[fanfic] Then & Now
Title: Then & Now
Type: One Shot
Rating: G
Genre: Angst (I guess?)
Pairing: Nichkhun/Wooyoung
Words: 2000+
Sometimes, history repeats itself, but not always in the same way.
2009.
There was a burst of golden shimmer and high-pitched cheers exploded in the stadium as the thousands of fangirls waved their lightsticks frantically. The six of them struck the ending pose as they had rehearsed, dozens and dozens of times. Taecyeon flexed his biceps, with that angry expression he liked to call beastly. Junho did a sleek body roll before ending in a calculated pose with his hands outstretched. Junsu, never one for much theatrics, chose to stand coolly with a hand on his belt, and the other hand on his jacket. Chansung had done a whole somersault before he ended in a crouched position with his hand in salute to the audience. Nichkhun put on his most beastly frown, his head turned sideways so the audience could admire his side profile.
And Wooyoung? While the others had thought up their pose almost immediately, he had deliberated over it for ages. He couldn’t possibly do a split in the middle of the stage - that wasn’t ‘beastly’ in the least. There was no ‘beastly’ pose in the world that could show off flexibility. And without his flexibility - what else did he have that the others didn’t? In the end, he had settled for a simple Michael Jackson-inspired pose, his body slightly bent, his head bowed and his hand atop of his crown. The flashes from the fan cameras were almost blinding - but Wooyoung had a feeling it wasn’t for him.
“I’m so tired!” announced Junho unceremoniously as they finally got back to the dorm. They had gotten up so early to prepare for the concert, and had gotten back so late that they were soon going to spend an entire 24 hours awake now. The others were all silent and lethargic from the day’s activities, but Wooyoung’s silence was not entirely due to his exhaustion. He wordlessly took up his duffel bag and walked back to his room.
“Did you see the fangirls’ letters to me?” Junho kept chattering on about something or other when they were alone in their room. Even with the exhaustion, Junho was still running nonstop on that adrenaline of having successfully concluded their first concert. Despite himself, Wooyoung felt a stinging irritation, and wasn’t sure if he might not snap at Junho eventually.
Luckily for himself, Wooyoung had a frequent habit of sleeping in the living room, so it wasn’t to Junho’s surprise when he grabbed his bolster and pillow and left the bedroom. Outside, Chansung was already lying face-down like a dead body in the middle of the living room floor, his snoring reverberating around the walls. His snores were usually bearable, but the exhaustion of the whole day probably amplified the volume to intolerable levels. Wooyoung found himself turning on his heels and heading back towards the bedrooms - but not to his own.
“Hyung…” Wooyoung knocked on the door. “Hyung, are you asleep?”
“No, come in,” came the gentle voice he was so used to. Wooyoung opened the door, shoving his fat pillows and bolsters through the narrow doorway. Nichkhun was sitting up in bed with what Wooyoung called his grandfather glasses, reading some English book or other and looking every bit like an old man.
“Hyung, can I sleep in Chansung’s bed tonight?” asked Wooyoung, though he really only asked out of politeness. It wasn’t as if Nichkhun could say no.
As he was arranging his own bed necessities onto Chansung’s bed, Nichkhun piped up. “Wooyoung ah, are you OK today?”
“Huh?” Wooyoung spun around, looking at Nichkhun a little sheepishly. Had it been obvious that he wasn’t feeling completely like his usual self? None of the other guys had mentioned it though. But, Wooyoung reminded himself, it was Nichkhun after all. And Nichkhun functioned differently from most guys he knew.
“It’s just that you seemed a little - sad? - when we came back to the dorm. Ever since the concert ended, actually,” Nichkhun explained, putting away his book and shifting himself to the edge of his bed.
Wooyoung sat down heavily on the edge of Chansung’s bed and stared a little forlornly at the ground. He knew he could tell Nichkhun. It wouldn’t be the first time they had such random heart to heart talks in the middle of the night. “I just…” Wooyoung halted. It seemed a little silly, having such thoughts when they had just concluded their first concert, a milestone in their career. What would Nichkhun think of him and his untimely and almost unnatural low self-confidence? Would that make him an even greater liability to the group than he already was? The thought sprang hot tears to his eyes. He tried to blink them away, but it instead only resulted in them dropping and creating spots of wetness on his pants. He bent his head lower in the hopes that Nichkhun wouldn’t have noticed - though since they were facing each other across the small room, this seemed a little futile. Wooyoung swallowed and continued. “I just feel like I don’t contribute much to the group.”
