank you to Gwen and to Jack. Not really fair on the rest of you.”
Tosh laughed at that. “Trust me,” she said, a hand laying on Carys’ arm for a moment, “we don’t do it for the thank yous and the fanfare.”
“Doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it,” Carys told her, finally having a drink.
Tosh sat back and picked up her pen, looking down to hide the smirk. “You’re too kind.” The smile slipped and fell away. “We’re not always so lucky.”
Carys drank and Tosh finished her note-to-self in the margin. Around them men laughed, the fruit machine whirred and trilled and suits talked business.
As Tosh capped her pen Carys set her glass down and leant forward again. “How come you haven’t tried to censor me?” Her voice dropped. “I mean you lot - top secret organisation, aliens and all that. None of you even gave the “don’t go to the papers” lark.”
Tosh paused before answering, tucking her pen and notebook away into her bag as she thought what to say. Truth was she’d slipped their minds - one of those get-round-to-it jobs that never got done and when you finally had the time they didn’t seem necessary.
“What you went through was… invasive. Traumatic. Even if you were the type to use this to your advantage, there aren’t many who would be able to understand what had happened to you.” Tosh glanced up at her. “Basically we took a chance on you wanting to overcome it rather than let it overshadow you. If that makes any sense.”
Carys nodded absently, tucking her hair behind her ears. “That - that’s another reason I came over.”
Tosh tilted her head, hand drifting back to her pocket.
Carys cleared her throat. “I was wondering if there’s anyone you all talk to. To deal with what you do. Like a psychiatrist or a therapist or something.”
Therapist. Now there was an idea. She’d have to bring it up next time Ianto started making pointed noises at Jack over the budget.
“We don’t have anyone official. Mostly we just talk amongst ourselves, try and get each other through it.”
“Oh.” Carys’ face fell. “Okay. It was just if there was someone -Dad’s had me going to see a counsellor, and she’s lovely but - I have to keep making stuff up. Say it was drugs or whatever, and then that becomes the focus of it all and we have to spend session after session going over that and -” She stopped for a moment, sheer frustration getting the better of her. “I can’t get anywhere. And I’m sorry, this isn’t your problem - you saved me from the… thing and that’s that as far as you’re concerned. I just...” She swallowed again. “It was just if you had someone.”
Tosh’s hands sat on the hand rests, fingers flexing ever so slightly. She had an idea, a mad, stupid idea, and she wanted nothing more than to offer it up, if only to make the poor girl feel a little less alone.
But it couldn’t work. And even if it could, it was a stupid, stupid thing to do. She already knew too much, and if Jack found out -
Tosh licked her lips. “I can give you my number, if you like.”
Carys said nothing.
“If you were upset, or if you had something you needed to get out, you could phone me. I might not always be able to talk to you, but it would be better than nothing.”
“…if you’re sure,” Carys began.
Tosh pulled out her pen and grabbed the napkin that had come with her lasagne and gone unused. “I’m sure.”
When she handed it to her, Carys smiled and folded it away in her purse between a couple of notes.
They talked a little about Carys’ new job and whether either of them had read anything worth reading lately, when Carys realised she needed to get going, and Tosh decided to make similar tracks.
Tosh didn’t hear from Carys again until another three weeks later.
Every now and then, when her computers were loading or when she was stuck in a traffic jam she found herself checking her phone, just to check if there was a text or if she’d missed a call.
The first time Carys rang her the team was sat at the boardroom table, tucking into a Chinese takeaway.
At the sound of the ringtone all the boys turned to Gwen, who, upon realising this shook her head and held up her hands.
“Don’t look at me, I wouldn’t use that ringtone.”
Tosh quietly pulled her phone out and answered. “Hello?”
Jack’s eyebrows shot up. Owen, not taking his eyes off Tosh, snickered and nudged Gwen. Ianto cocked his head, curiosity piqued.
“Hi, it’s me.” Her voice was thick with tears. “I’m sorry. Is this a bad time for you?”
Tosh pushed her chair back. “Not at all, what’s up?” she asked, picking up her take out carton and chopsticks and swiftly exiting the room.
“I’ve just -” She hiccoughed and there was a nasty wet noise, like someone wiping their nose. “I’ve just made a complete idiot of myself, and - oh God.”
Tosh checked her watch. “Where are you?”
“Outside the club - the one where,” Carys broke off, sniffing hard. “There was this bloke trying to - nothing happened, but he was, and I -”
“Hold on,” Tosh said. Pressing her phone against her shoulder she turned and called, “Jack? Do you need me for anything tonight?”
“Nothing I can think of. Unless you want to give me that full body rub,” he added, flashing her a suggestive grin.
Tosh rolled her eyes and put her phone to her ear. “Hang tight. I’m coming to pick you up.”
“Oh, no, wait, I wasn’t -”
Tosh disconnected before Carys could get any further.
When Tosh arrived Carys was huddled on a bench, currently working very hard to ignore a pair of drunken boys who were making loud, leering remarks about her. Upon seeing Tosh she jumped up, leapt into the car and slammed the door behind her.
“You didn’t have to do this,” she said, voice still quavering a little.
“I know. Put your seatbelt on.”
Carys obeyed. “I just had a bit of a freak out, y’know? Nothing actually happened,” she added, throwing Tosh an apologetic look.
Tosh shook her head. “If you were uncomfortable you did the right thing by getting out of the situation.”
“But what if I can’t get back in?” asked Carys. “I’ve been trying to get back to normal for nearly four months now.” She sighed. “I almost don’t want to be able to be there again.”
Tosh bit her tongue, as once again she didn’t have the words and once again was reminded of what a bad idea this was.
“Did you have dinner before you came out?” she asked instead.
Carys shrugged. “Didn’t have time.”
“We’re getting something to eat,” Tosh decided.
Twenty minutes later they were sat either side of a greasy café table, taking turns to stir milk into their tea.
“So,” said Tosh, shaking sugar loose from little paper packets. “What happened exactly?”
“There was this lad,” Carys began, taking a large gulp of tea, “and he asked if I wanted to dance. And I did. So we did.”
Tosh nodded encouragingly. “And then?”
“Then we went to the bar for some drinks, and we went into this corner to talk. And then he,” Carys shifted, twisting one of the empty sugar packets between her fingers. “And then he snogged me.”
Tosh said nothing, waiting for her to go on. Carys swallowed and pulled the sugar packet into a knot, tearing one end.
“I didn’t - I was up for it at first, but when we actually did it, it got a bit… awkward.”
Tosh made a sympathetic noise and, spotting the waitress with Carys’ food, motioned her over.
After a few moments of fussing over cutlery and salt Carys began again. “It was okay for a bit, but then -” She sighed and stuck a couple of chips in her mouth. She swallowed. “It felt worse as it went on, and I tried to get him to stop, but I couldn’t get him off me.”
Carys stuffed another chip in her mouth and Tosh laid a hand on her arm, squeezing. “Then what?”
