Protect Me, Love Me - Chapter 22
Chapter 22
“Coping and Explaining”
Disclaimer - I do not own Four Brothers
Pairing - Bobby/Jack
Rating - M
“Talking”
‘Thinking’
x-x-x-x
~~~~~~ Bobby’s POV
The shot fired out and Bobby closed his eyes, only to open them and blink. The bullet was in front of him, suspend in mid air, and the air around the was whirling. “Jack?” he asked and saw his little brother’s eyes were open and were… glowing… they were glowing a deep metallic blue.
Two people came through the windows and Bobby looked up as Seth and Kerra stood there panting. “Jack…” Seth whispered but Jack was locked on Marcus who was glaring. “I knew it… all those years I took you.. you screamed and begged and pleaded but I knew you really liked it.” Marcus taunted and then it happened, and Marcus froze.
The air around Jack turned to fire and lashed out; Seth grabbed Bobby and Angel while Kerra grabbed Jerry and they dove to the windows, their wings keeping them suspended. “NO we can’t leave him!” Bobby shouted as he looked down to see Jack still sitting in the same place.
Seth shook his head “We can’t stay, I’ll come back.” He whispered and flew out the window. As they got a few feet away the building erupted in blue fire and Seth dropped to the ground, Kerra right behind him. “Jack!?” Seth screamed and went to take off but the building explode in blue fire. “Seth you can’t go back in there!” Kerra said but Seth was already off.
Bobby watched the building like a hawk; Kerra, Angel, and Jerry beside him also watching and listening. From inside the building they could hear screaming of burning men but they didn’t see or hear Jack or Seth. He was numb he thought… everything he’d just seen and heard had made him want to kill someone but at the same time he wanted to curl around Jack and make sure no one could ever hurt him again.
“There!!!” Kerra screamed and Bobby looked up and saw Seth, wings spread, carrying Jack in his arms. They landed and Seth coughed and panted, rolling on his side as Jack curled into himself and closed his eyes. Kerra knelt beside them and checked them over.
“We need to get outa here… come on,” she whispered helping Seth stand but Jack didn’t move so Bobby picked him up and held him close. Jack felt like he did when he was younger and Bobby made a mental note to shove food down his brother’s throat.
They walked to Jerry’s SUV which Kerra found and Kerra drove to the Mercer house. “Wait… he said he got guys watching…” Jerry started, coming out of his numb state a little, but Kerra shook her head,
“Already taken care of. We stopped there before we came here so nothing would happen to them while we took care of this.” She said turning down a street.
~~~~~~~~Jack’s POV
Jack was curled on Bobby’s chest when he regained consciousness and he blinked and looked around. “Jackie? You awake?” he heard Bobby ask and nodded silently before laying his head back down and closing his eyes.
“We’re goin’ home… it’s gonna be ok now.” Bobby whispered, quietly, and kissed his hair. Jack wanted to believe him but memories from what happened assaulted him. They knew now.. knew what kind of freak he was and now… Gods now what?
When the SUV stopped Jack felt Bobby grip him and then he was being carried into the house. “I’ll fix the house.” Kerra said and Jack felt Bobby look at her confused but when things started to move and fix themselves Bobby quickly went upstairs.
The bathroom walls surrounded him and Jack felt Bobby put him down on the toilet seat. Blinking he leaned forward and put his head in his knees, as he heard Bobby turn on the water and filled the bathtub.
“Come on, Jackie…” he heard and felt his brother try and lift him but shook his head and backed up. “Jack… Jackie it me… hey?” Bobby called and Jack looked up at him and saw his eyes and turned away, shame and guilt clawing at him.
“Up Jack… come on, you look like shit, man.” Bobby said and stood him up and pulled at his pants but when he went at Jack’s boxers; Jack backed away, eyes wide and back in the present. He looked around, saw the full bathtub, then looked at his brother.
“Oh, come on, Jack it’s not like I’ve never seen you naked!” Bobby snapped, frustration and annoyance in his voice. Jack’s eyes went wide and he stared at Bobby in shock; shocked that his brother would bring that up now.
He watched Bobby blow out a breath and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Fine… I’ll turn around.” Bobby muttered rolling his eyes, before turning his back on Jack. His body hurt so as he bent over Jack bit his lip to keep from crying out. He was sore and bruised… drained and tired… and all he wanted to do was sleep.
Slowly getting into the tub Jack sat down, not being able to help the relieved breath to sigh out, the warm water soothing his aching body.
Bobby must’ve heard him because he turned around and moved around getting a plastic cup their ‘ma always kept under the sink.