There. He said it. Externalizing it instigated a wave of relief and yet also of pain and shame over Wooyoung. On one hand, it felt nice that he had finally acknowledged it, and it was no longer a nameless pestering thought at the back of his head. On the other, he was struck by a deep fear, anticipating what Nichkhun would say. Though Wooyoung did feel like he had no outstanding colour in the group, and was willing to acknowledge it, it would be an entirely different - and very painful - matter to have another person agree with that, much less when it was someone he respected like Nichkhun.
There was silence. Wooyoung stared at the floor of the room, feeling his embarrassment rise exponentially with every silent passing second. Suddenly, there sounded the creaking of the bed-springs as Nichkhun got up from his bed and sat down next to Wooyoung. Before Wooyoung could react to this shift, Nichkhun had folded him tightly into his arms, his hand cupping the base of Wooyoung’s head in a gesture that made him feel somehow safe and - loved?
“Nobody thinks that,” Nichkhun said, his tone firm though he barely raised his volume. Wooyoung closed his eyes, feeling the tears create their first tracks down his cheeks. But now he wasn’t crying because of his insecurities, but the overwhelming warmth from the hug, from the way Nichkhun’s hand was rubbing comfortingly up and down his back, from the soft reaffirming voice in his ear. Nichkhun continued, “Nobody thinks that, all right? Don’t ever have such stupid baseless thoughts again. Everything’s going to be all right, and you’re going to be fine.”
Simple words so commonly spoken that they sounded almost cliché, but yet when said at the right time by the right person, nevertheless had great power. Wooyoung felt a fresh stream of tears well up, as his hands wrapped themselves around Nichkhun’s back.
2012.
There was a burst of golden shimmer and an explosion of the now all-too-familiar shrieks of fangirls. Wooyoung struck the ending pose that had been specially tailored for him, which he had rehearsed so many times by himself in the middle of the stage as the music came to a dramatic end. He was panting, and he could feel his entire face drenched in perspiration, but yet he couldn’t help grinning to the audience as he took a bow. The end of his performance marked the end of the first fanmeeting he was having, by himself, in his hometown.
“Thank you, and I’ll see you guys next time!” Wooyoung grinned and waved to the screaming fans. The flashes from their cameras were almost blinding, and there was no one else that it could be for but for himself. Wooyoung bowed again, waved and walked backstage. It still felt strange to be performing all by himself now, but slowly, with each performance that he had to go through, he was getting used to it. His confidence level was slowly going up. He felt less scared of having the limelight all to himself, and understanding what it meant to be a solo artist.
Gulping down a few more mouthfuls of water, Wooyoung patted his face with a tissue as he walked into the dressing room. Assistants flocked up to him immediately, some removing the microphone from his belt, some helping him to remove his make-up. It had been almost 4 years. Wooyoung was so used to it that he simply stood on the spot with his limbs outstretched while letting them have their way with him.
“OK, this schedule is the last for today,” said his manager, frowning at a notebook with all their schedules pencilled in. “Tomorrow, you’ll have a -“ A familiar ringtone started playing and the manager whipped out the handphone from his pocket. “Hello? Yes. Yes. … What?” With that, the manager quickly stepped out of the bustling noisy dressing room, leaving Wooyoung puzzled though not entirely curious. It was probably some last minute schedule changes, or a cancellation of something or other. Wooyoung would deal with it when he found out about it.
By the time his manager was done, the dressing room had almost all but emptied. His bags were packed, his make-up had been removed and he had changed back to his ordinary clothes. The rest of the staff were just tying up loose ends with the event organizer and the people who ran the venue, and all he was doing was really just waiting for his manager and the van back to the hotel now. Wooyoung looked up from his chair as his manager walked in, ashen-faced and looked like he had added a few more wrinkles since the last time he had talked to Wooyoung.
“What’s wrong?” Wooyoung asked with some alarm. He had never seen his manager look like that before.
“It’s…” The manager started hesitantly, but then he cursed and sat down heavily on one of the empty chairs. “Something’s happened with Nichkhun.”
--
“How is he?” Wooyoung asked Taecyeon the moment he got back to the dorm. Everyone else had already left for Japan by now. Taecyeon shook his head solemnly.
“He’s locked himself in his room since that night. He only comes out when he has to go back to the police station. We’ve all tried to make him eat something, but he’s never responded. I don’t know what’s going on in there, but frankly, I’m really worried. I’ve never seen him like this before,” Taecyeon spilled the story to Wooyoung, whose heart sank with every sentence.