Carys tried to smile. “I ran off and he called me a slag.”
Tosh snorted. “Stupid little boy.”
Carys’ smile broadened.
“Was this your first time back clubbing?”
Carys shook her head. “No. I had a go, maybe two weeks back? I didn’t stay long.”
Tosh made a start on her tea. “Were you on your own, or…?”
“I was meant to be meeting someone the first time, but she was really late. That’s why I left - she didn’t get there until half an hour after I’d left.”
“And tonight?”
“I wanted to try going in on my own. Just see if I could.”
Tosh grimaced. “Bad idea.”
“Yeah, I get that now,” Carys muttered. She glanced across at Toshiko. “I don’t suppose you -”
“No,” said Tosh, returning to her tea.
“Please? It doesn’t have to be now.”
“Not now, not ever,” said Tosh firmly.
After work the next day Tosh changed in the toilets into her red top with the beading and a pair of uncomfortable but fabulous high-heeled boots, and touched up her make up.
She ran into Ianto almost immediately after leaving the toilets.
“Whoa.” He blinked, looking her up and down. “Sorry, I - you…”
“I know,” said Tosh, easing past him.
“Date?” Ianto asked.
“I wish,” Tosh muttered, adjusting the shoulder of her top. Owen, Gwen and Jack, sniggering over some impression of Owen’s, paused as she passed.
“You look nice, Tosh,” Gwen remarked, the question in her tone obvious.
Tosh set her teeth. “I’m going clubbing.”
Owen laughed. “Wha?”
Jack raised an eyebrow, smiling suggestively. “You’re not getting a life on us, are you, Tosh?”
Tosh chucked a pencil at his head, which he dodged with irritating ease. “I don’t want to go,” she said, pulling her coat on. “I’ve got to go keep a friend company.”
“You have a friend who needs to be kept company clubbing?” asked Gwen.
“You have a friend? What, kidding!” said Owen, raising his hands against the dirty looks Tosh and Gwen threw him.
“Well, have a good time if you can,” said Jack, picking up some folders under the pretence of returning to work.
“I make no promises,” Tosh called over her shoulder on her way out.
“So,” Tosh began, cursing for the umpteenth time the lack alien activity. “You want to -?”
“What?” called Carys, craning forward.
“I said,” Tosh yelled, “did you want to dance?”
“Oh.” Carys shook her head and leant back. “No, I don’t think so. Not just now, anyway.”
Tosh sighed and returned to fiddling with her straw.
“Music’s a bit rubbish, isn’t it?” she called.
Carys wrinkled her nose and nodded. “I can’t stand this band.”
“What kind of music do you like?”
Carys shrugged. “Usual…cheesy pop, some dance music - Cascada have some good tracks.”
Tosh nodded, wondering who the hell Cascada were. “Right.”
The music stopped and Tosh breathed an inward sigh of relief that, for a few seconds at least, she wasn’t going to have to shout herself hoarse, when it started up again just as suddenly and Carys bounced to her feet, letting out a little squeal.
“Oh my God, I love this one! C’mon.”
Tosh just managed to put her drink down before Carys dragged her out of range of the table and spun her around on to the dance floor.
At first Tosh just tried stepping from side to side with the music, but upon realising that Carys seemed to be following some kind of routine she tried, discreetly as possible, to copy what she was doing.
Carys laughed. “Not like that, like this,” she said, grabbing Tosh’s arms and pushing them up over her head, swaying them in time to the beat.
When the song finished Tosh managed to fight her way back to the table to sit down, claiming that she wasn’t used to dancing in these shoes.
Running, jumping, climbing up ropes and fences perhaps, but dancing was a whole other matter.
Carys didn’t seem to mind and, telling Tosh she’d be right back, disappeared into the crowd.
She returned a few moments later and dropped into her seat, beaming from ear to ear.
“Just requested a song,” she informed Tosh. “You have to dance to it.”
Tosh shook her head, laughing uneasily. “I think we have established that I should not dance in public,” she said, returning to her drink. “What did you request?”
“I bet you look good on the dance floor.”
Tosh shook her head again. “No, I told you, I’m really not -”
Carys laughed. “No, that’s the song - “I bet you look good on the dancefloor”. Haven’t you heard it on the radio or anything? Or don’t you get any reception in the bat cave?”
“Oh shut up.”
Carys laughed harder.
“Seriously, though, I didn’t think you were that bad. C’mon, it’s a club, that’s what you do - you dance.”
“And that’s why you’ve been sat here with me the whole night, except for two songs?” asked Tosh.
Carys faltered, then smiled, yanking her shoulders up into a shrug. “I don’t like most of what they’re playing tonight. You know the dance to YMCA, don’t you? You’re not that sheltered from the rest of the world, surely…?”
There was a moment of nothing but over-loud dance music between them as Tosh considered something. Finally she leant forward.
“After you song’s played do you fancy going? Just go down the pub for a bit?”
Carys grinned evilly. “Only if you dance to it.”
“Alright. Fine.”
Carys cheered.
“You’re in early,” Jack remarked, pausing by Toshiko’s work station.
“I’m always in at this time,” said Tosh distractedly, rummaging through the papers on her desk.
Jack “hm-hm”ed to himself. “Clubbing didn’t go so well, huh?”
“No. We ended going down the pub instead.”
That seemed to get Jack. “We?”
Tosh glanced up. “Yeah. Why?”
Jack tilted his head. “Is this a friend or a… friend?”
Tosh smiled, but couldn’t help the eye roll. “A friend.”
Jack straddled the chair next hers. “Have fun?”
“Once we changed to the pub, yeah.” She turned around. “Why do you ask?”
Jack smiled. “No reason.”
“Sure about that?” she asked, thinking about Jack’s little “friends acting out of character” speech he gave her and Mary.
“Well, I like knowing that you’re happy. You’ve got a killer smile.” Tosh, turning a little pink, ducked her head and made a shooing gesture at Jack, who stood, smirking. He leant in and added, “Bet your friend thinks so, too.”
Tosh scowled. “Not everyone feels the need to shag everyone they’re on close terms with, Jack,” she said, probably a little sharper than necessary.
Jack just shrugged and said lightly, “Probably the reason the world’s in the sorry state it’s in.”
The next Thursday Tosh had the day from hell.
“I’m telling you, if it could go wrong, it went wrong!” she exclaimed, brandishing her fork. “First all the glitches in the software - and I don’t how many times I’ve told them about downloading things onto the system - then the scanners go down, and Jack’s there having a fit to me about it, like it’s going to make me go any faster, and then the Weevils got loose -” She shook her head, returning her attention to her pasta. “Fucking awful. What about you?” she added. Across from her, Carys was rather quiet. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to offload so much -”
“It’s fine,” said Carys quickly. “I get why - sounds like you’ve a shit day.”
“Can’t deny I prefer hunting down and subduing Weevils outdoors than from within the confines of the Hub,” said Tosh, taking a drink. “So go on, then, how was your day?”
