I need to remind myself...
I think that there is a virus going around on the internet. Not one that screws up your pc, but one that attacks people.
I cannot tell you how many people I know that are all saying and feeling the same thing...including myself. We are feeling disconnected, that no one cares.That we just want to vanish, this and that, this and that. I am hearing it from EVERYONE...and sadly, I've felt and continue to feel that way myself. I think the one thing that anyone fails to realize is that ONE...they are not alone in feeling that way...all the time. and TWO...that self pity or focusing on it is not going to get them anywhere. I need to remember the latter one more.
I have friends who tell me that I am being stupid that I am not alone and all these things...and most of the time I forget what they say. I shouldn't. I need to remember that they are right and not let my own bad thoughts keep me down.
One thing I can say for myself, and no, this is not an excuse...is that I have a bad case of OCD and Anxiety. I think that ANYONE with my last two years would have it. I moved out of my parents house at 17, on my own penny, started my adult life, went to a high pressure college on full scholarship *Which reads to mean you work harder then alot of other students* and my mother died. In the first few months of that transitional period. It was really hard. I am in a high pressure major...Opera Singing...I need to make my school feel they're money's worth..and I have no support from family and live on my own. These are very stressful things, and it only makes sense that I have developed anxiety problems. I already had the OCD because of the abusive household at my fathers.
NOW...do I let this get me down? Not so much. Sure, I have my fits and my moments, and it hurts me in a lot of ways, but I manage to keep mostly everything together mostly all of the time. I am very lucky that I have a man who not understands how I am feeling, but who does his best to tolerate it and help me through it. This is not a way that I will feel for my entire life. I will get past it and life will be wonderful. Life is always wonderful, even if you're depressed.
THAT is something people need to remember!!! LISTEN UP! I'm tired of being self destructive, of holding myself back because of things or my own self pity. I am NOT the only one with problems nor will I ever be. One persons problems are not more important then my own, nor is it the other way around. Life is beautiful and wonderful and there are plenty of people who love, help, support, and wish the best for me. If I am too blind, or too self absorbed to see it, then it is my own problem and i DESERVE WHAT I GET.
Self pity gets you no where. Sometimes we all just need a swift kick to the pants and a reminder.
-SB
I cannot tell you how many people I know that are all saying and feeling the same thing...including myself. We are feeling disconnected, that no one cares.That we just want to vanish, this and that, this and that. I am hearing it from EVERYONE...and sadly, I've felt and continue to feel that way myself. I think the one thing that anyone fails to realize is that ONE...they are not alone in feeling that way...all the time. and TWO...that self pity or focusing on it is not going to get them anywhere. I need to remember the latter one more.
I have friends who tell me that I am being stupid that I am not alone and all these things...and most of the time I forget what they say. I shouldn't. I need to remember that they are right and not let my own bad thoughts keep me down.
One thing I can say for myself, and no, this is not an excuse...is that I have a bad case of OCD and Anxiety. I think that ANYONE with my last two years would have it. I moved out of my parents house at 17, on my own penny, started my adult life, went to a high pressure college on full scholarship *Which reads to mean you work harder then alot of other students* and my mother died. In the first few months of that transitional period. It was really hard. I am in a high pressure major...Opera Singing...I need to make my school feel they're money's worth..and I have no support from family and live on my own. These are very stressful things, and it only makes sense that I have developed anxiety problems. I already had the OCD because of the abusive household at my fathers.
NOW...do I let this get me down? Not so much. Sure, I have my fits and my moments, and it hurts me in a lot of ways, but I manage to keep mostly everything together mostly all of the time. I am very lucky that I have a man who not understands how I am feeling, but who does his best to tolerate it and help me through it. This is not a way that I will feel for my entire life. I will get past it and life will be wonderful. Life is always wonderful, even if you're depressed.
THAT is something people need to remember!!! LISTEN UP! I'm tired of being self destructive, of holding myself back because of things or my own self pity. I am NOT the only one with problems nor will I ever be. One persons problems are not more important then my own, nor is it the other way around. Life is beautiful and wonderful and there are plenty of people who love, help, support, and wish the best for me. If I am too blind, or too self absorbed to see it, then it is my own problem and i DESERVE WHAT I GET.
Self pity gets you no where. Sometimes we all just need a swift kick to the pants and a reminder.
-SB