...
...My father is still alive, sadly. Which to me comes off very morbid.
What he did is really messing me up. I think what he did is probably fucking up my mother as well. It hurts like hell just thinking about it. I was told why he left me, too.
He didn't want me.
I'm chatting with Koriku, now. It's making me feel a lot better, but I'm still in this bitter blur right now. It's becoming harder to catch myself. I just don't really know how to feel/sit/think on it. Dammit. I have finally come to this reality. I'm feeling pretty numb, hateful, angry, pissed off, aggresive... any negative feeling you can think of. And it all is directed towards my father. It's sickening to think about how my life is starting to go to hell/shit because of him. Selfish, ungrateful, sack of shit him.
I'm struggling badly with it all. Sorry if I come off a bit immature. I just don't really know how to channel my thoughts on it yet. The most hurtful thing of it all, is that I know he's alive, happy with everything. Not giving a rat's ass about what he's caused.
What he did is really messing me up. I think what he did is probably fucking up my mother as well. It hurts like hell just thinking about it. I was told why he left me, too.
He didn't want me.
I'm chatting with Koriku, now. It's making me feel a lot better, but I'm still in this bitter blur right now. It's becoming harder to catch myself. I just don't really know how to feel/sit/think on it. Dammit. I have finally come to this reality. I'm feeling pretty numb, hateful, angry, pissed off, aggresive... any negative feeling you can think of. And it all is directed towards my father. It's sickening to think about how my life is starting to go to hell/shit because of him. Selfish, ungrateful, sack of shit him.
I'm struggling badly with it all. Sorry if I come off a bit immature. I just don't really know how to channel my thoughts on it yet. The most hurtful thing of it all, is that I know he's alive, happy with everything. Not giving a rat's ass about what he's caused.