Protect Me, Love Me - Chapter 20 (Part 1)
Chapter 20
“Home Again”
Disclaimer - I do not own Four Brothers nor the songs that I say Jack wrote.
Pairing - Bobby/Jack
Rating - M
“Talking”
‘Thinking’
^Flashback^ - ^End Flashback^
x-x
The first song called ‘Life is Beautiful’ by Sixx A.M.
The second song is called ‘What I’ve Done’ by Linkin Park
The third song is called ‘Always’ by Saliva
The last song is called ‘Falling Into the Black’ by Skillet
x-x-x-x
Three and a half years passed for Jack, who was now 22yrs old,… the band was underground but was still popular in its own right. Things were good from the outside but on the inside Jack could feel himself start to wither. It was a week after he left that day, that he called home and talked to his ‘ma. She told him that Bobby left right after him, angry and hurt, and Angel left as well, leaving Sofi hurt and broken.
He set up a sorta schedule up with her though; every weekend, on Sunday, she would say she was going to church and then to a shelter to help out when, in reality, she would be coming to see him. For a few hours they would talk and Jack showed her all the songs and took her out to lunch and whatnot.
When asked if he would ever come back home Jack would shift and look down not answering. Jack knew that his ‘ma knew about the ‘mate’ thing and knew that he was dieing, which only made the time they spent together more sacred.
It wasn’t until a few months into their meetings that Evelyn showed signs of knowing about him and Bobby; and although she never said anything it was the look in her eye and the way she brought him up that made Jack worry.
Seth and Cecilia had moved to L.A. he found out and was starting a family. Seth was a computer programmer and Cecilia worked in customer services. They had a little boy they named Gavin who was a few months old and looked just like Seth.
Kerra and Tommy moved to Florida and was also starting a family; Kerra was a stay at home mom and Tommy played professional football, they had a daughter named Ally who was a year old. Jack wrote to them and sent them e-mails; both wrote back and sent him pictures all the time.
Right before Thanksgiving Jack was getting to the ‘meeting point’ that he met his ‘ma at. During the holidays they would always go back to his apartment and cook something, talking and sharing pictures.
Looking around the Chicago bus station café Jack blew on his hands and rubbed them together to keep them warm. Frowning he looked around again before looking at his watch and frowned even more. ‘Ma’s never late… she’s always early…’ he thought, worry starting to seep in his mind.
When he saw a car pull up to him he sighed in relief only to pause when he didn’t see his ‘ma but his older brother Jerry in the car. Mouth dropping open in shock Jack stood there in disbelief but a fluttering in his stomach kept him from running.
Jerry got out and walked over to him and they stood there for a minute “Hey, Jackie…” Jerry said and pulled him into a hug abruptly, catching Jack off guard. Wrapping his arms around his older brother Jack closed his eyes and breathed in Jerry’s scent. It had been so long since he had seen any of his brothers… which was the only reason why he wasn’t pushing Jerry away and running.
Pulling away Jack shook his head, “How are you here, ‘ma said she wouldn’t say nothin’ till I said it was ok!” he said getting angry. He narrowed his eyes when he saw Jerry look away,
“I found out ‘bout these meetings from her phone book… you gotta… there was a… um… Jack ‘ma’s…” he didn’t get to finish as Jack’s knees buckled out from underneath him. Jerry’s arms wrapped around his waist to keep him from falling and Jack shook his head “No.. no, no, no…. please God no.” Jack begged, tears falling.
~~~
It’d been almost three years since Jack had been back to Detroit and as he looked around he sighed, nothing had changed. It looked sadder though and as Jerry drove him to the cemetery Jack saw cars parked everywhere. “I found you just in time… Jack... Listen, Bobby might be there; I just thought you should know..” he heard Jerry say but he didn’t acknowledge him just stared out the window.
When the car stopped he got out mechanically and stood there for a minute not really believing what was happening. Jerry came up behind him and gave him a little push and Jack looked at him, face pale and eyes confused.
“I… I didn’t get to say goodbye…” he whispered to his brother and Jerry wrapped an arm around his shoulders and they walked to the ceremony. It hadn’t started yet and people were walking around, talking or crying. Camille gave him a brief hug then Jack went and sat down in a chair at the front.
Staring at the casket in a blank state Jack tried to wrap his mind around what was happening. Technically he did get to say goodbye because of the last time he saw her… but it wasn’t enough! He wanted to go back and make her stay with him so she wouldn’t have… so this wouldn’t be happening.
