Self-Absorbed Priestess is Self-Absorbed
In doing my discernment on the topic I posted about yesterday under a friends lock, my entire focus has been about me. Would this be good for me? was my primary question.
It is important, crucial even, to be attentive to one's own needs and welfare -- but when doing discernment about a choice that will have an impact on many people besides one's self, the question What impact would my saying yes or no have on the group? should also be asked.
I've been wrestling with this question for several weeks now, and this is the first time I thought to ask about the welfare of the group in addition to my own. That's sobering.
A priestess serves.
The form of that service is different for everyone.
This isn't about what's comfortable for me. It's about what the gods may be asking of me and how I can serve my community in an area I'm passionate about.
I've always been more than a little inward-focused, and the last four years have not helped in that regard. I think it's likely that I'm now being called to break out of that inward focus. That transition is likely to be awkward, even painful, but I work for Ereshkigal. The timing of this offer, coming very shortly after my Beltane initiation, is also significant. That in and of itself is a powerful suggestion that the gods are ready to move me out of my grief focus and deeper into life again.
Which is something I've been praying for.
I am held back primarily by my own fears of inadequacy, of letting down the group.
I don't get the sense that Ereshkigal finds that very convincing.
It is important, crucial even, to be attentive to one's own needs and welfare -- but when doing discernment about a choice that will have an impact on many people besides one's self, the question What impact would my saying yes or no have on the group? should also be asked.
I've been wrestling with this question for several weeks now, and this is the first time I thought to ask about the welfare of the group in addition to my own. That's sobering.
A priestess serves.
The form of that service is different for everyone.
This isn't about what's comfortable for me. It's about what the gods may be asking of me and how I can serve my community in an area I'm passionate about.
I've always been more than a little inward-focused, and the last four years have not helped in that regard. I think it's likely that I'm now being called to break out of that inward focus. That transition is likely to be awkward, even painful, but I work for Ereshkigal. The timing of this offer, coming very shortly after my Beltane initiation, is also significant. That in and of itself is a powerful suggestion that the gods are ready to move me out of my grief focus and deeper into life again.
Which is something I've been praying for.
I am held back primarily by my own fears of inadequacy, of letting down the group.
I don't get the sense that Ereshkigal finds that very convincing.