Several things you may not know about Brian:
1) To say I am paranoid would be an understatement, although the paranoia I suffer from is rather unique. Most paranoids are convinced that everybody is out to do them harm. My paranoia is not that omnidirectional, but rather focused to only encompass the bad elements of nature. I am convinced that at any time, criminals of any flavor are going to break into my house to rob, rape, steal, and murder. To that end I tend to be armed whenever I am not at work, I have to clear the entire house after I return from being away (unless the princess or the roommate are already there, in which case their continued life is evidence enough of it being safe.) I will wake up for the slightest noise inside the house, but especially any noise outside which I am convinced is somebody trying to break in.
The neuroses doesn’t end there. I then begin to worry insistently about what will happen after I shoot and kill any would be intruder. About how I am going to pay for defense lawyers in the event the cops and/or the DA are assholes and decide to press charges for a homeowner trying to prevent his wife-to-be from being beaten, raped and/or murdered. I worry about how my sexy ass is going to survive in prison and all the nasty things that go along with being IN a prison. I’ve had to stop watching all the geographic specials about jail, maximum security penitentiaries, and “life inside” because it just gets me all worked up. Thankfully, after deciding to get my concealed carry permit I came to terms about having to face the possibility of taking a life to defend my own or the Princess, and at the risk of sounding all John Wayne macho testosterone. . . I know I will if it ever comes to that. It’s just all the crap that happens afterwards that makes me all neurotic.
2) I want children in the worst way. Whenever the princess and I are watching TV or are out in public and we see a baby, I give her a dirty look as if to say “Why are we having a baby.” Or I’ll get all wide eyed when we see a baby on TV and then turn to her and say “I want BABY!” At times this attitude actually surprises me as if you had asked me about having kids 10 years ago, I would have said no way. As I’ve gotten older the thought of it is actually appealing. In some ways I think that it is that last final step for me to take to finally admit to myself that yes indeed. . .I am a grown up. Not to say that people without kids aren’t a grown up, it’s just one of those odd factors that I’ve always defined myself by. I intend to have 3 boys who I can wrestle with, teach how to do cool guy stuff and as they get older teach them all the key essentials in life like “pull my finger.”
3) I tend to carry grudges for a long time. . .as in forever. There are several people from previous groups of friends who I will never have anything to do with again. Most people would be civil should they cross paths with them, and then go right back to letting the hatred continue. To me that would be a waste of time. They wouldn’t even get an acknowledgement from me, as I would simply keep on walking. It’s extreme granted, but the perceived transgression is great enough to me that I don’t find the need to even acknowledge them. A select few individuals have managed to gain the impressive “Dead to me” status. . .where I don’t even acknowledge that they have ever lived. All evidence of them existing in my life are removed and should their names even be brought up in passing, I won’t show any recognition. The princess hates that I have the ability to simply cut people out of my life as you would a malignant cancerous growth. My explanation to her is that if I am wronged, I don’t see the need to play or pretend that everything is simply copasetic. I remove them from my life and any consideration, and go on living my own life. To have “hate” for them is allowing them to live rent-free in my existence, which I am against. I would offer to provide a count of those people who fit into this category for me. . .but sadly they don’t exist!
4) I don’t like watching movies that are subtitled. Unless the movie has the option to watch it dubbed in English, I don’t bother. I dislike “reading my movies.” This has led me to miss out on what I hear were some really great foreign flicks. Sadly my attention span is not great enough to both watch AND read at the same time.
5) Loath as I am to admit such. . .I may in fact be A.D.D. The Princess was the first to pick up on this, but I have a habit of fiddling around while we watch television. I’ll pick stray carpet fibers while we’re watching a movie or a television program. I’ll rub my hands across to carpet to get all the stray cat hairs picked up when I could just as easily vacuum. Long ago the princess suggested that I get a hobby for me to keep busy with while the TV is on. This led into my collection of silver bars and coins which I could polish while we watch TV. I’ll trade that up with cleaning and taking apart firearms every so often, but if nothing else is available, its making sure the carpet is clean.