Jack watched, bringing his knees to his chest, and couldn’t help but feel foolish as Bobby soaked his hands then filled the cup with water and moved to wash Jack’s hair. “Calm down, just relax…” Bobby muttered and Jack closed his eyes and let himself be moved around.
After washing his hair twice and getting the grim and blood all out Bobby set to work on carefully washing his bruised back. “Jesus…” he heard Bobby mutter and shifted to look behind him.
When he realized what Bobby was muttering about Jack turned back around and put his head on his knees. His back was covered in bruises, cuts, and welts from the beatings he took from his ‘father’. Eyes slipping shut Jack felt his body relax as Bobby carefully washed his back and sides.
“Hey, come on, I gotta get to your chest.” He heard Bobby say, felt Bobby try and uncurl him, and stiffened up again as he remembered his chest bring cut open, his bloody heart, his screaming. “Jack, come on, I gotta see…” Bobby said firmly and gripped his arm and uncurled him.
Jack whimpered and turned away from his brother as Bobby laid him in the tub, the water just barely covering him. “You know, after this you’re still gonna have to take a shower just to let clean water wash away all the dirty water.” Bobby said trying to fill in the silence, but Jack ignored him.
Flinching when Bobby first started washing his chest Jack winced and bit his lip. “Sorry..” he heard his brother mumble but looked away, not saying anything. He felt so ashamed… ashamed of everything… all that his brothers had found out about him and he knew, in the morning, there would be some explaining to do. When his chest was clean of all dried blood and dirt he felt Bobby pause and looked at him.
Watching as Bobby licked his lips and opened his mouth Jack shot him a confused look only to have his eyes widen when he realized what made his brother pause.
Sitting up quickly Jack wrapped his arms around his middle “I got it… can you… can you leave?” Jack asked him, glancing at him, looking away when he saw the hurt and pained look in Bobby’s eyes. He felt it when Bobby left, not even heard him, but litterly felt him, Bobby’s presence leaving him.
When the bathroom door shut Jack stood up and, after letting the water go down the drain, he turned on the shower to scalding and winced before scrubbing his body. Memories of what happened slowly filled his mind; waking up alone and scared, in the dark, then seeing the boogieman and his ‘people’.
The beating he took from him as his ‘father’ screamed at him for disobeying him and running away. Seeing his brothers and being held down and having his chest sliced open… his ribs cut open and heart cut out… dying. Hearing his ‘father’ finally realize that it was Bobby who was his mate… and now, if they didn’t know before, his brothers, Bobby especially, knew what was going on now… or some of what was going on.
Scrubbing his scalp until it felt like it was gonna bleed Jack scrubbed his legs and crotch as he remembered him telling his brothers about the rapes. They always got off on humiliating him and the others.
When they realized him and Xan were close they tied them together, facing each other, and made the one watch as the other was raped and beaten… then the other way around. It was horrible and embarrassing… but that was the point right?
But now his brothers, Bobby, knew how disgusting and unclean he was… how he was nothing… used… dirt.
Jack snapped back to the present and leaned his head on the tile in front of him as the water started to cool off. When it was freezing he stayed under as punishment of sorts, needing to be punished for being so weak and disgusting. ‘Fuck.. I can’t even die right!’ he thought with a sob; why would anyone want him?
Now his brothers knew about him… about everything, or close to everything, and Seth was probably filling in blanks and getting his own questions.
Turning off the water Jack stood there, dripping wet, and contemplated what he was gonna do next. He wanted to go back to Chicago to his band and pretend none of this ever happened, that his mother was still alive and that he wasn’t going to be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life.
Now, though, he knew for a fact that none of his brothers were going to let him just walk out and leave so he had to figure out a plan… he also knew that they were going to be wanting answers so that opened another can of worms.
As he tried to think about it though his mind just fogged up and all he could do was sob.
He wanted Xander… he wanted his mother… why did the only two people in the world, he knew he could talk to, leave him? He didn’t want any of his family to die but of all of them why Xander and ‘ma?! His thoughts screamed and sobbed.
Getting out of the shower Jack pulled a towel around his waist and dried off partially before slowly walking out, making sure no one was around.
Walking to his bedroom Jack pulled on boxers, black sweats, the t-shirt of him and Xander, his hoodie, then socks. He grabbed the necklace around his neck and just thanked god that no one had taken it off him; his rosary was missing but he knew Bobby probably had it and part of him wanted to ask for it back.
Wrapping his arms around himself, Jack walked out of his room and into his mom’s room and looked around. Memories of the first time he saw her filled his mind, the first time he called her ‘ma, when he first started to trust her.
