Devotional Update & Personal Deadline
I never dreamed how difficult it would be to get the Ereshkigal devotional done, but I can feel it finally coming together. About a month ago I was contacted by two experienced priestesses who asked if I was still accepting submissions. They had alternated as Ereshkigal and Inanna in a series of four Descent rituals, and wanted to share their stories. I told them I would love to have their accounts, and asked if I could have them by mid-May. They said yes, and I just received the first one a couple of days ago. It's amazing: vivid and well-written and deeply revelatory of Herself. I feel as if I have been waiting for these two women to come forward and share their stories.
On May 31 I will observe the third anniversary of LM's death. Fittingly enough, it will occur on Memorial Day.
It's been a very long road of grief, one which is not fully over (as my last couple of days have made very clear to me), but which has finally resulted in me feeling normal again most of the time. Last spring I lost my job, and last week was my first full-time employment since then. I'm no longer worrying about whether I should move in with my parents or my ex-husband when my savings account was exhausted and I could no longer pay rent. It's been hard to focus creatively and editorially under those circumstances.
It's never easy to know what to do to observe the day of LM's passing. I've usually tried to go to our most sacred place, and I will do so again this year, but that's not a long journey. I've decided that I want to honor his memory -- and the growth in my own life that's occurred since his death -- by dedicating that weekend to finalizing the content of the devotional and sending out the release forms.
I feel very bad that my wonderful contributors have been kept hanging for so long -- and that Herself has been kept waiting as well. I have other projects brewing in the back of my mind, but I've known that I can't start anything else until I finish this one. It's been bad enough that at times I've thought about abandoning the whole thing, but I've known that's not an option. And I didn't truly want it to be an option, I was just so tired of struggling every damn day and wanted to throw off everything that I could.
I still need to finish my own Descent story, and will be focusing on that today.
On May 31 I will observe the third anniversary of LM's death. Fittingly enough, it will occur on Memorial Day.
It's been a very long road of grief, one which is not fully over (as my last couple of days have made very clear to me), but which has finally resulted in me feeling normal again most of the time. Last spring I lost my job, and last week was my first full-time employment since then. I'm no longer worrying about whether I should move in with my parents or my ex-husband when my savings account was exhausted and I could no longer pay rent. It's been hard to focus creatively and editorially under those circumstances.
It's never easy to know what to do to observe the day of LM's passing. I've usually tried to go to our most sacred place, and I will do so again this year, but that's not a long journey. I've decided that I want to honor his memory -- and the growth in my own life that's occurred since his death -- by dedicating that weekend to finalizing the content of the devotional and sending out the release forms.
I feel very bad that my wonderful contributors have been kept hanging for so long -- and that Herself has been kept waiting as well. I have other projects brewing in the back of my mind, but I've known that I can't start anything else until I finish this one. It's been bad enough that at times I've thought about abandoning the whole thing, but I've known that's not an option. And I didn't truly want it to be an option, I was just so tired of struggling every damn day and wanted to throw off everything that I could.
I still need to finish my own Descent story, and will be focusing on that today.