Carys smirked, picking at her scampi. “I don’t think I can beat that.”
“I want to hear it anyway. C’mon, you know you want to vent,” Tosh said, nudging Carys’ leg with her foot. Carys squirmed.
“It was a bit of weird one,” Carys admitted finally. Glancing around she leant in, dropping her voice. “There was this… person hanging around the manga bit, yeah? And I’m sat there on till, wondering is that a girl or is that a boy? Anyway I decided it was a girl, very boy-ish looking, but y’know - a girl.”
“And?”
Carys pursed her lips. “I was - I don’t know why… I just kept like, watching her. I’ve no idea why.” Carys stopped there, stabbing at a piece of fish. Tosh, waiting for her to go on, made an encouraging gesture. Carys shook her head. Tosh gave her a pointed look and Carys sighed. “I don’t even know why I’m saying it…” she muttered.
“Did you stalk her around the shop?” asked Tosh.
“No!” Carys exclaimed, giving Tosh a light slap on the arm for such a suggestion.
“What then?”
Carys sighed, then cleared her throat. “Thing was, I couldn’t see her very well. She was a bit away from me. Anyway. She moved on to the stationery bit, which is closer to my till.”
“And?”
Carys smiled, seemingly against her will. “It was a boy.”
Tosh let out a shout of laughter, which she covered up with a coughing fit as a few of the restaurant’s other customers glanced their way. “I see,” she managed finally.
Carys shook her head. “You don’t. You really don’t.”
“What?”
“You know I said I couldn’t stop watching her?”
“Yeah?”
“The minute I twigged it was a boy, I wasn’t interested. Well, I was, but not as.”
“Oh.”
“‘Oh’?” Carys echoed. “I’ve just told you about a shattering revelation concerning my sexuality and that’s the best you can do, ‘oh’?”
Tosh couldn’t help laughing “‘Shattering revelation’, don’t talk rubbish! Everyone has those moments every now and again, doesn’t mean you’re gay.”
Carys was quiet. “It’s not the first time. And they’ve been happening more and more lately.”
“Well,” Tosh said carefully. “Even if they do mean anything, it doesn’t change anything.” Carys snorted. “It’s true! You’re still you, whatever you’re kissing.”
“Tell that to my Dad,” Carys muttered, sipping her Coke.
Tosh opened her mouth, then did a double take. “Ah.”
Carys frowned. “What is it?”
Tosh downed the remainder of her drink and wiped her mouth. “I need to go to work.”
Carys turned around in time to see Jack Harkness, complete with a slightly billowing greatcoat (and how was it doing that indoors?).
“Sorry to break up the dinner, girls. Tosh, I need you back at the Hub, the system’s on the fritz again.”
Tosh stared. “You’re kidding.”
“Yeah, I really need you to translate some instructions for me so I can set the video for “Desperate Housewives”.” He looked hopefully from one to the other. “You guys got any breadsticks?”
“Just tartar source. Sorry,” said Carys.
Jack glanced down at her and smiled fixedly. “Sorry for stealing Toshiko. You ready?” he asked, turning to her.
“Just about. I’ll call you later, yeah?”
Carys smiled, giving them both a little wave. “Sure. Good luck with it.”
As the two of them left Tosh noticed Jack frowning. “What is it?”
Jack nodded back at the table. “I know that girl from somewhere, don’t I?”
“Carys Fletcher,” Tosh supplied.
“Er…”
Tosh sighed. “Sex gas girl.”
“Oh yeah.” Jack paused, holding the door open for her. “Didn’t we Retcon her?”
“Never got around to it,” said Tosh.
“So, what did he really drag you away for? Or are they really that lazy about the computing?” Carys didn’t believe in “hello”s on the phone - she believed it was a waste of credit.
Tosh laughed. “They are, but that’s not what I dragged away for.”
“Well?”
Tosh grinned. “I want you to try and imagine this, okay? There was a big jelly-type creature, with a bit of a fetish for cotton polyester.”
“What?!”
“Its natural diet included a lot of fibres that go into making fabric, or so Jack says. Anyway it discovered the joys of cotton polyester mix and went on a binge.” Tosh balanced the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she started stacking the dishes for cleaning. “So we had at least eight people who’d had this big blob attack them, suck them in and then bugger off leaving them half naked.”
At the other end Carys was howling. “Oh God. Just imagine if you guys could write books when you retired, like the politicians. You’d make millions.”
Tosh laughed weakly. “Yeah, maybe. You don’t often make it to retiring age in this job.”
“I can imagine,” Carys remarked.
“I was wondering,” Tosh began. “Did you want to talk anymore about that revelation of yours?”
At the other end of the line Carys grimaced. “I don’t know… it seems daft now that I think about it. Been doing that kind of thing a lot these days, though. Looking at girls instead of boys, I mean. Don’t know what to do about it.”
“Why would you need to do anything about it? Except maybe trying to a find a girlfriend.”
There was a pause from Carys’ end, then she said, “I envy you your job sometimes, you know, that? Whatever’s going on, however mad or out of the way it is, you’ve probably seen at least ten things weirder. It’s just not worth getting worked up about, is it?”
“No, it isn’t. Not if we’re talking about what I think we’re talking about.”
Carys sighed. Then, tentatively she asked, “Have you ever had a girlfriend?”
“Two,” said Tosh, setting the plate she was holding down. She still found it hard to talk about Mary. “The first one was an emotionally abusive, manipulative bitch who caught me at a weak moment and turned out to be a murderer and a wanted criminal on her home planet.”
“You’ve had sex with an alien?” asked Carys, at once scandalised and intrigued.
“Possessing a human body, yes.” She picked at a bit of dirt with a fingernail. “I didn’t know that part the first few times.”
“Sounds awful.”
Tosh nodded, forgetting Carys couldn’t see her. “She used me to get into Torchwood. Very stupid thing to do as it turned out.” She cleared her throat. “Understandably put me off women for a little while,” she added with a watery laugh.
“What about the other one?” asked Carys, sounded hesitant.
Tosh smiled. “Nice lady called Kathy. Human. Detective. Not much of a morning person.”
“What was it like? I mean, obviously it was different from going out with a bloke -”
“Obviously.”
“But… well, how?”
“It was… easier, in some ways. Easier to be yourself. And there are so many things that men - they can understand, but in an abstract way; they have to put themselves in your shoes, and even then they don’t quite get it.”
Carys considered this for a moment. “How come you broke up?”
Tosh sighed, dragging a finger through the washing up bubbles. “It was the job. It always comes down to the job, really. You’ve seen how it eats into anything remotely resembling a social life, and whatever I’m doing I can be called away at a moment’s notice. And Kathy’s in the police so it was all a bit worse for her - as well putting up with all the odd hours she had to put up with us coming in and interrupting her work and the fact that there were a lot of things I couldn’t talk about with her.”
“You talk about stuff with me, though,” Carys pointed out.
