Living my best life (as much as one can during an apocalypse)
I have gained 17.3 pounds. I did a lot of thinking and people just wanted me to stay small and weak and like ever since I started a weight gain journey and finally got to a normal weight I realized just how unnourished I was. I was surrounded by complete fucking assholes.
I am the owner of a condo I share with my family. Rent is really fucking high and every day I realize just how lucky we were to buy a home instead of having to rent?! Bitch, I could never. Homeownership has its own issues but I'd rather own than rent any day of the week.
I've earned two cybersecurity certificates already. I'm upgrading and fixing devices on my own. All of the work will pay off and I'm too focused to let anything distract me. I don't talk to anyone anymore because I'm too hyperfocused on myself. I mean yeah there are multiple genocides happening and honestly? I just don't feel the need to speak to anyone who doesn't care about what the fuck is happening right now. I can't believe I always surrounded myself with people who either didn't know wtf they were talking about or didn't give a shit about injustice. Fuck that old part of my life. Like it was necessary maybe but in the end I fucking resent it.
I'm too brilliant for my own good. I think people underestimated me so many times to make themselves feel better because they knew they could never fucking hold a candle to me. They always fell short.
I'm still closed off but it hasn't been detrimental at all. I'm done giving people chances. Especially when they don't even deserve it. Like why pretend to be my fucking friend for years on end just to expose yourself as a hater? Why deceive me about your intentions when you know you're only around to fuck me over? I'm too smart now, it'll never happen again.
I cut Emmanuel off because he's a fucking Christian Zionist and doesn't even know it. I woke up much faster than he did and I have zero interest in being around someone who's indoctrinated. Period. Lauren is a Christian Zionist too and doesn't even fucking know it. It's like yeah I have pity sometimes but then again whatever, life goes on. No one's ever treated me the way I needed to be treated so fuck em.
Seanny made me realize I could never rely on them when things got hard. Immediately had to block and cut them off. Like I'm done with people half assing relationships, friendship or romantic. I'm just annoyed that people expect me to stick around and be their cheerleader and then they don't have to like reciprocate and help me and be a decent fucking human being? Like be fucking for real.
The other night I was at a restaurant and I got the book to pay the bill and on it someone scribbled Ray. The one who didn't love me back. Oh well.
I don't need anyone to love me back bc I'm taking all the love I had to give and pouring it into myself. And look where it's gotten me. It's making me realize how much time I've wasted and I'll waste no more time this time around. My life is going to constantly blossom and prosper and they're gonna all die mad. lol Oh and I'm still fine as hell. I'm aging in reverse.
Everything is exactly how I manifested it.
I am the owner of a condo I share with my family. Rent is really fucking high and every day I realize just how lucky we were to buy a home instead of having to rent?! Bitch, I could never. Homeownership has its own issues but I'd rather own than rent any day of the week.
I've earned two cybersecurity certificates already. I'm upgrading and fixing devices on my own. All of the work will pay off and I'm too focused to let anything distract me. I don't talk to anyone anymore because I'm too hyperfocused on myself. I mean yeah there are multiple genocides happening and honestly? I just don't feel the need to speak to anyone who doesn't care about what the fuck is happening right now. I can't believe I always surrounded myself with people who either didn't know wtf they were talking about or didn't give a shit about injustice. Fuck that old part of my life. Like it was necessary maybe but in the end I fucking resent it.
I'm too brilliant for my own good. I think people underestimated me so many times to make themselves feel better because they knew they could never fucking hold a candle to me. They always fell short.
I'm still closed off but it hasn't been detrimental at all. I'm done giving people chances. Especially when they don't even deserve it. Like why pretend to be my fucking friend for years on end just to expose yourself as a hater? Why deceive me about your intentions when you know you're only around to fuck me over? I'm too smart now, it'll never happen again.
I cut Emmanuel off because he's a fucking Christian Zionist and doesn't even know it. I woke up much faster than he did and I have zero interest in being around someone who's indoctrinated. Period. Lauren is a Christian Zionist too and doesn't even fucking know it. It's like yeah I have pity sometimes but then again whatever, life goes on. No one's ever treated me the way I needed to be treated so fuck em.
Seanny made me realize I could never rely on them when things got hard. Immediately had to block and cut them off. Like I'm done with people half assing relationships, friendship or romantic. I'm just annoyed that people expect me to stick around and be their cheerleader and then they don't have to like reciprocate and help me and be a decent fucking human being? Like be fucking for real.
The other night I was at a restaurant and I got the book to pay the bill and on it someone scribbled Ray. The one who didn't love me back. Oh well.
I don't need anyone to love me back bc I'm taking all the love I had to give and pouring it into myself. And look where it's gotten me. It's making me realize how much time I've wasted and I'll waste no more time this time around. My life is going to constantly blossom and prosper and they're gonna all die mad. lol Oh and I'm still fine as hell. I'm aging in reverse.
Everything is exactly how I manifested it.