That night, as Wooyoung walked through the second level of their dormitory to get back to his room, he passed by the locked door of Nichkhun’s. He stopped hestitatingly in front of it, his hand itching to knock on the door. Would Nichkhun respond? He had been so busy with his solo activities, they hadn’t had their usual heart to heart talk in ages - would he still be a candidate for Nichkhun to open up to? A wave of guilt washed over Wooyoung as he thought about this. Nichkhun had always been giving the greatest support for his solo debut, and though he appreciated it, he had never verbalized it much, or taken a bit of time out to catch up with his hyung. Would the door open now? After deliberating on this decision for almost half a minute, Wooyoung shook his head violently, deciding that Nichkhun probably still needed some more time to himself, and went back to his own room.
The comments on the Internet was more than brutal. Wooyoung felt himself bristling all over as he read some of them, scrolling through the articles. He thought he would be used to it by now, but it was a whole different matter when the hate comments were directed at someone else rather than yourself. Wooyoung made a grunt of derision as he closed the window, wishing he had never bothered opening it.
There was a knock on his door. “Come in,” Wooyoung said, swiveling around on his chair, anticipating Taecyeon to come and talk to him about the possible changes in the next day’s schedules. Instead, he saw the pale, terrified face of Nichkhun peeking in from the dark corridor, his eyes darting around as if he was too afraid to make eye contact with Wooyoung. He was paler than Wooyoung had ever seen him before, but in addition to that was another feature that Wooyoung had never seen in Nichkhun - red, puffy eyes.
“Hyung,” Wooyoung breathed hurriedly as he sprang up from his chair to open the door for Nichkhun.
Without a word, as if he couldn’t bear to even speak to Wooyoung, Nichkhun let himself into the room, and let Wooyoung close the door behind him. His movements were slow and lethargic, almost as if he was weary of everything around him and of life itself. Wooyoung felt a pain in his chest at this Nichkhun that he had never known before. With a wordless indication, Nichkhun asked whether he might sleep in Wooyoung’s bed tonight, and Wooyoung similarly nodded silently.
Nichkhun padded into the room, gently drew down the blankets to Wooyoung’s large bed and climbed in, taking as little space on the bed as he could. It felt like he thought his presence and visit an inconvenience. Wooyoung frowned, again feeling pained. He had never seen Nichkhun like this before, and had never thought that he would take such a setback so personally. Shutting down his laptop and turning off the lights, Wooyoung climbed into his bed and physically shifted Nichkhun closer to himself, if only to let him know that he would never be an inconvenience or unwelcome in his room.
As Nichkhun turned around to face him, it was with some alarm that Wooyoung felt some wetness underneath his fingers that had just lightly brushed across Nichkhun’s cheeks. Wooyoung stopped for a while, his alarm growing. He realised this was probably only the third time he had witnessed his tears since he first knew him all those years ago. He cautiously wiped Nichkhun’s cheek, before he drew Nichkhun into a tight embrace on the bed. The tears dropped onto his shoulder now, but even then, Nichkhun didn’t give into open sobbing. His grief was silent.
“I’m sorry,” Nichkhun whispered in a barely audible voice, as if all the life had been drained out of him. Wooyoung only hugged him tighter. “I’ve been a disappointment to you all. I’m sorry for everything.”
“Nobody thinks that,” Wooyoung whispered back harshly. His hand stroked the back of Nichkhun’s head, wanting desperately to give as much comfort to his friend as he could. “Stop saying such things, all right? You’re going to be fine, and everything will turn out all right in the end.”
Nichkhun bowed his head deeper into Wooyoung’s shoulder, and Wooyoung could feel the growing coldness of his tears. His heart ached, not only because he cared for Nichkhun, but also from the overwhelming helplessness that he felt. There was absolutely nothing that either of them could do to reverse the situation, or to salvage it. There was nothing to do but to let time take its course.
Wooyoung pulled Nichkhun away, feeling the older boy quivering in his hands. It was new to Wooyoung to see him so completely broken down, and it was a painful sight. He leaned closer and kissed Nichkhun’s forehead gently, swallowing his own tears away. He had to be strong, because Nichkhun needed it right now. Because Nichkhun had always been strong for everyone, and now it was Wooyoung’s turn.
“We’ll wait for you,” Wooyoung whispered firmly, his hands holding onto Nichkhun’s head and his thumbs stroking his cheek. “We’ll wait for you until you’re ready. And after that, you’re going to be even better than you were before.”
Wooyoung pulled him back into his embrace and held him firmly as Nichkhun broke down.