Someone sat beside him and Jack felt warmth flow through his body and he closed his eyes, tears falling. “Bobby…” he whispered a greeting to the person sitting beside him.
“Jack…” he heard but he didn’t turn his head… he couldn’t deal with this and seeing Bobby. But as warmth spread through his freezing body Jack couldn’t help the relief that flew through him.
He’d been so cold in the last year, getting more and more cold as the weeks passed. And here, now, Jack was warm and he felt guilty because in front of him was his mother, his dead mother, and he hadn’t felt this warm and safe in a three and a half years!
The funeral passed quietly and afterwards they went to Jerry’s so everyone could eat and drink and try to pretend this wasn’t happening. Jack stood across the street smoking a cigarette when Bobby came and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
“You ok?” he asked and Jack nodded, not saying anything, as he tried not to let the warmth fill his mind. “Come on let’s go see Jerry.” Bobby said and they walked to the house.
They were in the backyard and Jack gave a small smile when he saw Daniela and Amelia playing with their small dog. Bobby crouched down in front of them and as he made the ‘introductions’ Jack had to frown. He was a stranger to these two little girls who he loved so much and he felt shame fill him.
~~~
Afterwards; after Jerry, him, and Bobby got home to see Angel, he laid in his bed plucking at the guitar strings as a song started to flow through his mind. Pulling a notebook onto his acoustic Jack grabbed a pen and started writing;
‘You can’t quit until you try
You can’t live until you die
You can’t learn to tell the truth until you learn to lie
You can’t breath until you choke
You gotta laugh when you’re the joke
It’s nothing like a funeral to make… you… feel…
A-live…’
He started and put his head back and bit his lip before he continued with the song. When he was done he closed his notebook and picked up his guitar again and started stringing the song.
He looked up, though, when that warmth came to him again and saw Bobby standing in his doorway in a suit. Memories from years ago filled his mind and he swallowed as he remembered sweat slick skin on his and hands touching him.
“You cryin’ in here, you little fairy?” he heard and that’s what snapped him to the present and he rolled his eyes. “Leave it alone, man.” He muttered as he put his guitar to the side and pulled out his tobacco and rolled a cigarette.
Bobby glanced at him, then at his guitar, “You still makin’ a lota racket on that thing?” Bobby asked and Jack snorted and licked his lips “Ya… still makin’ a lota racket…” he said nodding a little with a small chuckle.
“Too weird in mom’s room?” he questioned and watched Bobby put his head back “Way to weird…” his older brother moaned and Jack snorted and shook his head. Jerry came to his bedroom door and looked at the two of them and chuckled.
“What?” Bobby snapped and Jerry shook his head “Nothing, man, just happy to see you. Just happy to see my brothers.” He said and Jack looked down again as he lit his cigarette.
It wasn’t until Angel left to go see ‘La Vida Loca’ as Bobby still called her did Jack look down at Bobby, who was still sitting on the floor. “You gonna sleep in here, huh?” Jack asked and saw Bobby look up at him. He snorted and shrugged as he got off the bed, he knew Bobby wasn’t gonna go back to ‘ma’s or his own room.
Stripping to his hoodie and boxers Jack got into bed and lay on his back and looked up at the ceiling. “I ain’t sleeping on the floor so move over.” Jack looked up at Bobby, who was standing over him, and swallowed.
“Bobby…” Jack started but Bobby rolled his eyes “Fuck you, Jack, just move over!” Bobby growled as he took off his button down shirt and tie, then his shoes and pants. Bobby was wearing a white tank-top and boxers as he crawled into bed behind Jack.
Trying to keep his breathing even Jack rolled so his back was to his brother and stared at the wall. He couldn’t believe it.. first Xander now ‘ma… tears slipped down his face and his breathing choked and became uneven as he tried not to cry. He felt Bobby try to turn him over and tried to resist but Bobby grabbed his shoulder and pulled him to his chest.
That’s when he broke down, big heavy sobs came out, and he gripped Bobby’s shoulders, his shirt, anywhere he could reach; trying to get closer. His heart was pounding and his body ached… he’d been dying for so many years, especially since Xander’s death, but his ‘ma was always there to keep him standing. Now what did he have…?
Bobby ran his fingers over his hoodie before he slipped his hand under his hoodie to feel his skin. Jack trembled when he felt Bobby touch his back and he felt himself calming down. His body tiring out but for once his body didn’t hurt as much… as his eyes slipped closed he felt Bobby kiss his head, then knew no more.