“But that’s mostly silly stuff, like the jelly monster. She was happy to hear about them, but she wanted to know about cases we working on, cases that she’d worked for months before we took over them. Much as I loved her there was no way I could talk about them with her. It wasn’t much of a surprise when she decided to call it a day.” Tosh swallowed. “I still miss her sometimes, but we lasted longer together than anyone ever thought we would. That’s something.”
“…you still see her at all? For work I mean?”
“Every now and again. It all stays very professional. I’ve seen her around town a couple of times too. She’s always very nice about it. Anyway, you said you had a story for me the other day, when Jack interrupted. Something about a driving test -?”
Carys howled with laughter. “Oh my God! I can’t believe I forgot to tell you! You know I’m always going on about this mate of mine, Eddie? Well, he was meant to be taking his driving test last week, except it was his cousin’s stag do in Sheffield, and they spent half the night playing “I never”. You’ll never guess where he ended up…”
The next time they met up it was something of a commiseration; Owen, who Carys had gathered Tosh had something of a crush on, nearly got killed in the line of duty, apparently having willingly put himself in the path of danger. Tosh came around to the flat while Carys’ dad was at her uncle’s and they emptied a bottle or two.
“Is he still sleeping with Gwen?” Carys asked, swirling the wine around in her over-sized glass.
Tosh shook her head. “I dunno. Probably not - she didn’t know about Diane, and I can’t see her wanting to carry on with him after that. There again, Gwen tends to be rather… unpredictable. Maybe I just don’t know her well enough.” Tosh sniffed. “Sorry, rambling again, aren’t I? Tend to do that when I’ve had a bit.”
Carys patted her arm clumsily/ “You’ve got something to get off your chest, go for it.”
“Alright, then.” Tosh let her head fall back onto the sofa. “I know I’m far from perfect, but every now and again I just feel like I’m working with idiots and that, combined with the fact that I remain almost constantly a spinster makes me feel depressed and crushingly lonely.” She straightened. “Think that’s everything -”
And suddenly Carys was right there and pressing her lips against Toshiko’s. It was a sweet little kiss on the lips, nothing more and Tosh, intent on keeping it that way, kissed back gently. After a few moments Carys pulled back quickly, looking rather red.
“Sorry, about that,” she mumbled.
“It’s okay,” said Tosh quickly, wiping at the edge of her mouth where her lipgloss had smeared. “I’d prefer if you asked next time, but it’s okay.”
“I’m sorry - I’m a bit drunk and God, I shouldn’t have done that -”
“Carys. Carys, look at me,” Tosh said, taking her hand when she didn’t. “It’s alright. I’m not angry.”
“I’m still sorry,” Carys said, covering her eyes. “God, I can’t believe I did that!”
“Oh, come on. It wasn’t that bad,” said Tosh, grinning. “If you’re interested, I could show you some tongue work.”
Carys let out a mortified shriek of laughter and held up a hand. “I’m alright, thanks, Tosh.”
Tosh shook her head and picked up the wine bottle. “So, does this mean that next time we go clubbing we’ll be scanning the room for a lovely young lady for you?”
“Shut up!” said Carys, whacking her with a cushion.
Following Jack’s return from the dead and John’s return to wherever it was he’d come from, it was decided by Owen that the team should go drinks.
“- because we were working all last night, and there’s a lot has happened since you fucked off.”
“Sounds good,” Ianto said. “Yours is the first round,” he added to Jack.
Jack rolled his eyes in reply, but smiled at Tosh when he caught her looking. “Anything happened with your friend?” he asked quietly.
“Firstly,” said Tosh, she and Jack falling behind as the other three fell into an argument about where they were going to go. “She isn’t, and never has been, a “friend”. She’s a friend. And actually -”
“Hey, Tosh!”
The team all paused. Across the road from them Carys waved and, after checking both ways, darted across, followed by a dark haired girl with a cat-eared hoodie, and tackle-hugged Tosh.
“I haven’t seen you in ages!”
Tosh laughed, hugging her back tightly. “I know. I’m sorry about that - we’ve been having a few problems lately.” She threw Jack a significant look.
Carys drew away sharply. “Is everything alright?”
“Fine now,” Tosh reassured her. “Now, who’s this?” She motioned to the other girl.
Carys grinned, taking Tosh’s hand and dragging her over to the cat-eared girl. “Come meet my girlfriend. Tosh, this is Assumpta. Assumpta, this is Tosh.”
“Who’s this?” Owen muttered, nodding to Carys. “She looks kinda familiar.”
“Carys Fletcher,” said Jack quietly.
“Who?”
Jack rolled his eyes. “Sex gas girl.”
There was a chorus of murmured “Oh, right”s and “Yeah, I remember now.”
Tosh smiled and shook Assumpta’s hand. “Nice to meet you - I’ve heard quite a bit about you.”
Assumpta laughed. “Likewise.” She wrapped her arm around Carys, glowing with pride, and asked, “You guys working or you wanna come have a drink? We were just off down the pub.”
“Sounds good to me.” Tosh linked arms with Carys on the other side. “You guys coming?”
“Sounds good,” said Jack mimicking her and linking arms with Ianto, then making a dramatic arm gesture. “To the pub!”
After much eye-rolling and cringing amongst the team and giggling from Carys and Assumpta, they started off.
“Good to see he’s back,” Carys murmured to Tosh. “How is he?”
“Flirting with villains, getting himself killed in excruciating ways, generally setting a bad example.” Tosh shrugged. “Same old, same old, really.”
A/N: Crappest title EVER. It's all rather rubbish, but to be honest I'm past caring. It was lovely and distracting to write, and I hope someone liked it.
Author: shadowbyrd
Rating: PG - 13
Pairing: Kind of, not quite Tosh/Carys (mentions of Tosh/Mary and Tosh/Kathy)
Word Count: 5515
Summary: A random encounter leads to an unexpected friendship.
“Excuse me, you mind if I sit here?”
“Hm, go ahead.” Tosh didn’t even look up, which was probably a bad idea, but she was in the middle of a thought and if she didn’t get it now it would probably go the way of Coleridge’s Xanadu. In any case, she’d got used to sharing tables in the pub these last few days - there was some kind of business conference or other, complete with lots of busy (or just plain impatient) people in suits full of contempt for the other, more casually dressed lunchtime punters.
Tosh had wondered earlier (no disrespect to Ianto) if this was what Torchwood One was like.
Her new companion sat down quickly, with a rustle of shopping bags and a quiet dull thud of a glass. The executives had nicked all the coasters too.
Then the girl - it was a girl - leant forward and said, “You’re Toshiko, aren’t you?”
Tosh froze mid-word and her other hand drifted down to the phone in her pocket. As soon as she found out where the girl had got her information from she was calling Jack to get down here with the Retcon.
She looked up, armed and ready with a sarcastic remark about the internet, but stopped. Sat opposite her, looking frail, uncertain and a little hopeful was Carys Fletcher.
