Feelin' down
Wow, been a long time since I've posted anything on here. Though then again, no one ever really seems to read my journals anyways, whether on here or on FA. So I guess these journals are only ever for just getting something off of my mind or letting a load off of my chest. To speak my feelings whenever I'm feeling down, since I very rarely ever speak my mind as to why I feel down or depressed since I don't really like making others feel like they have to do something to cheer me up, or make them feel depressed either.
Right now I'm just feeling like between me and my brother, that I'm the one with the rather bad luck while my brother had the good luck when it comes to the rather big things. Such as when I was younger, my brother got to be in a civil war reinactment thing in 6th grade. Then when I get to 6th grade, the company that did the civil war reinactment thing was closed down so I never got to do it. Then my mom and dad spent about $2,000 for my brother to go to Florida on some high school program to learn more about dolphins and even swim with them. While me, I never got to do anything of the sort myself. While as far as the furre community goes, my brothers stories seemed to have made him moderately known among those who are into scat/vore/macro-micro stories and all. While the last story I posted never even got a single comment from anyone really. So I guess I just feel like my brother seems to get all the good luck and I never really get anything out of life.
Then theres the fact that usually at least 3 or more times a week I'll see some sort of gift art for someone online, sometimes some gift art for a friend I know to another friend that I know or other. Which doesn't really bother me at all, but when I know at least 8-10 artists for a year or more. I just wonder how much of a friend I'm considered by others. Sometimes I just feel like I'm just someone trying to fit in, to be someone whom others want to tell the world about. Whether through drawing, story or some other way. In the end I guess I just don't really feel appreciated, that I'm not considered a close friend or other. Even though i know there are those out there who care about me, I just can't help but feel this way sometimes. Whenever I'm feeling down I usually guard against letting others know the fact, rarely ever really telling anyone if I feel down and the reasons why. Thankfully I only ever feel like this maybe once or twice a month, sometimes fewer since I'm generally a cheerful person.
But another reason as to why I feel down, is that the only real way one can ever be recognized and known by any number of other furs, is to be a good artist who draws yiff/vore or whatever other people love to look at it. No one ever really seems to talk about the people who write the good stories. Which makes me feel as though the time I spent writing my story had gone for naught. That no one cares about whatever i do, whether drawing or writing or anything else for that matter. Thats just how i feel right now and when I'm feeling down, since these are usually the things that are circling about in my mind.
Right now I'm just feeling like between me and my brother, that I'm the one with the rather bad luck while my brother had the good luck when it comes to the rather big things. Such as when I was younger, my brother got to be in a civil war reinactment thing in 6th grade. Then when I get to 6th grade, the company that did the civil war reinactment thing was closed down so I never got to do it. Then my mom and dad spent about $2,000 for my brother to go to Florida on some high school program to learn more about dolphins and even swim with them. While me, I never got to do anything of the sort myself. While as far as the furre community goes, my brothers stories seemed to have made him moderately known among those who are into scat/vore/macro-micro stories and all. While the last story I posted never even got a single comment from anyone really. So I guess I just feel like my brother seems to get all the good luck and I never really get anything out of life.
Then theres the fact that usually at least 3 or more times a week I'll see some sort of gift art for someone online, sometimes some gift art for a friend I know to another friend that I know or other. Which doesn't really bother me at all, but when I know at least 8-10 artists for a year or more. I just wonder how much of a friend I'm considered by others. Sometimes I just feel like I'm just someone trying to fit in, to be someone whom others want to tell the world about. Whether through drawing, story or some other way. In the end I guess I just don't really feel appreciated, that I'm not considered a close friend or other. Even though i know there are those out there who care about me, I just can't help but feel this way sometimes. Whenever I'm feeling down I usually guard against letting others know the fact, rarely ever really telling anyone if I feel down and the reasons why. Thankfully I only ever feel like this maybe once or twice a month, sometimes fewer since I'm generally a cheerful person.
But another reason as to why I feel down, is that the only real way one can ever be recognized and known by any number of other furs, is to be a good artist who draws yiff/vore or whatever other people love to look at it. No one ever really seems to talk about the people who write the good stories. Which makes me feel as though the time I spent writing my story had gone for naught. That no one cares about whatever i do, whether drawing or writing or anything else for that matter. Thats just how i feel right now and when I'm feeling down, since these are usually the things that are circling about in my mind.