~~~~
It was the next night and Jack was pacing in his room, angry beyond belief. Not only did he find out that his mothers death wasn’t just coincidence but Bobby was a complete asshole! Laying on his bed Jack stared up at the ceiling and glared, his deep metallic blue eyes like blue fire. The earlier conversation came back to him and Jack glared harder:
^Flashback^
“Hey Jack?” Bobby called to him as he checked the turkey. “Let me ask you a question - it’s important.” He’d said walking over to him “Dinner almost ready?” and Jack looked up at him and nodded “Almost..” he had muttered and walked to the other side of the table and started fixing the table.
Bobby sat down and watched as Jack fixed the table together before he started “So?” Bobby asked. “Come out of the closet, yet?” the words had frozen him and made his teeth clench and anger shoot through him. Know matter how many times Bobby teased him about this it still hurt, especially since ‘that night’.
Jack had leaned against a chair and looked at his older brother “Don’t you think it’s ‘bout time for a new joke?” he’d asked and Bobby rolled his eyes.
“Look, Jackie, its all over the talk shows. You have to admit to yourself who you really are as a person, inside. If you’re homosexual, you think I care? I love you, man, you’re my brother!” Bobby and touched his chest, while Jerry and Angel watched from the living room.
He’d looked Bobby straight in the eye and put his hands on the table and lean over “Bobby, I guarantee you, that I’m banging way more chicks then you are.” He said and stuck out his tongue, showing off his tongue ring. Bobby raised an eyebrow “And they’re okay with you being gay?” Bobby chuckled and Jack lost his smirk and bit his tongue.
Jerry sat down across from where he stood and looked at him, shaking his head, “Why do you even let him bother you?” Jerry asked, nodding to Bobby, and Jack clenched his teeth and looked at him “Cause I’m not gay, Jerry!” he said vehemently.
Jerry glanced down, shaking his head, “All right…” he said, backing off a little, but Bobby chuckled. “That sounded pretty gay..” and Jack tried not to let his anger get to high.
“If you ain’t gay, then how come you got that big thick meat tenderizer in your tongue, man?” he’d asked; both him, Jerry, and Angel laughed. Angel coming over and leaning on the back of Bobby’s chair. Jack stared at them for a second before he threw down the napkins he’d been holding and stalked into the kitchen.
“Jack?” Bobby called to him but he kept walking. He heard his brothers stop laughing before, “Jack, I’m only kidding.” Bobby said and Jack sighed as he leaned against the counter.
“Hey Jack? Come on, man, I was only kidding. That tongue ring is very masculine.” Bobby said but Jack just looked at the fridge in front of him before putting his forefinger and thumb in his mouth and undoing his tongue ring.
^End Flashback^
Jack curled his tongue in his mouth, it felt weird without his tongue ring in. He never took it out unless he was changing it, he liked it and in a book, a …gay… book, he got from Conner it said all the things someone could do with a tongue ring.
He heard footsteps outside his door and flicked his fingers so his dresser moved to block the door, knowing who it was. “Jack? Oh come on I heard you just moving it! Jack, man, le’me in!” Bobby said knocking on the door.
“Bobby, man, leave me alone.” He called and heard the pounding stop and raised an eyebrow ‘It’s never that easy…’ he thought to himself. The next second he nearly jumped out of his skin when his window opened and Bobby came through. “See you don’t wanna le’me in I gotta find a way in for myself!” Bobby said.
Sitting up Jack crossed his arms on his bare chest, careful of the rosary, “What’d you want, now?” he snapped and saw the shock on Bobby’s face before it went blank.
“Jack… oh, come on you can’t still be mad! I was joking, damnit! When’d you become so fucking sensitive?” he asked and Jack glared before rolling on his side, his back to his brother. “Go away.” He snapped as he glared at the wall.
“Bobby, man, get out!” Jack snapped as he felt Bobby get into bed with him. “Nope! You never let me see this before…” he said and Jack stiffened when he felt Bobby’s fingers on his back tracing his tattoo.
“Whoa…” Bobby said and Jack felt goosebumps rise on his skin and closed his eyes, counting. “It’s nice…” Bobby said and Jack gave a jerky nod before pulling away and sitting up, “What do you want, Bobby?” he asked, his voice hoarse, and he pulled out a baggy of rolled joints.