Tosh blinked and tried to smile. “Yes. I am, yes - how are you?” They never did get around to retconning Carys (which, given recent revelations about their drug of choice, might not be such a bad thing after all); as Owen had said she wasn’t the kind of girl that would go on about it, and even if she did she’d have to tell about how she’d sexed at least eight blokes to death.
“Fine, fine.” She shifted. “Are you working on something?” she asked, glancing at Toshiko’s pad. She made to stand. “If you are I can -”
“No, no, it’s fine,” said Tosh, pushing the paper to one side. “Just had a thought and needed to get it down.” She smiled again, because Carys didn’t look convinced and sipped at her drink, trying to come up with something to say. “How have you been? It’s been what - three months?”
“About that,” said Carys, returning the smile uneasily. “I’ve not been bad.” She swallowed. “I’m working in Waterstones now. Had to leave the fertility clinic, even with you lot erasing the tapes.”
Tosh frowned. “Really? Why?”
“Because Denise still remembered that I punched her in the face and she’s worked there longer than me. Didn’t look too good on my CV, but my cousin knew someone so I got the job.”
“That’s something,” Tosh remarked with a nod. It was strange talking with someone you’d helped rescue from possession by a gaseous alien being as though they were someone you had just got talking to at the bus stop one day. Especially when you hadn’t had much part in the saving.
Carys, turning her glass between a thumb and finger, seemed of a mind. “I’m probably bothering you - I just wanted to say “thanks” again. I mean, if you lot hadn’t gotten to me - I only really said thank you to Gwen and to Jack. Not really fair on the rest of you.”
Tosh laughed at that. “Trust me,” she said, a hand laying on Carys’ arm for a moment, “we don’t do it for the thank yous and the fanfare.”
“Doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it,” Carys told her, finally having a drink.
Tosh sat back and picked up her pen, looking down to hide the smirk. “You’re too kind.” The smile slipped and fell away. “We’re not always so lucky.”
Carys drank and Tosh finished her note-to-self in the margin. Around them men laughed, the fruit machine whirred and trilled and suits talked business.
As Tosh capped her pen Carys set her glass down and leant forward again. “How come you haven’t tried to censor me?” Her voice dropped. “I mean you lot - top secret organisation, aliens and all that. None of you even gave the “don’t go to the papers” lark.”
Tosh paused before answering, tucking her pen and notebook away into her bag as she thought what to say. Truth was she’d slipped their minds - one of those get-round-to-it jobs that never got done and when you finally had the time they didn’t seem necessary.
“What you went through was… invasive. Traumatic. Even if you were the type to use this to your advantage, there aren’t many who would be able to understand what had happened to you.” Tosh glanced up at her. “Basically we took a chance on you wanting to overcome it rather than let it overshadow you. If that makes any sense.”
Carys nodded absently, tucking her hair behind her ears. “That - that’s another reason I came over.”
Tosh tilted her head, hand drifting back to her pocket.
Carys cleared her throat. “I was wondering if there’s anyone you all talk to. To deal with what you do. Like a psychiatrist or a therapist or something.”
Therapist. Now there was an idea. She’d have to bring it up next time Ianto started making pointed noises at Jack over the budget.
“We don’t have anyone official. Mostly we just talk amongst ourselves, try and get each other through it.”
“Oh.” Carys’ face fell. “Okay. It was just if there was someone -Dad’s had me going to see a counsellor, and she’s lovely but - I have to keep making stuff up. Say it was drugs or whatever, and then that becomes the focus of it all and we have to spend session after session going over that and -” She stopped for a moment, sheer frustration getting the better of her. “I can’t get anywhere. And I’m sorry, this isn’t your problem - you saved me from the… thing and that’s that as far as you’re concerned. I just...” She swallowed again. “It was just if you had someone.”
Tosh’s hands sat on the hand rests, fingers flexing ever so slightly. She had an idea, a mad, stupid idea, and she wanted nothing more than to offer it up, if only to make the poor girl feel a little less alone.
But it couldn’t work. And even if it could, it was a stupid, stupid thing to do. She already knew too much, and if Jack found out -
Tosh licked her lips. “I can give you my number, if you like.”
Carys said nothing.
“If you were upset, or if you had something you needed to get out, you could phone me. I might not always be able to talk to you, but it would be better than nothing.”
“…if you’re sure,” Carys began.
Tosh pulled out her pen and grabbed the napkin that had come with her lasagne and gone unused. “I’m sure.”
When she handed it to her, Carys smiled and folded it away in her purse between a couple of notes.
They talked a little about Carys’ new job and whether either of them had read anything worth reading lately, when Carys realised she needed to get going, and Tosh decided to make similar tracks.
Tosh didn’t hear from Carys again until another three weeks later.
Every now and then, when her computers were loading or when she was stuck in a traffic jam she found herself checking her phone, just to check if there was a text or if she’d missed a call.
The first time Carys rang her the team was sat at the boardroom table, tucking into a Chinese takeaway.
At the sound of the ringtone all the boys turned to Gwen, who, upon realising this shook her head and held up her hands.
“Don’t look at me, I wouldn’t use that ringtone.”
Tosh quietly pulled her phone out and answered. “Hello?”
Jack’s eyebrows shot up. Owen, not taking his eyes off Tosh, snickered and nudged Gwen. Ianto cocked his head, curiosity piqued.
“Hi, it’s me.” Her voice was thick with tears. “I’m sorry. Is this a bad time for you?”
Tosh pushed her chair back. “Not at all, what’s up?” she asked, picking up her take out carton and chopsticks and swiftly exiting the room.
“I’ve just -” She hiccoughed and there was a nasty wet noise, like someone wiping their nose. “I’ve just made a complete idiot of myself, and - oh God.”
Tosh checked her watch. “Where are you?”
“Outside the club - the one where,” Carys broke off, sniffing hard. “There was this bloke trying to - nothing happened, but he was, and I -”
“Hold on,” Tosh said. Pressing her phone against her shoulder she turned and called, “Jack? Do you need me for anything tonight?”
“Nothing I can think of. Unless you want to give me that full body rub,” he added, flashing her a suggestive grin.
Tosh rolled her eyes and put her phone to her ear. “Hang tight. I’m coming to pick you up.”
“Oh, no, wait, I wasn’t -”
Tosh disconnected before Carys could get any further.
When Tosh arrived Carys was huddled on a bench, currently working very hard to ignore a pair of drunken boys who were making loud, leering remarks about her. Upon seeing Tosh she jumped up, leapt into the car and slammed the door behind her.
“You didn’t have to do this,” she said, voice still quavering a little.
“I know. Put your seatbelt on.”
Carys obeyed. “I just had a bit of a freak out, y’know? Nothing actually happened,” she added, throwing Tosh an apologetic look.
Tosh shook her head. “If you were uncomfortable you did the right thing by getting out of the situation.”
“But what if I can’t get back in?” asked Carys. “I’ve been trying to get back to normal for nearly four months now.” She sighed. “I almost don’t want to be able to be there again.”