6) I dislike attending any theater showing of movies. I’ve covered this before, but it bears repeating. People today simply do not know how to act in a movie theater. They talk, they have active cell phones, beeping digital watches, they figit, kick seats, verbally transcribe movie dialogue in languages not native to America , it drive me up a fricken wall. As such and to spare me the slow burn to insanity. . .I opt to wait for movies to come out on DVD. This means I tend to miss movies I very much want to see, such as the new resident evil movie or the yet to be named J.J. Abrams movie.
The neuroses doesn’t end there. I then begin to worry insistently about what will happen after I shoot and kill any would be intruder. About how I am going to pay for defense lawyers in the event the cops and/or the DA are assholes and decide to press charges for a homeowner trying to prevent his wife-to-be from being beaten, raped and/or murdered. I worry about how my sexy ass is going to survive in prison and all the nasty things that go along with being IN a prison. I’ve had to stop watching all the geographic specials about jail, maximum security penitentiaries, and “life inside” because it just gets me all worked up. Thankfully, after deciding to get my concealed carry permit I came to terms about having to face the possibility of taking a life to defend my own or the Princess, and at the risk of sounding all John Wayne macho testosterone. . . I know I will if it ever comes to that. It’s just all the crap that happens afterwards that makes me all neurotic.
2) I want children in the worst way. Whenever the princess and I are watching TV or are out in public and we see a baby, I give her a dirty look as if to say “Why are we having a baby.” Or I’ll get all wide eyed when we see a baby on TV and then turn to her and say “I want BABY!” At times this attitude actually surprises me as if you had asked me about having kids 10 years ago, I would have said no way. As I’ve gotten older the thought of it is actually appealing. In some ways I think that it is that last final step for me to take to finally admit to myself that yes indeed. . .I am a grown up. Not to say that people without kids aren’t a grown up, it’s just one of those odd factors that I’ve always defined myself by. I intend to have 3 boys who I can wrestle with, teach how to do cool guy stuff and as they get older teach them all the key essentials in life like “pull my finger.”
3) I tend to carry grudges for a long time. . .as in forever. There are several people from previous groups of friends who I will never have anything to do with again. Most people would be civil should they cross paths with them, and then go right back to letting the hatred continue. To me that would be a waste of time. They wouldn’t even get an acknowledgement from me, as I would simply keep on walking. It’s extreme granted, but the perceived transgression is great enough to me that I don’t find the need to even acknowledge them. A select few individuals have managed to gain the impressive “Dead to me” status. . .where I don’t even acknowledge that they have ever lived. All evidence of them existing in my life are removed and should their names even be brought up in passing, I won’t show any recognition. The princess hates that I have the ability to simply cut people out of my life as you would a malignant cancerous growth. My explanation to her is that if I am wronged, I don’t see the need to play or pretend that everything is simply copasetic. I remove them from my life and any consideration, and go on living my own life. To have “hate” for them is allowing them to live rent-free in my existence, which I am against. I would offer to provide a count of those people who fit into this category for me. . .but sadly they don’t exist!
4) I don’t like watching movies that are subtitled. Unless the movie has the option to watch it dubbed in English, I don’t bother. I dislike “reading my movies.” This has led me to miss out on what I hear were some really great foreign flicks. Sadly my attention span is not great enough to both watch AND read at the same time.
5) Loath as I am to admit such. . .I may in fact be A.D.D. The Princess was the first to pick up on this, but I have a habit of fiddling around while we watch television. I’ll pick stray carpet fibers while we’re watching a movie or a television program. I’ll rub my hands across to carpet to get all the stray cat hairs picked up when I could just as easily vacuum. Long ago the princess suggested that I get a hobby for me to keep busy with while the TV is on. This led into my collection of silver bars and coins which I could polish while we watch TV. I’ll trade that up with cleaning and taking apart firearms every so often, but if nothing else is available, its making sure the carpet is clean.
6) I dislike attending any theater showing of movies. I’ve covered this before, but it bears repeating. People today simply do not know how to act in a movie theater. They talk, they have active cell phones, beeping digital watches, they figit, kick seats, verbally transcribe movie dialogue in languages not native to America , it drive me up a fricken wall. As such and to spare me the slow burn to insanity. . .I opt to wait for movies to come out on DVD. This means I tend to miss movies I very much want to see, such as the new resident evil movie or the yet to be named J.J. Abrams movie.