Tell me why
The people that live below me smoke IMMENSE amounts of weed and I smell it everynight before I sleep and I have to lock up all my windows and seal everything but I still smell it! Honestly I think I am gonna be a grouchy neighbor and complain. I HATE pot... I honestly do.
So I have been thinking alot about how afraid of love I am and how afraid I am to actually SAY I am in love or anything really about it...this freaks me out.I am so odd about it I fear that the day before i get married i will be like, "oh yeah so I am getting married tomorrow... its gonna be cool you should come!" Ugh weird.
I think what bothers me the most about it is that I dont know if it really stems from anything. I mean...nothing traumatic in my love life has ever happened. Hell my LOVE LIFE has never happened. SO I just label myself as slightly freakish in the love department.
Today I had a long talk with an old friend who I honestly have not had one thing in common since the second grade. We are completely different but for some reason have always kept in touch. She fell in with the wrong crowd and never really came out of it. She started using drugs... I didn't. I accepted and totally still was her friend but never around. She cleaned up and is doing extremely well now. She called me today and it was bazaar since I haven't viewed her name on my phone screen in a good while. She started talking about how she has seen so many of her friends leave, turn there backs on her and bail. I guess she was talking to her boyfriend and realized that she could always call me and it would be like nothing happened our friendship was still fresh and that was awesome to hear. She was a huge part of the Holly that existed prior to the divorce and losing the house crap that turned me into this completely new person. She was there when my dad told me he was never coming home again. I dont know how to explain it but everything that I would have to talk about on some couch to a therapist she knows.
I haven't decided if that's a good thing or a bad thing considering I just shoved SO much of that aside for far too long.
bah. I am gonna go cuddle with myself and read my book. Almost done with it. YAY!
So I have been thinking alot about how afraid of love I am and how afraid I am to actually SAY I am in love or anything really about it...this freaks me out.I am so odd about it I fear that the day before i get married i will be like, "oh yeah so I am getting married tomorrow... its gonna be cool you should come!" Ugh weird.
I think what bothers me the most about it is that I dont know if it really stems from anything. I mean...nothing traumatic in my love life has ever happened. Hell my LOVE LIFE has never happened. SO I just label myself as slightly freakish in the love department.
Today I had a long talk with an old friend who I honestly have not had one thing in common since the second grade. We are completely different but for some reason have always kept in touch. She fell in with the wrong crowd and never really came out of it. She started using drugs... I didn't. I accepted and totally still was her friend but never around. She cleaned up and is doing extremely well now. She called me today and it was bazaar since I haven't viewed her name on my phone screen in a good while. She started talking about how she has seen so many of her friends leave, turn there backs on her and bail. I guess she was talking to her boyfriend and realized that she could always call me and it would be like nothing happened our friendship was still fresh and that was awesome to hear. She was a huge part of the Holly that existed prior to the divorce and losing the house crap that turned me into this completely new person. She was there when my dad told me he was never coming home again. I dont know how to explain it but everything that I would have to talk about on some couch to a therapist she knows.
I haven't decided if that's a good thing or a bad thing considering I just shoved SO much of that aside for far too long.
bah. I am gonna go cuddle with myself and read my book. Almost done with it. YAY!