Tosh bit her tongue, as once again she didn’t have the words and once again was reminded of what a bad idea this was.
“Did you have dinner before you came out?” she asked instead.
Carys shrugged. “Didn’t have time.”
“We’re getting something to eat,” Tosh decided.
Twenty minutes later they were sat either side of a greasy café table, taking turns to stir milk into their tea.
“So,” said Tosh, shaking sugar loose from little paper packets. “What happened exactly?”
“There was this lad,” Carys began, taking a large gulp of tea, “and he asked if I wanted to dance. And I did. So we did.”
Tosh nodded encouragingly. “And then?”
“Then we went to the bar for some drinks, and we went into this corner to talk. And then he,” Carys shifted, twisting one of the empty sugar packets between her fingers. “And then he snogged me.”
Tosh said nothing, waiting for her to go on. Carys swallowed and pulled the sugar packet into a knot, tearing one end.
“I didn’t - I was up for it at first, but when we actually did it, it got a bit… awkward.”
Tosh made a sympathetic noise and, spotting the waitress with Carys’ food, motioned her over.
After a few moments of fussing over cutlery and salt Carys began again. “It was okay for a bit, but then -” She sighed and stuck a couple of chips in her mouth. She swallowed. “It felt worse as it went on, and I tried to get him to stop, but I couldn’t get him off me.”
Carys stuffed another chip in her mouth and Tosh laid a hand on her arm, squeezing. “Then what?”
Carys tried to smile. “I ran off and he called me a slag.”
Tosh snorted. “Stupid little boy.”
Carys’ smile broadened.
“Was this your first time back clubbing?”
Carys shook her head. “No. I had a go, maybe two weeks back? I didn’t stay long.”
Tosh made a start on her tea. “Were you on your own, or…?”
“I was meant to be meeting someone the first time, but she was really late. That’s why I left - she didn’t get there until half an hour after I’d left.”
“And tonight?”
“I wanted to try going in on my own. Just see if I could.”
Tosh grimaced. “Bad idea.”
“Yeah, I get that now,” Carys muttered. She glanced across at Toshiko. “I don’t suppose you -”
“No,” said Tosh, returning to her tea.
“Please? It doesn’t have to be now.”
“Not now, not ever,” said Tosh firmly.
After work the next day Tosh changed in the toilets into her red top with the beading and a pair of uncomfortable but fabulous high-heeled boots, and touched up her make up.
She ran into Ianto almost immediately after leaving the toilets.
“Whoa.” He blinked, looking her up and down. “Sorry, I - you…”
“I know,” said Tosh, easing past him.
“Date?” Ianto asked.
“I wish,” Tosh muttered, adjusting the shoulder of her top. Owen, Gwen and Jack, sniggering over some impression of Owen’s, paused as she passed.
“You look nice, Tosh,” Gwen remarked, the question in her tone obvious.
Tosh set her teeth. “I’m going clubbing.”
Owen laughed. “Wha?”
Jack raised an eyebrow, smiling suggestively. “You’re not getting a life on us, are you, Tosh?”
Tosh chucked a pencil at his head, which he dodged with irritating ease. “I don’t want to go,” she said, pulling her coat on. “I’ve got to go keep a friend company.”
“You have a friend who needs to be kept company clubbing?” asked Gwen.
“You have a friend? What, kidding!” said Owen, raising his hands against the dirty looks Tosh and Gwen threw him.
“Well, have a good time if you can,” said Jack, picking up some folders under the pretence of returning to work.
“I make no promises,” Tosh called over her shoulder on her way out.
“So,” Tosh began, cursing for the umpteenth time the lack alien activity. “You want to -?”
“What?” called Carys, craning forward.
“I said,” Tosh yelled, “did you want to dance?”
“Oh.” Carys shook her head and leant back. “No, I don’t think so. Not just now, anyway.”
Tosh sighed and returned to fiddling with her straw.
“Music’s a bit rubbish, isn’t it?” she called.
Carys wrinkled her nose and nodded. “I can’t stand this band.”
“What kind of music do you like?”
Carys shrugged. “Usual…cheesy pop, some dance music - Cascada have some good tracks.”
Tosh nodded, wondering who the hell Cascada were. “Right.”
The music stopped and Tosh breathed an inward sigh of relief that, for a few seconds at least, she wasn’t going to have to shout herself hoarse, when it started up again just as suddenly and Carys bounced to her feet, letting out a little squeal.
“Oh my God, I love this one! C’mon.”
Tosh just managed to put her drink down before Carys dragged her out of range of the table and spun her around on to the dance floor.
At first Tosh just tried stepping from side to side with the music, but upon realising that Carys seemed to be following some kind of routine she tried, discreetly as possible, to copy what she was doing.
Carys laughed. “Not like that, like this,” she said, grabbing Tosh’s arms and pushing them up over her head, swaying them in time to the beat.
When the song finished Tosh managed to fight her way back to the table to sit down, claiming that she wasn’t used to dancing in these shoes.
Running, jumping, climbing up ropes and fences perhaps, but dancing was a whole other matter.
Carys didn’t seem to mind and, telling Tosh she’d be right back, disappeared into the crowd.
She returned a few moments later and dropped into her seat, beaming from ear to ear.
“Just requested a song,” she informed Tosh. “You have to dance to it.”
Tosh shook her head, laughing uneasily. “I think we have established that I should not dance in public,” she said, returning to her drink. “What did you request?”
“I bet you look good on the dance floor.”
Tosh shook her head again. “No, I told you, I’m really not -”
Carys laughed. “No, that’s the song - “I bet you look good on the dancefloor”. Haven’t you heard it on the radio or anything? Or don’t you get any reception in the bat cave?”
“Oh shut up.”
Carys laughed harder.
“Seriously, though, I didn’t think you were that bad. C’mon, it’s a club, that’s what you do - you dance.”
“And that’s why you’ve been sat here with me the whole night, except for two songs?” asked Tosh.
Carys faltered, then smiled, yanking her shoulders up into a shrug. “I don’t like most of what they’re playing tonight. You know the dance to YMCA, don’t you? You’re not that sheltered from the rest of the world, surely…?”
There was a moment of nothing but over-loud dance music between them as Tosh considered something. Finally she leant forward.
“After you song’s played do you fancy going? Just go down the pub for a bit?”
Carys grinned evilly. “Only if you dance to it.”
“Alright. Fine.”
Carys cheered.
“You’re in early,” Jack remarked, pausing by Toshiko’s work station.
“I’m always in at this time,” said Tosh distractedly, rummaging through the papers on her desk.
Jack “hm-hm”ed to himself. “Clubbing didn’t go so well, huh?”
“No. We ended going down the pub instead.”
That seemed to get Jack. “We?”
Tosh glanced up. “Yeah. Why?”
Jack tilted his head. “Is this a friend or a… friend?”
Tosh smiled, but couldn’t help the eye roll. “A friend.”
Jack straddled the chair next hers. “Have fun?”
