Catching Up Part 2

[shadow_serenity]

Continuing the events that have transpired

Comments

Re: You have a very interesting take on things, you know that?

[shadow_serenity]

You assume oh so many things. But let's just try and cover everything I need to reply to. It's hard to talk to you about anything anymore because of, not considering the fact that you NO LONGER get rides in the morning (Ms. I-like-getting-rides-because-it-allows-me-to-talk-with-you, semi-verbatim quote there), but because of your complete hostility (or is there something in a person saying "Hola" to you at Prom that just drives you to use French expletives? --and that's only one example). As well, to quote you from that morning awhile back, the reason given for not cussing out Shane and giving him his share of the blame was because "(you) LIKE Shane!" Keep your story straight. Shane hasn't pissed you off, has he? Unlike me. So yes, you can't let go of old grudges. We have a history that seems to be influencing your interactions with me nowadays. And I'm supposed to expect you to change overnight and stop calling me a bastard? PLEASE! You're practically hard-wired for it now. If someone was to ask "What's the first word you think of when I say Adam?" your response would likely be "Bastard!" As well, I don't care whether or not you give a shit about my opinions. I try and give some advice from a straight guy's perspective about some things you might want to work on if you were trying to seek one, and look what happens. Wild assumptions that I'm trying to make them change who they are, etc! No good deed goes unpunished. But that's a moot point, since you've clearly given up on guys for an indefinite period. I myself don't care how you look. Go bald, get body piercings and tattoos, wear bright neon colors! Whatever! And if I want to insult you, as you took my phone comment to be, I'll tell you straight up. But suddenly the sense of humor dies and someone hangs up. I don't know, maybe it's just me. But do you take it to the heart every time Kayla says "You're/You're all crazy!"? I bet not. Which either means you know she's not SERIOUS, or you acknowledge you are a basket case. As for the GSA, I was asked "Will you be a charter member?" first and shown the details second. Do I dislike Cory because he's gay? No. So I'll support that. Do I want to join the fight of all the sexually confused/transgendered/homosexual people? That's a whole different question. And the answer is no. I don't care whether or not the world likes your sexuality. I'm certainly not going to try and make them accept it. That's your job. And to drag religion into it, it would quite frankly be against my religion to try and make others accept you. You know, can't be a stumbling block for others and all that jazz. Speaking of which, how's your faith nowadays Lucy? Are you going to go ahead and follow Cory (for the second time) into a religion, or are you going to continue being a hypocritical Christian? In future, try not to be so narrow in your view of who says stupid/tactless things. Look into a mirror, listen to yourself objectively. You'd be surprised just what leaves your mouth soemtimes.

I am sorry, Adam.

[ellefemme]

I deserved that.

OK, Adam, I am sorry. I was very mad when I wrote most of that, which though that is not an excuse, did have an influence. I stopped getting rides with you, Adam, because it was (I thought) more convenient for you to not have to pick me up, and since my dad had just had his car wreck, I wanted to spend more time with him. I do like to get rides with you, and I would like to ride with you on Monday morning, if that is OK. Please give me a call tomorrow.
I am sorry that I have been calling you a bastard; it was unwarranted, as was my cussing you out in French at Prom. I will refrain from doing so in the future.

Now, something that bothers me rather a lot. (Just as a side note, I was not 'following Cory into a religion,' I was taking both him and Iris Drebensteadt up on an offer to come to North Side. I have been a Christian for 9 years, and have NO intention of turning my back on God.) I am very sad that you see me as a hypocrite. I know that I have acted like one, and that pains me. Also, I don't think that I made my stance on the whole I-like-girls-and-yet-I-am-a-Christian thing clear. I have thought and prayed on it a LOT, even before this past week. Yes, I am attracted to girls. I am moreso attracted to guys. I also love God. I love God MUCH MORE than I like girls (OR guys), and I intend to live according to how He wants me to live (aka, no girls). I have not been very faithful to Him in some of my recent actions, something for which I am very sad and can only ask His forgiveness, and yours.
I have been stupid.
I have been a jerk.
I have not acted in a way that pleases or glorifies God.
I am sorry.
I hope to talk to you sometime soon. I promise that I will behave myself.
Goodnight, Adam.