It is the middle of the night
It is the middle of the night and I should sleep. Obviously I am not because I am up writing this. I used to journal a lot as a teenager. I had a lot to say and I really didn't feel anyone wanted to listen. Now that I am older - I still got a lot to say, but I don't say it. I don't write it. I just keep it inside, nestled into the corners of my brain. I wake up and go about my day and try to say as little about myself as possible. Sometimes I give a view point on some random topic, but I rarely discuess my feelings in depth. I don't talk about my past. I try not to live in it but every now and then memories play out in my head like a movie recording. It is not living in the past, it is more like living with some sort of recording that lacks a stop button.
I don't like talking about myself, or my past because people have a way of sizing a person up and forming negative judgements about them. Unvailing our insecurities makes other insecure and people are frightened by imperfections.I think I have spend most of my life being afriad of one thing or another. Mostly I have been hung up on how others must think of me. One negative judgement can make me feel bad for days and question my self worth. Fear blocks possibilities..
I don't like talking about myself, or my past because people have a way of sizing a person up and forming negative judgements about them. Unvailing our insecurities makes other insecure and people are frightened by imperfections.I think I have spend most of my life being afriad of one thing or another. Mostly I have been hung up on how others must think of me. One negative judgement can make me feel bad for days and question my self worth. Fear blocks possibilities..