Type: One Shot
Rating: G
Genre: Angst (I guess?)
Pairing: Nichkhun/Wooyoung
Words: 2000+
Sometimes, history repeats itself, but not always in the same way.
2009.
There was a burst of golden shimmer and high-pitched cheers exploded in the stadium as the thousands of fangirls waved their lightsticks frantically. The six of them struck the ending pose as they had rehearsed, dozens and dozens of times. Taecyeon flexed his biceps, with that angry expression he liked to call beastly. Junho did a sleek body roll before ending in a calculated pose with his hands outstretched. Junsu, never one for much theatrics, chose to stand coolly with a hand on his belt, and the other hand on his jacket. Chansung had done a whole somersault before he ended in a crouched position with his hand in salute to the audience. Nichkhun put on his most beastly frown, his head turned sideways so the audience could admire his side profile.
And Wooyoung? While the others had thought up their pose almost immediately, he had deliberated over it for ages. He couldn’t possibly do a split in the middle of the stage - that wasn’t ‘beastly’ in the least. There was no ‘beastly’ pose in the world that could show off flexibility. And without his flexibility - what else did he have that the others didn’t? In the end, he had settled for a simple Michael Jackson-inspired pose, his body slightly bent, his head bowed and his hand atop of his crown. The flashes from the fan cameras were almost blinding - but Wooyoung had a feeling it wasn’t for him.
“I’m so tired!” announced Junho unceremoniously as they finally got back to the dorm. They had gotten up so early to prepare for the concert, and had gotten back so late that they were soon going to spend an entire 24 hours awake now. The others were all silent and lethargic from the day’s activities, but Wooyoung’s silence was not entirely due to his exhaustion. He wordlessly took up his duffel bag and walked back to his room.
“Did you see the fangirls’ letters to me?” Junho kept chattering on about something or other when they were alone in their room. Even with the exhaustion, Junho was still running nonstop on that adrenaline of having successfully concluded their first concert. Despite himself, Wooyoung felt a stinging irritation, and wasn’t sure if he might not snap at Junho eventually.
Luckily for himself, Wooyoung had a frequent habit of sleeping in the living room, so it wasn’t to Junho’s surprise when he grabbed his bolster and pillow and left the bedroom. Outside, Chansung was already lying face-down like a dead body in the middle of the living room floor, his snoring reverberating around the walls. His snores were usually bearable, but the exhaustion of the whole day probably amplified the volume to intolerable levels. Wooyoung found himself turning on his heels and heading back towards the bedrooms - but not to his own.
“Hyung…” Wooyoung knocked on the door. “Hyung, are you asleep?”
“No, come in,” came the gentle voice he was so used to. Wooyoung opened the door, shoving his fat pillows and bolsters through the narrow doorway. Nichkhun was sitting up in bed with what Wooyoung called his grandfather glasses, reading some English book or other and looking every bit like an old man.
“Hyung, can I sleep in Chansung’s bed tonight?” asked Wooyoung, though he really only asked out of politeness. It wasn’t as if Nichkhun could say no.
As he was arranging his own bed necessities onto Chansung’s bed, Nichkhun piped up. “Wooyoung ah, are you OK today?”
“Huh?” Wooyoung spun around, looking at Nichkhun a little sheepishly. Had it been obvious that he wasn’t feeling completely like his usual self? None of the other guys had mentioned it though. But, Wooyoung reminded himself, it was Nichkhun after all. And Nichkhun functioned differently from most guys he knew.
“It’s just that you seemed a little - sad? - when we came back to the dorm. Ever since the concert ended, actually,” Nichkhun explained, putting away his book and shifting himself to the edge of his bed.
Wooyoung sat down heavily on the edge of Chansung’s bed and stared a little forlornly at the ground. He knew he could tell Nichkhun. It wouldn’t be the first time they had such random heart to heart talks in the middle of the night. “I just…” Wooyoung halted. It seemed a little silly, having such thoughts when they had just concluded their first concert, a milestone in their career. What would Nichkhun think of him and his untimely and almost unnatural low self-confidence? Would that make him an even greater liability to the group than he already was? The thought sprang hot tears to his eyes. He tried to blink them away, but it instead only resulted in them dropping and creating spots of wetness on his pants. He bent his head lower in the hopes that Nichkhun wouldn’t have noticed - though since they were facing each other across the small room, this seemed a little futile. Wooyoung swallowed and continued. “I just feel like I don’t contribute much to the group.”