“Once we changed to the pub, yeah.” She turned around. “Why do you ask?”
Jack smiled. “No reason.”
“Sure about that?” she asked, thinking about Jack’s little “friends acting out of character” speech he gave her and Mary.
“Well, I like knowing that you’re happy. You’ve got a killer smile.” Tosh, turning a little pink, ducked her head and made a shooing gesture at Jack, who stood, smirking. He leant in and added, “Bet your friend thinks so, too.”
Tosh scowled. “Not everyone feels the need to shag everyone they’re on close terms with, Jack,” she said, probably a little sharper than necessary.
Jack just shrugged and said lightly, “Probably the reason the world’s in the sorry state it’s in.”
The next Thursday Tosh had the day from hell.
“I’m telling you, if it could go wrong, it went wrong!” she exclaimed, brandishing her fork. “First all the glitches in the software - and I don’t how many times I’ve told them about downloading things onto the system - then the scanners go down, and Jack’s there having a fit to me about it, like it’s going to make me go any faster, and then the Weevils got loose -” She shook her head, returning her attention to her pasta. “Fucking awful. What about you?” she added. Across from her, Carys was rather quiet. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to offload so much -”
“It’s fine,” said Carys quickly. “I get why - sounds like you’ve a shit day.”
“Can’t deny I prefer hunting down and subduing Weevils outdoors than from within the confines of the Hub,” said Tosh, taking a drink. “So go on, then, how was your day?”
Carys smirked, picking at her scampi. “I don’t think I can beat that.”
“I want to hear it anyway. C’mon, you know you want to vent,” Tosh said, nudging Carys’ leg with her foot. Carys squirmed.
“It was a bit of weird one,” Carys admitted finally. Glancing around she leant in, dropping her voice. “There was this… person hanging around the manga bit, yeah? And I’m sat there on till, wondering is that a girl or is that a boy? Anyway I decided it was a girl, very boy-ish looking, but y’know - a girl.”
“And?”
Carys pursed her lips. “I was - I don’t know why… I just kept like, watching her. I’ve no idea why.” Carys stopped there, stabbing at a piece of fish. Tosh, waiting for her to go on, made an encouraging gesture. Carys shook her head. Tosh gave her a pointed look and Carys sighed. “I don’t even know why I’m saying it…” she muttered.
“Did you stalk her around the shop?” asked Tosh.
“No!” Carys exclaimed, giving Tosh a light slap on the arm for such a suggestion.
“What then?”
Carys sighed, then cleared her throat. “Thing was, I couldn’t see her very well. She was a bit away from me. Anyway. She moved on to the stationery bit, which is closer to my till.”
“And?”
Carys smiled, seemingly against her will. “It was a boy.”
Tosh let out a shout of laughter, which she covered up with a coughing fit as a few of the restaurant’s other customers glanced their way. “I see,” she managed finally.
Carys shook her head. “You don’t. You really don’t.”
“What?”
“You know I said I couldn’t stop watching her?”
“Yeah?”
“The minute I twigged it was a boy, I wasn’t interested. Well, I was, but not as.”
“Oh.”
“‘Oh’?” Carys echoed. “I’ve just told you about a shattering revelation concerning my sexuality and that’s the best you can do, ‘oh’?”
Tosh couldn’t help laughing “‘Shattering revelation’, don’t talk rubbish! Everyone has those moments every now and again, doesn’t mean you’re gay.”
Carys was quiet. “It’s not the first time. And they’ve been happening more and more lately.”
“Well,” Tosh said carefully. “Even if they do mean anything, it doesn’t change anything.” Carys snorted. “It’s true! You’re still you, whatever you’re kissing.”
“Tell that to my Dad,” Carys muttered, sipping her Coke.
Tosh opened her mouth, then did a double take. “Ah.”
Carys frowned. “What is it?”
Tosh downed the remainder of her drink and wiped her mouth. “I need to go to work.”
Carys turned around in time to see Jack Harkness, complete with a slightly billowing greatcoat (and how was it doing that indoors?).
“Sorry to break up the dinner, girls. Tosh, I need you back at the Hub, the system’s on the fritz again.”
Tosh stared. “You’re kidding.”
“Yeah, I really need you to translate some instructions for me so I can set the video for “Desperate Housewives”.” He looked hopefully from one to the other. “You guys got any breadsticks?”
“Just tartar source. Sorry,” said Carys.
Jack glanced down at her and smiled fixedly. “Sorry for stealing Toshiko. You ready?” he asked, turning to her.
“Just about. I’ll call you later, yeah?”
Carys smiled, giving them both a little wave. “Sure. Good luck with it.”
As the two of them left Tosh noticed Jack frowning. “What is it?”
Jack nodded back at the table. “I know that girl from somewhere, don’t I?”
“Carys Fletcher,” Tosh supplied.
“Er…”
Tosh sighed. “Sex gas girl.”
“Oh yeah.” Jack paused, holding the door open for her. “Didn’t we Retcon her?”
“Never got around to it,” said Tosh.
“So, what did he really drag you away for? Or are they really that lazy about the computing?” Carys didn’t believe in “hello”s on the phone - she believed it was a waste of credit.
Tosh laughed. “They are, but that’s not what I dragged away for.”
“Well?”
Tosh grinned. “I want you to try and imagine this, okay? There was a big jelly-type creature, with a bit of a fetish for cotton polyester.”
“What?!”
“Its natural diet included a lot of fibres that go into making fabric, or so Jack says. Anyway it discovered the joys of cotton polyester mix and went on a binge.” Tosh balanced the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she started stacking the dishes for cleaning. “So we had at least eight people who’d had this big blob attack them, suck them in and then bugger off leaving them half naked.”
At the other end Carys was howling. “Oh God. Just imagine if you guys could write books when you retired, like the politicians. You’d make millions.”
Tosh laughed weakly. “Yeah, maybe. You don’t often make it to retiring age in this job.”
“I can imagine,” Carys remarked.
“I was wondering,” Tosh began. “Did you want to talk anymore about that revelation of yours?”
At the other end of the line Carys grimaced. “I don’t know… it seems daft now that I think about it. Been doing that kind of thing a lot these days, though. Looking at girls instead of boys, I mean. Don’t know what to do about it.”
“Why would you need to do anything about it? Except maybe trying to a find a girlfriend.”
There was a pause from Carys’ end, then she said, “I envy you your job sometimes, you know, that? Whatever’s going on, however mad or out of the way it is, you’ve probably seen at least ten things weirder. It’s just not worth getting worked up about, is it?”
“No, it isn’t. Not if we’re talking about what I think we’re talking about.”
Carys sighed. Then, tentatively she asked, “Have you ever had a girlfriend?”
“Two,” said Tosh, setting the plate she was holding down. She still found it hard to talk about Mary. “The first one was an emotionally abusive, manipulative bitch who caught me at a weak moment and turned out to be a murderer and a wanted criminal on her home planet.”
“You’ve had sex with an alien?” asked Carys, at once scandalised and intrigued.
