This is why you should never mix CLAMP and reindeers
KISEKI CHAT, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
(Warnings for crack, bad rhymes, Mokona/Yuuko being a voyeur, dress-up, more crack, and boy-kissing. Shacha accepts no responsibility for any brain-breakage or choking this madness may cause.)
'Twas the night before Christmas and, out of habit,
Not a creature was stirring - save for the thing that looked like a rabbit.
Mokona was awake, downstairs by the tree,
Hiding in its branches, oh, quite sneakily.
Sakura and Syaoran were safe nestled in their beds
With visions of tomorrow dancing sweet through their heads.
For once it was quiet (the ‘parents’ were elsewhere),
And Mokona sat determined, ready to finally win a dare -
When all of a-sudden, there was what sounded like ‘mews’,
And the footsteps of someone who’d forgotten to take off their shoes.
Mokona was quiet (never let the fact she couldn’t be be said)
While into the room stumbled a person in red.
They weren’t alone, and as the fire gave a soft crackle,
Mokona heard the second complimenting ‘Santa’s’ tackle.
The first - he was the tallest - then gained a deep flush,
And the second ‘hyuu’ed and said that he liked the blush.
And then Santa swore, and children’s hearts would be broken,
To know that dear Santa could let out such a terribly rude token.
Fai - who else could it be?- only leaned up for a kiss,
And Santa pushed him away with a particularly low hiss.
‘Whaaat? Idiot, where did your sanity go?!’
Fai only shrugged, pointed up, beamed: ‘Mistletoe.’
And indeed, the damned plant, it hung overhead,
And Santa, he gained a whole new shade of red.
‘Santa is shy!’ Fai all but cooed in delight,
And Santa turned away, his face to the night.
‘Fai-mommy will teach him,’ Fai-mommy did insist,
And pulled Santa back with a shrewd little twist.
He kissed Santa again - oh there, right on the lips,
And Mokona cried out - all things this did eclipse!
‘Fai-mommy!’ She sobbed, giving up her plans of a surprise,
With little salt tears trickling down from her eyes.
‘What of Kuro-daddy?’ Poor Mokona cried,
With the wailing one would expect when hearing their grandma had died.
‘He’s asleep upstairs, thinking you’re there,
Whilst Fai-mommy is downstairs having an illicit affair!
He’d be sad for sure, and his heart would be broke -’
(Santa made a weird noise, and tried not to choke)
‘Mokona,’ Fai broached gently, ‘this isn’t what you think-’
‘Mokona knows what she saw - Mokona didn’t blink!’
‘But Mokona-’ She wouldn’t listen, so Fai reached for Santa’s hat,
But Santa, you see, wasn’t having any of that.
He growled all a-scary: ‘Do it and die.’
‘But Santa,’ Fai pouted, ‘we’ve made Mokona cry.’
‘I don’t care.’ ‘Saa, Santa is mean!’
Mokona kept crying. Santa: ‘Tch, drama-queen.’
‘Santa,’ Fai reproved, ‘take that hat off your head.
Else you can sleep on the couch, whilst I keep the bed.’
‘Fai-mommy!!’ Mokona wailed again - her family was a con,
‘How long has this affair really been going on?!’
Fai looked disapprovingly at Santa, and Santa gave out a sigh,
‘If this gets back to the bitch, you immediately die.’
‘It won’t~!’ Fai did chirp - Santa didn’t believe a word that he said,
But eventually reached up and took that red hat from his head
Along with his beard, and Mokona blinked: ‘Kuro-daddy?’
As it slowly dawned in that Santa might not be a baddy.
She turned to Fai, ‘Why was Daddy in disguise?’
‘It was,’ Fai admitted, ‘going to be a surprise.
Kuro-sama was Santa, so it wouldn’t have been a lie
To tell Sakura-chan and Syaoran-kun that Santa stopped by.’
‘Fai-mommy loves us!’ Squealed Mokona, and bounced up to kiss Fai’s cheek,
‘And Kuro-daddy too -’ ‘Try and kiss me, manjuu, and I’ll kick you into next week.’
