“My Fliptentions” The Follow-up
Hi Lj,
First flipside was great hands down, and I have no doubt I will be retuning next year. However there are some things that I have to deal with from flipside that I had not expected, and need to work through.
Recapping my list:
Let go of the last of my worries that people won’t like me. (Mostly done, this did come up a few times this event)
Relax and not worry about all the details I missed (stressed over some details, but I say this one is mostly good)
Meet a lot of new people and flirt with most of them (I met a few new people, but only flirted with the ones I already knew)
Find People to help fill my art van “the steel chest” with fine “booty” (In the sense of the word I had intended this was not accomplished. Several women spent time napping in my van cause it was quiet comfy and relatively cool.)
Try to find some “booty” for myself in the process (as above statement, I did not accomplish this in the sense I was intending. However I did get to spend time with what I would consider the most precious person I knew at the whole event. And since the term in its traditional sense more refers to valuables, I say that in a way I had the greatest “booty” ever)
Dance a lot (including in a go-go cage) (mission accomplished ;) and thanks to those who applauded and raved about my strip tease performance)
Swim as much as I can (Also mission accomplished, the creek was the only place to really be comfortable during the heat of the day)
Stop in and wave at as many theme camps as I can. (Holy moly there were more of them than I could have imagined, but I stopped in at a whole lot and it was awesome)
I got to see so many cool things, and there was so much amazing music around. The land and creek were beautiful, and the people were amazing. The weather was a bit rough, the heat was intense and the ants where everywhere. But overall it felt right to be there, I truly did feel “home”
Now here comes the Issues that have my brain whirring since it’s over. (Names and specifics omitted for respect of privacy)
As referenced above I did get to spend time with someone, while this naturally a great thing. I have found this person very interesting and great to spend time with, also a wonderful thing. And I feel through our interactions and conversation we have become much closer. Now here comes the but, this person has made it known that there life cannot support a new lover.
While I am not exactly sure where that boundary lies for them, this causes some distress. I try to keep in my mind all the wonderful experiences shared together this weekend, but there is a place in myself that wonders “what now?” On one hand I know that I will be able to keep in contact with this person, and I know that there is the potential for, and likely will be, an amazing friendship. On the other hand I look at the amazing desire this person stirs within me, and would greatly like to explore that further with them.
I feel very conflicted, I do not want to add undo stress to their life, but I want them closer to me as well. Maybe this is all my muddled frustrations, desire for attention, and the energy of the moment contributing to a one sided fantasy? Then again what if it’s not, what if this is the spark of something that could be truly magical? It almost feels like all i can do is refocus myself and just let the weekends events live in blissful memories for now.
I think I should try and connect with this person again in the future starting with a friendly level. And I will just have to see where Fate/Destiny/the universe have out there for us. To me that seems like a good way to see what they feel about everything and what there boundaries and desires for me are. My hope for this would be that at the least we could make great friends with fond memories of the past. Although my true desire seems to be a more lasting connection, but i fear that I may be jumping to far or to fast for that. Perhaps if more things line up, I might someday have a deeper connection with this person.
I post this message to my little slice of the universe, and maybe I can get some thoughts or ideas from those who likely know me better than I currently do.
First flipside was great hands down, and I have no doubt I will be retuning next year. However there are some things that I have to deal with from flipside that I had not expected, and need to work through.
Recapping my list:
Let go of the last of my worries that people won’t like me. (Mostly done, this did come up a few times this event)
Relax and not worry about all the details I missed (stressed over some details, but I say this one is mostly good)
Meet a lot of new people and flirt with most of them (I met a few new people, but only flirted with the ones I already knew)
Find People to help fill my art van “the steel chest” with fine “booty” (In the sense of the word I had intended this was not accomplished. Several women spent time napping in my van cause it was quiet comfy and relatively cool.)
Try to find some “booty” for myself in the process (as above statement, I did not accomplish this in the sense I was intending. However I did get to spend time with what I would consider the most precious person I knew at the whole event. And since the term in its traditional sense more refers to valuables, I say that in a way I had the greatest “booty” ever)
Dance a lot (including in a go-go cage) (mission accomplished ;) and thanks to those who applauded and raved about my strip tease performance)
Swim as much as I can (Also mission accomplished, the creek was the only place to really be comfortable during the heat of the day)
Stop in and wave at as many theme camps as I can. (Holy moly there were more of them than I could have imagined, but I stopped in at a whole lot and it was awesome)
I got to see so many cool things, and there was so much amazing music around. The land and creek were beautiful, and the people were amazing. The weather was a bit rough, the heat was intense and the ants where everywhere. But overall it felt right to be there, I truly did feel “home”
Now here comes the Issues that have my brain whirring since it’s over. (Names and specifics omitted for respect of privacy)
As referenced above I did get to spend time with someone, while this naturally a great thing. I have found this person very interesting and great to spend time with, also a wonderful thing. And I feel through our interactions and conversation we have become much closer. Now here comes the but, this person has made it known that there life cannot support a new lover.
While I am not exactly sure where that boundary lies for them, this causes some distress. I try to keep in my mind all the wonderful experiences shared together this weekend, but there is a place in myself that wonders “what now?” On one hand I know that I will be able to keep in contact with this person, and I know that there is the potential for, and likely will be, an amazing friendship. On the other hand I look at the amazing desire this person stirs within me, and would greatly like to explore that further with them.
I feel very conflicted, I do not want to add undo stress to their life, but I want them closer to me as well. Maybe this is all my muddled frustrations, desire for attention, and the energy of the moment contributing to a one sided fantasy? Then again what if it’s not, what if this is the spark of something that could be truly magical? It almost feels like all i can do is refocus myself and just let the weekends events live in blissful memories for now.
I think I should try and connect with this person again in the future starting with a friendly level. And I will just have to see where Fate/Destiny/the universe have out there for us. To me that seems like a good way to see what they feel about everything and what there boundaries and desires for me are. My hope for this would be that at the least we could make great friends with fond memories of the past. Although my true desire seems to be a more lasting connection, but i fear that I may be jumping to far or to fast for that. Perhaps if more things line up, I might someday have a deeper connection with this person.
I post this message to my little slice of the universe, and maybe I can get some thoughts or ideas from those who likely know me better than I currently do.