There. He said it. Externalizing it instigated a wave of relief and yet also of pain and shame over Wooyoung. On one hand, it felt nice that he had finally acknowledged it, and it was no longer a nameless pestering thought at the back of his head. On the other, he was struck by a deep fear, anticipating what Nichkhun would say. Though Wooyoung did feel like he had no outstanding colour in the group, and was willing to acknowledge it, it would be an entirely different - and very painful - matter to have another person agree with that, much less when it was someone he respected like Nichkhun.
There was silence. Wooyoung stared at the floor of the room, feeling his embarrassment rise exponentially with every silent passing second. Suddenly, there sounded the creaking of the bed-springs as Nichkhun got up from his bed and sat down next to Wooyoung. Before Wooyoung could react to this shift, Nichkhun had folded him tightly into his arms, his hand cupping the base of Wooyoung’s head in a gesture that made him feel somehow safe and - loved?
“Nobody thinks that,” Nichkhun said, his tone firm though he barely raised his volume. Wooyoung closed his eyes, feeling the tears create their first tracks down his cheeks. But now he wasn’t crying because of his insecurities, but the overwhelming warmth from the hug, from the way Nichkhun’s hand was rubbing comfortingly up and down his back, from the soft reaffirming voice in his ear. Nichkhun continued, “Nobody thinks that, all right? Don’t ever have such stupid baseless thoughts again. Everything’s going to be all right, and you’re going to be fine.”
Simple words so commonly spoken that they sounded almost cliché, but yet when said at the right time by the right person, nevertheless had great power. Wooyoung felt a fresh stream of tears well up, as his hands wrapped themselves around Nichkhun’s back.
2012.
There was a burst of golden shimmer and an explosion of the now all-too-familiar shrieks of fangirls. Wooyoung struck the ending pose that had been specially tailored for him, which he had rehearsed so many times by himself in the middle of the stage as the music came to a dramatic end. He was panting, and he could feel his entire face drenched in perspiration, but yet he couldn’t help grinning to the audience as he took a bow. The end of his performance marked the end of the first fanmeeting he was having, by himself, in his hometown.
“Thank you, and I’ll see you guys next time!” Wooyoung grinned and waved to the screaming fans. The flashes from their cameras were almost blinding, and there was no one else that it could be for but for himself. Wooyoung bowed again, waved and walked backstage. It still felt strange to be performing all by himself now, but slowly, with each performance that he had to go through, he was getting used to it. His confidence level was slowly going up. He felt less scared of having the limelight all to himself, and understanding what it meant to be a solo artist.
Gulping down a few more mouthfuls of water, Wooyoung patted his face with a tissue as he walked into the dressing room. Assistants flocked up to him immediately, some removing the microphone from his belt, some helping him to remove his make-up. It had been almost 4 years. Wooyoung was so used to it that he simply stood on the spot with his limbs outstretched while letting them have their way with him.
“OK, this schedule is the last for today,” said his manager, frowning at a notebook with all their schedules pencilled in. “Tomorrow, you’ll have a -“ A familiar ringtone started playing and the manager whipped out the handphone from his pocket. “Hello? Yes. Yes. … What?” With that, the manager quickly stepped out of the bustling noisy dressing room, leaving Wooyoung puzzled though not entirely curious. It was probably some last minute schedule changes, or a cancellation of something or other. Wooyoung would deal with it when he found out about it.
By the time his manager was done, the dressing room had almost all but emptied. His bags were packed, his make-up had been removed and he had changed back to his ordinary clothes. The rest of the staff were just tying up loose ends with the event organizer and the people who ran the venue, and all he was doing was really just waiting for his manager and the van back to the hotel now. Wooyoung looked up from his chair as his manager walked in, ashen-faced and looked like he had added a few more wrinkles since the last time he had talked to Wooyoung.
“What’s wrong?” Wooyoung asked with some alarm. He had never seen his manager look like that before.
“It’s…” The manager started hesitantly, but then he cursed and sat down heavily on one of the empty chairs. “Something’s happened with Nichkhun.”
--
“How is he?” Wooyoung asked Taecyeon the moment he got back to the dorm. Everyone else had already left for Japan by now. Taecyeon shook his head solemnly.
“He’s locked himself in his room since that night. He only comes out when he has to go back to the police station. We’ve all tried to make him eat something, but he’s never responded. I don’t know what’s going on in there, but frankly, I’m really worried. I’ve never seen him like this before,” Taecyeon spilled the story to Wooyoung, whose heart sank with every sentence.