‘Mokona should’ve known,’ Mokona babbled, ‘that Fai-mommy wouldn’t cheat.
Because Mokona thinks Daddy’s pretty hard to beat!’
Fai only smiled, and Kurogane muttered ‘yikes’,
Mokona turned to him, ‘And Fai’s the only one too, that Kuro-daddy really likes?’
‘Of course n-’ Kurogane started, ready the accusation to deny,
But Mokona wibbled most dramatically, and once more threatened to cry.
‘It’s Christmas,’ Fai chided gently, and if there was hope in his gaze
It was covered quickly - the mage’s heart truly was a strange maze.
‘I don’t need Christmas,” Kurogane started a new sentence anew.
And then a little more quietly, ‘…I don’t hate you.’
Fai smiled brightly, Mokona cheered once again,
Pleased to see her ‘parents’ once more right as rain.
She then turned to nothing in particular, ‘See, Mokona was right!’
And then an image of Yuuko appeared in the night.
‘So Mokona was,’ said the witch, as Mokona cheered, ‘Mokona’s never wrong!’
Kurogane spluttered, Fai got it and asked: ‘…So you knew all along?’
‘Of course Mokona knew~!’sang Mokona, as if there really was any doubt,
‘Fai-mommy is faithful!’ …At which point ‘Santa’ began to shout:
‘When I get my hands on you -’ ‘Eek!’ Mokona then cried,
And then leaped onto Fai’s shoulder to find a good place to hide.
‘Kuro-chan,’ Fai smiled, ‘it’s the season - goodwill to all men.’
‘That’s a meatbun,’ Kurogane hissed. Yuuko smiled, ‘Kurogane, then
You won’t mind me sending these to Tomoyo?’ And held up in the air
Pictures of Fai and ‘Santa’ (with clothes quite obviously not there).
Kurogane paled, ‘Where-?’ Mokona peeped, ‘Mokona’s a super spy!’
‘Oh,’ Fai too was speechless, Yuuko smirked, ‘Yes, oh my.’
Kurogane dived for Mokona, Mokona took off at a run,
Kurogane yelling and screaming death for the meatbun.
Sakura and Syaoran were woken, and came down from bed,
And naturally inquired why Santa wanted Mokona dead.
‘Communication difficulties,’ was all that Fai would say,
And then Mokona bounced past them, still bounding on her way,
Kurogane scrambling after. Sakura: ‘Why is Yuuko-san here?’
Kurogane: ‘She’s a pervert.’ Fai: ‘We have beer.’
‘Beer?’ Queried Yuuko, Fai hurried the children ahead,
As Kurogane yelled, Fai put the kids back in bed.
‘Merry Christmas,’ Fai greeted the witch, when ‘Santa’ paused for breath.
And Kurogane scowled at him also, a glare fit for death.
‘Merry Christmas,’ Yuuko replied with a smile, ‘and to all a good night.’
She had what she wanted, so she vanished from sight.
Kurogane cursed and Mokona bounced away whilst the ninja was distracted,
Hoping the call for her life had finally been retracted.
‘Kuro-santa,’ Fai purred, and went to sit on the man’s lap,
Reaching up to replace Kurogane’s missing cap.
Kurogane smirked as Fai drawled out his ‘I’ve been good all year~’,
Winding his arms round the man’s neck, and breathing against his ear.
‘Tell me what you want, then,’ the ninja drawled back.
Fai plucked at his shirt, ‘Then tell me - what’s Santa got in his sack?’
Kurogane only glared, and Fai saw Mokona once more herself back had borne.
Both men sighed - Mokona shrugged, unrepentant. ‘Yuuko says she wants porn.’
And so concluded Christmas Eve, with yelling and shrieks,
A holiday for sure the ‘family’ would remember for weeks.
Fai and Kurogane got no sex; Mokona and Yuuko were proved right,
And Sakura and Syaoran blushed themselves to sleep - so for all, a usual night.