“Possessing a human body, yes.” She picked at a bit of dirt with a fingernail. “I didn’t know that part the first few times.”
“Sounds awful.”
Tosh nodded, forgetting Carys couldn’t see her. “She used me to get into Torchwood. Very stupid thing to do as it turned out.” She cleared her throat. “Understandably put me off women for a little while,” she added with a watery laugh.
“What about the other one?” asked Carys, sounded hesitant.
Tosh smiled. “Nice lady called Kathy. Human. Detective. Not much of a morning person.”
“What was it like? I mean, obviously it was different from going out with a bloke -”
“Obviously.”
“But… well, how?”
“It was… easier, in some ways. Easier to be yourself. And there are so many things that men - they can understand, but in an abstract way; they have to put themselves in your shoes, and even then they don’t quite get it.”
Carys considered this for a moment. “How come you broke up?”
Tosh sighed, dragging a finger through the washing up bubbles. “It was the job. It always comes down to the job, really. You’ve seen how it eats into anything remotely resembling a social life, and whatever I’m doing I can be called away at a moment’s notice. And Kathy’s in the police so it was all a bit worse for her - as well putting up with all the odd hours she had to put up with us coming in and interrupting her work and the fact that there were a lot of things I couldn’t talk about with her.”
“You talk about stuff with me, though,” Carys pointed out.
“But that’s mostly silly stuff, like the jelly monster. She was happy to hear about them, but she wanted to know about cases we working on, cases that she’d worked for months before we took over them. Much as I loved her there was no way I could talk about them with her. It wasn’t much of a surprise when she decided to call it a day.” Tosh swallowed. “I still miss her sometimes, but we lasted longer together than anyone ever thought we would. That’s something.”
“…you still see her at all? For work I mean?”
“Every now and again. It all stays very professional. I’ve seen her around town a couple of times too. She’s always very nice about it. Anyway, you said you had a story for me the other day, when Jack interrupted. Something about a driving test -?”
Carys howled with laughter. “Oh my God! I can’t believe I forgot to tell you! You know I’m always going on about this mate of mine, Eddie? Well, he was meant to be taking his driving test last week, except it was his cousin’s stag do in Sheffield, and they spent half the night playing “I never”. You’ll never guess where he ended up…”
The next time they met up it was something of a commiseration; Owen, who Carys had gathered Tosh had something of a crush on, nearly got killed in the line of duty, apparently having willingly put himself in the path of danger. Tosh came around to the flat while Carys’ dad was at her uncle’s and they emptied a bottle or two.
“Is he still sleeping with Gwen?” Carys asked, swirling the wine around in her over-sized glass.
Tosh shook her head. “I dunno. Probably not - she didn’t know about Diane, and I can’t see her wanting to carry on with him after that. There again, Gwen tends to be rather… unpredictable. Maybe I just don’t know her well enough.” Tosh sniffed. “Sorry, rambling again, aren’t I? Tend to do that when I’ve had a bit.”
Carys patted her arm clumsily/ “You’ve got something to get off your chest, go for it.”
“Alright, then.” Tosh let her head fall back onto the sofa. “I know I’m far from perfect, but every now and again I just feel like I’m working with idiots and that, combined with the fact that I remain almost constantly a spinster makes me feel depressed and crushingly lonely.” She straightened. “Think that’s everything -”
And suddenly Carys was right there and pressing her lips against Toshiko’s. It was a sweet little kiss on the lips, nothing more and Tosh, intent on keeping it that way, kissed back gently. After a few moments Carys pulled back quickly, looking rather red.
“Sorry, about that,” she mumbled.
“It’s okay,” said Tosh quickly, wiping at the edge of her mouth where her lipgloss had smeared. “I’d prefer if you asked next time, but it’s okay.”
“I’m sorry - I’m a bit drunk and God, I shouldn’t have done that -”
“Carys. Carys, look at me,” Tosh said, taking her hand when she didn’t. “It’s alright. I’m not angry.”
“I’m still sorry,” Carys said, covering her eyes. “God, I can’t believe I did that!”
“Oh, come on. It wasn’t that bad,” said Tosh, grinning. “If you’re interested, I could show you some tongue work.”
Carys let out a mortified shriek of laughter and held up a hand. “I’m alright, thanks, Tosh.”
Tosh shook her head and picked up the wine bottle. “So, does this mean that next time we go clubbing we’ll be scanning the room for a lovely young lady for you?”
“Shut up!” said Carys, whacking her with a cushion.
Following Jack’s return from the dead and John’s return to wherever it was he’d come from, it was decided by Owen that the team should go drinks.
“- because we were working all last night, and there’s a lot has happened since you fucked off.”
“Sounds good,” Ianto said. “Yours is the first round,” he added to Jack.
Jack rolled his eyes in reply, but smiled at Tosh when he caught her looking. “Anything happened with your friend?” he asked quietly.
“Firstly,” said Tosh, she and Jack falling behind as the other three fell into an argument about where they were going to go. “She isn’t, and never has been, a “friend”. She’s a friend. And actually -”
“Hey, Tosh!”
The team all paused. Across the road from them Carys waved and, after checking both ways, darted across, followed by a dark haired girl with a cat-eared hoodie, and tackle-hugged Tosh.
“I haven’t seen you in ages!”
Tosh laughed, hugging her back tightly. “I know. I’m sorry about that - we’ve been having a few problems lately.” She threw Jack a significant look.
Carys drew away sharply. “Is everything alright?”
“Fine now,” Tosh reassured her. “Now, who’s this?” She motioned to the other girl.
Carys grinned, taking Tosh’s hand and dragging her over to the cat-eared girl. “Come meet my girlfriend. Tosh, this is Assumpta. Assumpta, this is Tosh.”
“Who’s this?” Owen muttered, nodding to Carys. “She looks kinda familiar.”
“Carys Fletcher,” said Jack quietly.
“Who?”
Jack rolled his eyes. “Sex gas girl.”
There was a chorus of murmured “Oh, right”s and “Yeah, I remember now.”
Tosh smiled and shook Assumpta’s hand. “Nice to meet you - I’ve heard quite a bit about you.”
Assumpta laughed. “Likewise.” She wrapped her arm around Carys, glowing with pride, and asked, “You guys working or you wanna come have a drink? We were just off down the pub.”
“Sounds good to me.” Tosh linked arms with Carys on the other side. “You guys coming?”
“Sounds good,” said Jack mimicking her and linking arms with Ianto, then making a dramatic arm gesture. “To the pub!”
After much eye-rolling and cringing amongst the team and giggling from Carys and Assumpta, they started off.
“Good to see he’s back,” Carys murmured to Tosh. “How is he?”
“Flirting with villains, getting himself killed in excruciating ways, generally setting a bad example.” Tosh shrugged. “Same old, same old, really.”
A/N: Crappest title EVER. It's all rather rubbish, but to be honest I'm past caring. It was lovely and distracting to write, and I hope someone liked it.