That night, as Wooyoung walked through the second level of their dormitory to get back to his room, he passed by the locked door of Nichkhun’s. He stopped hestitatingly in front of it, his hand itching to knock on the door. Would Nichkhun respond? He had been so busy with his solo activities, they hadn’t had their usual heart to heart talk in ages - would he still be a candidate for Nichkhun to open up to? A wave of guilt washed over Wooyoung as he thought about this. Nichkhun had always been giving the greatest support for his solo debut, and though he appreciated it, he had never verbalized it much, or taken a bit of time out to catch up with his hyung. Would the door open now? After deliberating on this decision for almost half a minute, Wooyoung shook his head violently, deciding that Nichkhun probably still needed some more time to himself, and went back to his own room.
The comments on the Internet was more than brutal. Wooyoung felt himself bristling all over as he read some of them, scrolling through the articles. He thought he would be used to it by now, but it was a whole different matter when the hate comments were directed at someone else rather than yourself. Wooyoung made a grunt of derision as he closed the window, wishing he had never bothered opening it.
There was a knock on his door. “Come in,” Wooyoung said, swiveling around on his chair, anticipating Taecyeon to come and talk to him about the possible changes in the next day’s schedules. Instead, he saw the pale, terrified face of Nichkhun peeking in from the dark corridor, his eyes darting around as if he was too afraid to make eye contact with Wooyoung. He was paler than Wooyoung had ever seen him before, but in addition to that was another feature that Wooyoung had never seen in Nichkhun - red, puffy eyes.
“Hyung,” Wooyoung breathed hurriedly as he sprang up from his chair to open the door for Nichkhun.
Without a word, as if he couldn’t bear to even speak to Wooyoung, Nichkhun let himself into the room, and let Wooyoung close the door behind him. His movements were slow and lethargic, almost as if he was weary of everything around him and of life itself. Wooyoung felt a pain in his chest at this Nichkhun that he had never known before. With a wordless indication, Nichkhun asked whether he might sleep in Wooyoung’s bed tonight, and Wooyoung similarly nodded silently.
Nichkhun padded into the room, gently drew down the blankets to Wooyoung’s large bed and climbed in, taking as little space on the bed as he could. It felt like he thought his presence and visit an inconvenience. Wooyoung frowned, again feeling pained. He had never seen Nichkhun like this before, and had never thought that he would take such a setback so personally. Shutting down his laptop and turning off the lights, Wooyoung climbed into his bed and physically shifted Nichkhun closer to himself, if only to let him know that he would never be an inconvenience or unwelcome in his room.
As Nichkhun turned around to face him, it was with some alarm that Wooyoung felt some wetness underneath his fingers that had just lightly brushed across Nichkhun’s cheeks. Wooyoung stopped for a while, his alarm growing. He realised this was probably only the third time he had witnessed his tears since he first knew him all those years ago. He cautiously wiped Nichkhun’s cheek, before he drew Nichkhun into a tight embrace on the bed. The tears dropped onto his shoulder now, but even then, Nichkhun didn’t give into open sobbing. His grief was silent.
“I’m sorry,” Nichkhun whispered in a barely audible voice, as if all the life had been drained out of him. Wooyoung only hugged him tighter. “I’ve been a disappointment to you all. I’m sorry for everything.”
“Nobody thinks that,” Wooyoung whispered back harshly. His hand stroked the back of Nichkhun’s head, wanting desperately to give as much comfort to his friend as he could. “Stop saying such things, all right? You’re going to be fine, and everything will turn out all right in the end.”
Nichkhun bowed his head deeper into Wooyoung’s shoulder, and Wooyoung could feel the growing coldness of his tears. His heart ached, not only because he cared for Nichkhun, but also from the overwhelming helplessness that he felt. There was absolutely nothing that either of them could do to reverse the situation, or to salvage it. There was nothing to do but to let time take its course.
Wooyoung pulled Nichkhun away, feeling the older boy quivering in his hands. It was new to Wooyoung to see him so completely broken down, and it was a painful sight. He leaned closer and kissed Nichkhun’s forehead gently, swallowing his own tears away. He had to be strong, because Nichkhun needed it right now. Because Nichkhun had always been strong for everyone, and now it was Wooyoung’s turn.
“We’ll wait for you,” Wooyoung whispered firmly, his hands holding onto Nichkhun’s head and his thumbs stroking his cheek. “We’ll wait for you until you’re ready. And after that, you’re going to be even better than you were before.”
Wooyoung pulled him back into his embrace and held him firmly as Nichkhun broke down.