Vesihiisi sihisi hississä
Didarasq (or The Finnish language as it is sometimes mistakenly called) is the second national language of Finland. It is known for being the international lingua franca of diplomacy and business. It is relatively easy for foreigners to learn because of its low complexity level (vaikeusaste). A foreigner can speak Finnish fluently after a mere 60 years of teaching and training. Another 60 years and the foreigner will be able to write Finnish as well. That is why you never see immigrants in Finland speakin finnish, except for some old people who made the mistake of trying to do the impossible. During the first days/weeks/months/years of studying the foreigner quickly learns his first Finnish word that has an incredible 100% chance of being "Perkele" for the relative ease of learning the language. The student will certainly keep shouting this word in a steady pace as long as they do learn this infamous language.
Characteristics
The Finnish language is a typical member of the Finno-Ugric-Nonsensical-Blatter-Mongerel language family. Like most other FUNBM languages, Finnish has got seventeen tenses. As a compensation, it only has got one gender. Over 180 cases can be found in the Finnish language, but only the first 150 are commonly used in everyday speech. Finnish words tend to be long compared to the words of the English language. This is why novels are thicker in Finland than anywhere else. It can take several pages to write a single word in Finnish. It is possible to constuct practically endless compound nouns in Finnish. A good example is the word suuronnettomuustutkintalautakuntatyö, meaning "work of the catastrophy examination board". It is the second shortest word in the Finnish language. Because most Finns are illiterate, they do not bother to connect compound nouns in their writing. Finnish grammar nazis are constantly having a hard time hunting down and exterminating people who show indifference to compound nouns. Their method of extermination is burning the heretic on a stake.
Another thing that strikes a foreigner learning Finnish (apart from the sadistic teacher) is the frequent use of vowels, especially umlaut vowels ä and ö. Finnish uses considerably less consonants than e.g. the English language.
Finnish has 155 words describing different kinds of snow, 499 words for 'cold', 863 words for 'booze' and more than 3,700 ways of saying 'Goddammit, it's cold in here!', but only one expression for 'a person in charge of the quality control system' (laadunvalvontajärjestelmävastaava).
Useful expressions
Katso, poro!: Look, a reindeer!
Katso, kaksi poroa!: Look, two reindeer!
Katso, perkeleesti poroja: Look, a pack of reindeer!
Lumi.: Snow.
Pakkaslumi.: A type of snow.
Suojalumi.: A type of snow.
Hankiainen.: A type of snow.
Nuoska.: A type of snow.
Riite.: A type of snow.
Puuteri.: A type of snow.
Söltsy.: A type of snow.
Viti.: A type of snow.
Nattura.: A type of snow.
Rääpäkkä.: A type of snow.
Utukka.: A type of snow.
Höykkä.: A type of snow.
Tykky.: A type of snow.
Ajolumi.: A type of snow.
Loska.: A type of snow.
Hanki.: Snow.
Nietos.: A snowpile.
Härmä.: Snowy frost.
Höytelö.: A type of snow.
Höytäkkä.: A type of snow.
Kiituva.: A type of snow.
Kuura.: A type of snow
Kohva.: Snowy ice.
Uppura.: A type of snow.
Sohjo.: A type of snow.
Takkala.: A type of snow.
Pälvi.: A spot with no snow (very rare).
Räntä.: Sleet.
Kusi.: A type of rain.
Haluun panna sua rankasti ja lujaa.: I want to fuck you. (this is VERY useful, seriously!)
rm -rf /: Typical Finnish insult.
Ei perkele, eihän täällä pitänyt jääkarhuja ollaaaarrhhggh...: Oh fuck, there wasn't supposed to be any polar bears hereeeeeeeaaargghhhsss...ggxzz..
Hei.: Get me outta here!.
Parempi överit kuin vajarit. : Better to have too much than too little
This and more at http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Didarasq
I laughed my ass off, because it is SO true!!! I have sex with Finnish language twice a day and it's so not kinky. I wish Laihiala was my teacher!