Crawling onto her bed he pulled her pillow to his face and breathed in her scent; his senses taking it in and storing it away. Sobs filled his throat and he suddenly felt like he was being crushed; he couldn’t stay here the night, he knew that they were going to question him tomorrow, and he wanted a place he could really sleep.
Picking up the pillow he brought it back to his room and pulled on his shoes and jacket before climbing out the window and jumping to the ground. Looking back at the house Jack jogged down the street to the Barlow’s house. He knew from the his mother that the never moved, nor did they touch Xander’s room.
When he got there he was panting lightly, his body aching from the stress he was putting on it. Going over to the side of the house he climbed up the vines and ledges to Xander’s old room. He was quiet and careful, moving fast and with agility.
Soon he was in the bedroom and he gripped the pillow to his chest as he looked around. There was dust covering every inch of the room and Jack waved his hand, watching as a giant glob of dust seemed to swirl in the air, and flicked it out the window.
Going over to the bed he pulled down the covers and climbed in he laid his head on Xander’s pillow, wrapping his arms around his mothers, and tried to breathe. He stared in the darkness for a while, knowing he was going to get hollered at by his brothers tomorrow but he really couldn’t care. His sore body was aching again and his muscles felt like they were pulled from running over here. As his eyes slipped shut all he could think about was how much he wanted to do over the past couple of years.
~~~~~~
Jack woke to people talking around him and shifted, and heard silence, before curling in a ball around the pillow in his arms and sighing. “Jack? Jack, you need to wake up now, I called your brothers so they’re on their way to pick you up.” He heard and confusion filled him. Slowly his eyes blinked open and he took in where he was and closed his eyes again and buried his head in Xander’s pillow with a whimper.
“Thank you, Mrs. Barlow…” his dry and scratchy voice must’ve startled her because he felt the bed jump. “You know, you should come around more often… we miss seeing you here.” Her soft voice cut through him and he felt his bottom lip tremble and tears slowly drip down his face.
He felt her get up and when she was at the door she paused and looked back at him “Alex… he loved you… so much Jack… he would’ve wanted you to live, and so would your mother.” She said before leaving, closing the door behind her.
Laying there Jack felt like someone just sat on his chest and he turned over, on his back, and stared up at the ceiling. That day Xander killed himself haunted him… it was his fault, he knew that. If he hadn’t been so fucked up on drugs and pills he would’ve been able to tear down Xander’s barrier and stop him. If he’d been stronger… better… then Xander would still be alive and if Xander was still alive then most of this fucked up shit wouldn’t of happened!
Sitting up slowly, his sore body protesting, Jack looked around before slipping his feet into his shoes and pulling his mom’s pillow to his chest. Looking at Xander’s pillow, which was covered in a blue-green tie-dye cover, he grabbed one and pulled it to his chest and put his mom’s over it. Getting up he walked to the window and sat at the window seat and stared out, waiting… they’d be here soon to take him home.
Right after he thought that Jerry’s car pulled up and into the Barlow driveway and Bobby got out, slamming the door behind him, Seth, Angel, and Jerry following him. Sighing Jack felt a weird sort of numbness fill him and closed his eyes as he leaned his forehead against the window.
Five seconds later a knock on the door made his face turn to the door but he didn’t get up. “Jack, they’re here… we’re coming in alright?” he heard Maria Barlow’s soft voice say and turned back to the window. When the door opened he heard all four of his older brothers come in.
“You know, the next fucking time you wanna go for a mid-night stroll you could at least fucking say something! Do you have any idea how worried all of us were!?” he heard Seth yell at him and Jack was surprised because usually it was Bobby yelling.
Someone gently grabbed his arm and lifted him up, carefully, “Come on, bro, we’re goin’ home, we gotta talk about some stuff.” He heard Angel mutter. He clutched the two pillows to his chest as he walked down the stairs, head bent low. Climbing into the SUV he sat down in between Angel and Jerry, while Seth and Bobby sat up front.
~~~~~
The car ride was not a long one but it was a strained one with the amount of questions and anger, hurt, and pain that was in the air. Jack ignored it all and stared out Angel’s window, clutching the pillows like a lifeline. “I want a cigarette…” he said and everyone glanced at him “You should quit.” Seth, Jerry, and Bobby replied and he glared out the window.
“I want a cigarette.” This time his voice was harder and when they went to say something else, Angel pulled out his pack of smokes he forgot in his room. “I figured you’d want these.” His brother said quietly and Jack was reminded of just why he liked Angel so much. No matter what his request was or how he was Angel always accepted him, never forced him into anything or made him do something or talk about something he didn’t want to.
Lighting his cigarette Jack closed his eyes as the nicotine filled his lungs ‘Not like its gonna kill me.’ He thought sarcastically and Seth glanced back at him.