END.
(Warnings for crack, bad rhymes, Mokona/Yuuko being a voyeur, dress-up, more crack, and boy-kissing. Shacha accepts no responsibility for any brain-breakage or choking this madness may cause.)
'Twas the night before Christmas and, out of habit,
Not a creature was stirring - save for the thing that looked like a rabbit.
Mokona was awake, downstairs by the tree,
Hiding in its branches, oh, quite sneakily.
Sakura and Syaoran were safe nestled in their beds
With visions of tomorrow dancing sweet through their heads.
For once it was quiet (the ‘parents’ were elsewhere),
And Mokona sat determined, ready to finally win a dare -
When all of a-sudden, there was what sounded like ‘mews’,
And the footsteps of someone who’d forgotten to take off their shoes.
Mokona was quiet (never let the fact she couldn’t be be said)
While into the room stumbled a person in red.
They weren’t alone, and as the fire gave a soft crackle,
Mokona heard the second complimenting ‘Santa’s’ tackle.
The first - he was the tallest - then gained a deep flush,
And the second ‘hyuu’ed and said that he liked the blush.
And then Santa swore, and children’s hearts would be broken,
To know that dear Santa could let out such a terribly rude token.
Fai - who else could it be?- only leaned up for a kiss,
And Santa pushed him away with a particularly low hiss.
‘Whaaat? Idiot, where did your sanity go?!’
Fai only shrugged, pointed up, beamed: ‘Mistletoe.’
And indeed, the damned plant, it hung overhead,
And Santa, he gained a whole new shade of red.
‘Santa is shy!’ Fai all but cooed in delight,
And Santa turned away, his face to the night.
‘Fai-mommy will teach him,’ Fai-mommy did insist,
And pulled Santa back with a shrewd little twist.
He kissed Santa again - oh there, right on the lips,
And Mokona cried out - all things this did eclipse!
‘Fai-mommy!’ She sobbed, giving up her plans of a surprise,
With little salt tears trickling down from her eyes.
‘What of Kuro-daddy?’ Poor Mokona cried,
With the wailing one would expect when hearing their grandma had died.
‘He’s asleep upstairs, thinking you’re there,
Whilst Fai-mommy is downstairs having an illicit affair!
He’d be sad for sure, and his heart would be broke -’
(Santa made a weird noise, and tried not to choke)
‘Mokona,’ Fai broached gently, ‘this isn’t what you think-’
‘Mokona knows what she saw - Mokona didn’t blink!’
‘But Mokona-’ She wouldn’t listen, so Fai reached for Santa’s hat,
But Santa, you see, wasn’t having any of that.
He growled all a-scary: ‘Do it and die.’
‘But Santa,’ Fai pouted, ‘we’ve made Mokona cry.’
‘I don’t care.’ ‘Saa, Santa is mean!’
Mokona kept crying. Santa: ‘Tch, drama-queen.’
‘Santa,’ Fai reproved, ‘take that hat off your head.
Else you can sleep on the couch, whilst I keep the bed.’
‘Fai-mommy!!’ Mokona wailed again - her family was a con,
‘How long has this affair really been going on?!’
Fai looked disapprovingly at Santa, and Santa gave out a sigh,
‘If this gets back to the bitch, you immediately die.’
‘It won’t~!’ Fai did chirp - Santa didn’t believe a word that he said,
But eventually reached up and took that red hat from his head
Along with his beard, and Mokona blinked: ‘Kuro-daddy?’
As it slowly dawned in that Santa might not be a baddy.
She turned to Fai, ‘Why was Daddy in disguise?’
‘It was,’ Fai admitted, ‘going to be a surprise.
Kuro-sama was Santa, so it wouldn’t have been a lie
To tell Sakura-chan and Syaoran-kun that Santa stopped by.’
‘Fai-mommy loves us!’ Squealed Mokona, and bounced up to kiss Fai’s cheek,
‘And Kuro-daddy too -’ ‘Try and kiss me, manjuu, and I’ll kick you into next week.’