“You ain’t really gonna smoke that shit with me here are you?” Bobby asked and Jack glanced at him then nodded to the door, where the dresser moved away from the door. “Door’s there, leave.” He said simply and saw Bobby narrow his eyes. Lighting his joint with his Zippo Jack closed his eyes and breathed in, bringing up his bare knees and laying his forehead on them.
He felt Bobby grab his joint and his head snapped up but stopped as he watched Bobby smoke a little before handing it back. He took his joint carefully and stared at Bobby silently before turning away and finished it before Bobby could take it again. “What, you don’t share?” his brother asked and Jack glanced at him. “It doesn’t work on me like it does you…”he said, laying back and looking up at Bobby.
When Bobby just gave him a confused look he rolled his eyes and licked his lips “I’m empathic remember? Well this dulls it sorta… kinda turns it off so I don’t feel nobody… and frankly I don’t wanna feel Angel and Sofi fucking.” He said with a disgusted look.
Chuckling when he saw Bobby’s horrified face Jack shook his head. “God I can’t imagine… all those times the three of us brought girls home, you felt that?” Bobby asked and Jack’s smile dropped and he stared up at the ceiling, remembering when he felt/saw Bobby and that one girl together. “Ya…” he muttered softly and felt Bobby lay down next to him.
He felt Bobby pick up the rosary on his chest and felt goosebumps again but didn’t look away from the ceiling. “You still kept this…” Bobby said softly and Jack turned away, onto his side, as he remembered the last time they had this conversation.
~~~~~~~ Bobby’s POV
Bobby felt Jack’s breathing even out and sighed as he let his head fall against the back of his baby brother’s. Contrary to popular belief he had kept in touch with his mother and he knew that ‘ma kept in touch with Jack.
She never said anything but that was just it; she never said anything… yes she was upset that Jack wasn’t around but it didn’t seem like she never saw him or talked to him. Bobby knew for a fact that if she didn’t she would’ve been in a lot worse shape.
Sighing Bobby looked at the tattoo on Jack’s back and snorted the dragon looked so… real, like it was watching you. He was amazed when he first saw it, the detail was amazing and he remembered that Jack said he had designed it.
He’d seen Jack’s reaction when he’d touched him and frankly Bobby didn’t know what to do about it. The pieces did come together after a while… after he learned that his little brother was a Flyer and that he hated what he was.
It made sense that Jack would call him the ‘enemy’, and why that night… that night years ago had such an affect on him. Then when he’d told Jack that it was a mistake and he was sorry… well that probably didn’t help. What he couldn’t understand was why Jack was fighting him.
Earlier, at dinner, when he teased him he’d seen the hurt look in his baby brother’s eyes and wanted to take it back. It was just teasing though, he’d always teased his brothers, why was Jack getting so sensitive now? And then, just before, using his powers in front of him.. Jack was a different person now… broken, Bobby could see it and it killed him.
Looking at Jack’s sleeping form now he touched the dragon tattoo and traced it down to the claws where the heart was clutched. There were little blood droplets like it was dripping down his spine. Bobby looked at the scars on his brothers back and remembered all the things he learned his little brother was put through before he was with them, with him, and he felt anger. He was tortured and raped because he was a Flyer! How could someone do that to a child?
There was a V looking scar that went from each of his shoulder blades to his tail bone and Bobby, unconsciously, traced one side. Shock froze him when a moan came from Jack and his little brother arched closer to him.
Swallowing Bobby pulled his hand away and tried to will away his sudden eraction. Wrapping an arm around Jack’s waist he let his hand go flat against his little brother’s stomach and closed his eyes.
~~~~
Bobby awoke the next morning to someone opening the door and blinked, yawned, and turned his head. Angel stood in the doorway with a shocked look on his face.
Blinking Bobby looked at him confused then felt the body next to him shift and rolled his eyes “Fuck you, its not like that!” he hissed and saw Angel raise an eyebrow before he left, closing the door behind him. It was then that he realized what kinda position they were in and rolled his eyes again.
Their bodies were touching everywhere, Jack’s right leg was ontop of his so his right leg was between both of Jack’s. He had his hand low on Jack’s hip, and he could feel the eraction straining in his brother’s boxers.
That was also when he noticed his own raging hard-on and sighed and tried to shift away without waking Jack, knowing his brother would flip if he realized the position they were in.
After getting out of bed Bobby left the room not wanting to be there when Jack woke, know if he was and Jack noticed his hard-on it would not be good… and they had shit to take care of today. Moving to the bathroom he closed the door and turned on the water and went to take care of his eraction.
End Part 1