“That brings up one of our major talks we’re gonna have, thanks for reminding me.” He said and Jack glared. “You don’t want me reading you then pull up your barriers… don’t act like such a baby Jack, you’re a hell of a lot stronger then you give yourself credit for.” Seth snapped, turning around again.
Bobby was driving into the driveway as Seth spoke and Jack felt his stomach drop as he realized they wanted to talk now. It took to much work to pull up his barriers and he didn’t want to deal with the headache he was going to have when he did.
He was on pills which dulled his empathy so he really couldn’t care less about anything else. He got out of the car, Jerry trying to help and Jack pushing him away angrily, and he threw his finished cigarette in the snow.
Walking into the house Jack looked around and had to admit Kerra did a good job restoring the place. He saw it from the outside, when Bobby ‘carried’ him in and saw how much damage there was before.
“Before we talk you need to eat something.” Bobby said glaring at Seth, when Seth opened his mouth. Seth glared right the hell back but didn’t say anything, knowing Jack needed food. Angel gently prodded him into the kitchen; but first took the pillows and put them on the bottom of the stairs
Sofi looked at him, when he walked into the kitchen, with wide eyes before putting a huge plate of eggs, bacon, pancakes, French toast, and buttered toast in front of him. Staring at the food with a little bit of shock Jack looked up and around and saw everyone was there staring at him; Bobby, Seth, Angel, Sofi, Jerry, Camille, and the girls.
“Uncle Jack?” he heard and turned to Amelia, who was clutching the fleece teddy bear in her arms. “Hey little girl…” he said and pulled her into a hug, where she laid her head on his shoulder. “Me too!” he heard and smiled when Daniela jumped at him.
He sat them in his lap and turned to the food “I think Sofi went over board, you guys wanna help me with all this?” he asked and saw their faces light up.
“I want the French toast!” Amelia shouted and Daniela called for the pancakes. Jack made a sandwich out of the toast, eggs, and some of the bacon. He didn’t look up when he felt their stares on him just did the little chit-chat with the girls about what was going on, what SpongeBob did this week, and little stupid shit like that.
~~~~~
When the food was gone Camille called the girls to leave with her and Sofi, while the girls whined and said they wanted to stay. Jack was the one, in the end, to talk them into going and he watched as they left to go… wherever Sofi and Camille were taking them. “You know they really look up to you.” Jerry said from in front of him and he nodded vaguely. He was sitting on the stairs smoking a cigarette and trying to get his wits up.
He saw all of them get there bearings together and looked away; this was not going to be a fun discussion. “You wanna start first or should I just ask a question and you answer?” Seth asked him and Jack shrugged as he finished his cigarette and put it in the cup of water he had.
Seth spoke before anyone else could “They said that … he … implied that-“ Bobby cut him off with a glare “He didn’t imply nothin’ that fucker said you tired to … that you tried to kill yourself!” Bobby said and Jack felt his cheeks burn with shame and embarrassment as he remembered the ‘conversation’.
He could feel their confusion and frustration and flinched a little. “I just wanted to know if I could.. obviously I couldn’t, so what?” he muttered as he crossed his arms over his chest defiantly.
“So what!? So what? What the fuck is a matter with you?! Are you insane or just plain, fucking, stupid!” Seth snapped, eyes flashing, and Jack’s head snapped up and he looked at his biological brother before looking away. “I had to know..” he whispered, shaking his head.
“You had to know? You had to know what?! Don’t you see how many people love you? For Gods sake, Jack… why would you do this?!” Seth asked, pacing in front of him. Before he could stop himself he thought ‘Because it’s my fault…’ and he saw both Kerra and Seth freeze.
Seth looked like he was in pain and covered his face with a groan. “What?!” Jerry asked, confused, but Seth looked at Jack and knelt before him. “It wasn’t your fault… you couldn’t of stopped any of this or what happened.” he said softly but Jack shook his head. “You don’t understand… you don’t get it!” Jack muttered standing up and pushing past him and making Seth stand too, following him.
“Then tell me!” Seth barked and Jack lost it “She’s dead!!! My mother is dead because of me! Fuck… it’s my fault! I should’ve been here!” Jack screamed at him then pointed to Kerra, “She won’t even look at me, and when you do you always have that look… like you feel sorry for me. You both know it! You both think it every time you see me, I’m not fucking stupid!” he snapped tears falling. He tapped his chest then curled his fingers around the dragon/cross.
“If I wasn’t so fucking messed up on who the fuck knows what then I could’ve tore down his barrier, and you know that!” he said and coughed out a sob. “It’s my fault and I have to live with that every minute of every fucking day.” Jack said, voice hoarse and pained, as he leaned against the wall in the living room and looked at them all.
