(no subject)
i dont know where to start. friday-- i wont go there. saturday- nope, not there either. last night- well theres something to talk about. 2 1/2 hours and i feel like the most beautifullest, intelligent, loved woman in the whole wide world. i'd be lost without him. well, not lost, just feeling a bit empty. i'm happy, it probably doesnt show that well anymore, but i'm happier now than i've been for the past week. things are going to perfect. God wiling they actually work out. oh my gosh i just cant help it. i do. i know i do. i'm in. i'm fallen. its so hard to eat. i feel like i'm going to throw up. i shouldnt have eaten that much turkey. and last night i ate 2 hotdogs and 2 s'mores and i was feeling it. oh my gosh. i just can stop feeling shaky. my hearts racing. sweaty palms. flushed face. i'm not going to say it. i cant yet. do you know how much more it would mean in person? we promised. and i can wait till june. i highly doubt he'll make it for prom. i'd rather him not even try. not that i dont want him here. i'm just not in the mood to go. whatever. no big deal. i'd much rather go for a walk down the 4-wheeler trail to under the bridge and sit on the rocks with our feet dangling in the water and holding each other watching the sun set. hmm *warm fuzzy*. happy me. i really dont want to get a job. i need to. but it'll suck, there are some stupid people out there, but if i can just look past that then maybe things wont be so bad. i finished my scholarship essay. i think it sucks, but hey. i'm just gonna mail it and fly with it. i did most of my laundry this weekend. i attempted to do my math but i cant figure out what i'm doing wrong. i'm not stressing over it. which for me is a big accomplishment. i cropped some pictures for yb. i really want to finish it this week. i have a feeling we wont but it never hurt to hope. i feel like painting my fingernails and toenails. i want to get my nose pierced the last weekend in april, like the 30th. will you come with me? pwease:)