‘Mokona should’ve known,’ Mokona babbled, ‘that Fai-mommy wouldn’t cheat.
Because Mokona thinks Daddy’s pretty hard to beat!’
Fai only smiled, and Kurogane muttered ‘yikes’,
Mokona turned to him, ‘And Fai’s the only one too, that Kuro-daddy really likes?’
‘Of course n-’ Kurogane started, ready the accusation to deny,
But Mokona wibbled most dramatically, and once more threatened to cry.
‘It’s Christmas,’ Fai chided gently, and if there was hope in his gaze
It was covered quickly - the mage’s heart truly was a strange maze.
‘I don’t need Christmas,” Kurogane started a new sentence anew.
And then a little more quietly, ‘…I don’t hate you.’
Fai smiled brightly, Mokona cheered once again,
Pleased to see her ‘parents’ once more right as rain.
She then turned to nothing in particular, ‘See, Mokona was right!’
And then an image of Yuuko appeared in the night.
‘So Mokona was,’ said the witch, as Mokona cheered, ‘Mokona’s never wrong!’
Kurogane spluttered, Fai got it and asked: ‘…So you knew all along?’
‘Of course Mokona knew~!’sang Mokona, as if there really was any doubt,
‘Fai-mommy is faithful!’ …At which point ‘Santa’ began to shout:
‘When I get my hands on you -’ ‘Eek!’ Mokona then cried,
And then leaped onto Fai’s shoulder to find a good place to hide.
‘Kuro-chan,’ Fai smiled, ‘it’s the season - goodwill to all men.’
‘That’s a meatbun,’ Kurogane hissed. Yuuko smiled, ‘Kurogane, then
You won’t mind me sending these to Tomoyo?’ And held up in the air
Pictures of Fai and ‘Santa’ (with clothes quite obviously not there).
Kurogane paled, ‘Where-?’ Mokona peeped, ‘Mokona’s a super spy!’
‘Oh,’ Fai too was speechless, Yuuko smirked, ‘Yes, oh my.’
Kurogane dived for Mokona, Mokona took off at a run,
Kurogane yelling and screaming death for the meatbun.
Sakura and Syaoran were woken, and came down from bed,
And naturally inquired why Santa wanted Mokona dead.
‘Communication difficulties,’ was all that Fai would say,
And then Mokona bounced past them, still bounding on her way,
Kurogane scrambling after. Sakura: ‘Why is Yuuko-san here?’
Kurogane: ‘She’s a pervert.’ Fai: ‘We have beer.’
‘Beer?’ Queried Yuuko, Fai hurried the children ahead,
As Kurogane yelled, Fai put the kids back in bed.
‘Merry Christmas,’ Fai greeted the witch, when ‘Santa’ paused for breath.
And Kurogane scowled at him also, a glare fit for death.
‘Merry Christmas,’ Yuuko replied with a smile, ‘and to all a good night.’
She had what she wanted, so she vanished from sight.
Kurogane cursed and Mokona bounced away whilst the ninja was distracted,
Hoping the call for her life had finally been retracted.
‘Kuro-santa,’ Fai purred, and went to sit on the man’s lap,
Reaching up to replace Kurogane’s missing cap.
Kurogane smirked as Fai drawled out his ‘I’ve been good all year~’,
Winding his arms round the man’s neck, and breathing against his ear.
‘Tell me what you want, then,’ the ninja drawled back.
Fai plucked at his shirt, ‘Then tell me - what’s Santa got in his sack?’
Kurogane only glared, and Fai saw Mokona once more herself back had borne.
Both men sighed - Mokona shrugged, unrepentant. ‘Yuuko says she wants porn.’
And so concluded Christmas Eve, with yelling and shrieks,
A holiday for sure the ‘family’ would remember for weeks.
Fai and Kurogane got no sex; Mokona and Yuuko were proved right,
And Sakura and Syaoran blushed themselves to sleep - so for all, a usual night.
END.