Seth stared at him before shaking his head “So that’s it… you’re gonna let yourself die because you feel guilty? Open your eyes and look the fuck around because you aren’t the only one who does! Damnit Jack look at yourself! You’re fading away and why? Because you’re scared? Don’t you think I was?” Seth asked him and Jack slid down the wall, staring at him and shaking his head “Don’t, please Seth…” he begged softly.
Watching as Seth shot him a confused look, Jack watched as realization slipped into his eyes and he looked around at his brothers, at Bobby, with a look of shock. “They don’t know?!” he asked in a stunned voice and Bobby, fed up, snapped “What don’t we know?!” and Jack looked at his biological brother with wide eyes “Please… Seth, please don’t.” he pleaded but Seth shook his head and stared at him with a look of complete and utter dumbfounded-ness.
His older brother’s face slowly turned to anger “No wonder… all these years they didn’t do nothin’ as you constantly took off! You never fucking told them!” Seth yelled the last part at him, waving his hand at his three confused brothers.
“Why don’t you fucking tell us what he didn’t then!” Bobby snapped, his patience running thin. Seth nodded and went to open his mouth but Jack shook his head “No, don’t please don’t Seth.” He tried again.
Seth turned glowing green eyes on him. “We risked everything to keep you safe; we ran that night, not for us, but because of what they were gonna do to you! And, now, you’re gonna fucking sit here and tell me you were just gonna let yourself fucking die!?!!” he roared in fury.
Jack pulled his knees to his chest as Seth started “About 16yrs ago a girl was found, she was 21, and not mated so the council sent someone out to check on her. It seems that when she was 14 her parents moved into an apartment above a pedophile who was raping his little kids, seems she was so traumatized that she didn’t want to be mated.” He said to a confused Bobby, Angel, and Jerry who stared at him like ‘ok… so?’
“Shut up!!” Jack whispered glaring up at him, but Seth ignored him. “She was empathic so she felt it, felt the kids and the pedophile. Well when the council guy got there, he explained what would happen if she didn’t mate by her 24th birthday.” Jack cut him off “Shut Up!” he snapped and Seth turned to him and nodded “Fine you tell them! Tell them what happened to that girl! Tell them what’s gonna happen to you! Go ahead Jack, tell them!” Seth yelled.
When Jack didn’t say anything Seth stared at him before turning back to the brothers “On her birthday she was in a room with 12 other people and when her birthday came…” he trialed off shaking his head.
“The body can’t handle that much power which is why Flyer’s get mated as soon as they find their mate, because this is what the mate does! Ground the powers and keep them controlled… no one knows how or why but its what happens!” he said explaining and saw their faces start to get a little worried.
“At midnight her powers tore through the people in the room with her, trying to search for a way to ground themselves. None of the people in the room even knew what was happening, … people said they could hear the screaming from blocks over. None of those people could handle what her powers were doing to them, only the Flyer’s mate can, and they were ripped up… litterly ripped up.” He paused, taking a breath before continuing.
“The mate is picked subconsciously; someone who could or does love the Flyer and who the Flyer loves and feels safe with. The powers pick also; making sure the person will be strong, depending on how strong the Flyer is, so the person will be able to handle the powers as well.” He explained and saw them all gulp.
Seth turned to Jack tears in his eyes and voice choked “You wanna tell them what happened to that girl? I mean they should get ready, right, if they’re gonna have to watch it happen to you… Tell ‘em Jack… tell ‘em what happened to her.” He whispered and Jack clung to his knees and refused to look up. For a long second the room was filled with a tense silence only broken by their heavy breathing.
Finally Seth turned to the other guys, “Within a week she was driven insane… her powers reaching out and destroying anyone who came near her, trying to find her mate and ground themselves. Four days later her body couldn’t take it anymore and… and her powers tore her into pieces, litterly tore her into pieces.” He finished and there was silence afterwards.
“You’re gonna let yourself go through that because you’re scared? Because you feel guilty? Because you wanna die? You wanna die like that? Huh? Fine… fine…” Seth whispered before he grabbed his coat and left, slamming the door behind him.
Jack sat curled in on himself and stiffened when he felt Kerra kneeling in front of him. “Look at me…” she whispered and when he did she wiped his tears and shook her head.
“My brother loved you more then anything in this world.. don’t give up like he did, J. I never blamed you… it just hurt because I saw your pain and didn’t know how to help.” She whispered before kissing his forehead and getting up and leaving, the door closing behind her quietly.
End Chapter
Next chapter will be up soon!
~shadow