Twas the Massacre before xmas, reposted upon request
*** DISCLAIMER : This is fictional, don't need swat at my house ***
Twas the night before Christmas, thoughts stirred in my brain
Can I push the damn carolers, in front of a train?
The bell ringers all hung by rope from a tree,
No more red buckets outside stores, taking money from me.
The CEOs should all die while they sleep in their beds,
With their visions of dollar signs stuck in their heads.
And me wearing a kerchief to hide my face,
Could shoot all the sales people dead in their place.
The malls could explode and all the shoppers could splatter,
With all the rudeness they show, what would it matter?
Then away to the tree lots I flew straight away.
To set them ablaze to provide warmth this cold day.
The moon shines down on the now blood soaked snow,
I crack a wicked smile looking at the corpses below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A whole fucking swat team dressed in full riot gear.
So I jumped in my car, and drove away quick,
I wasn’t quite done, this holiday makes me so sick.
Rapidly they followed, so close I felt the heat,
So I took out some shoppers crossing the street,
Now Grandma! Now, Grandpa! Now Mom! and Dad!
Opps that girl was cute, oh well too fucking bad.
Up onto the Highway! Driving like a bat out of hell!
Causing major collisions, meh, oh fucking well.
As cars crashed behind me the death toll did grow,
The police crashed right with them, speed kills, you know?
Up and over the cars the police cars did fly,
As their lights flickered blue, to light up the sky.
Then from an onramp, more cars came to give chase,
Almost out of bullets, could I get to my place?
As I drew my gun, and fired a single round,
I could see the swat chopper, swooping in to the ground.
It was black and had guns, just ready to shoot,
So I barreled off the highway, gas pinned by my foot.
Trees lined the off ramp, forcing the chopper to bail,
Damn there goes a caravan, off into the guard rail.
Smiling wide with evil, I thought over my night,
Death on Christmas Eve, would be the headlines alright.
So remember before you stop me, with a fucking sales pitch,
Or cut me in line, you could be found dead in a ditch.
Remember some of us view Christmas with hatred,
SURE some of us should really be heavily sedated.
And while most people spend it loving and sharing
Some of us spend it without really caring.
So don’t tell me to have a Christmas that’s merry,
And I won’t fill it with bloodshed and make it so scary.
With a blink of my eye and a twist of your head,
You’ll go from “Merry Christmas” to just being dead.
Call me a scrooge, call me whatever you like,
I’ll just keep picturing your head on a pike.
Or maybe just crush your brain with your nose,
And no, I won’t be adorning your grave with a rose.
So in closing, you can take all your cheer this holiday,
And any fucking blessings you have to say,
Keep them and you décor far from my sight,
Fuck you and fuck Christmas, yeah I’ll be alright.
12/05 Shades
If you decide to post this somewhere give me credit lol
Twas the night before Christmas, thoughts stirred in my brain
Can I push the damn carolers, in front of a train?
The bell ringers all hung by rope from a tree,
No more red buckets outside stores, taking money from me.
The CEOs should all die while they sleep in their beds,
With their visions of dollar signs stuck in their heads.
And me wearing a kerchief to hide my face,
Could shoot all the sales people dead in their place.
The malls could explode and all the shoppers could splatter,
With all the rudeness they show, what would it matter?
Then away to the tree lots I flew straight away.
To set them ablaze to provide warmth this cold day.
The moon shines down on the now blood soaked snow,
I crack a wicked smile looking at the corpses below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A whole fucking swat team dressed in full riot gear.
So I jumped in my car, and drove away quick,
I wasn’t quite done, this holiday makes me so sick.
Rapidly they followed, so close I felt the heat,
So I took out some shoppers crossing the street,
Now Grandma! Now, Grandpa! Now Mom! and Dad!
Opps that girl was cute, oh well too fucking bad.
Up onto the Highway! Driving like a bat out of hell!
Causing major collisions, meh, oh fucking well.
As cars crashed behind me the death toll did grow,
The police crashed right with them, speed kills, you know?
Up and over the cars the police cars did fly,
As their lights flickered blue, to light up the sky.
Then from an onramp, more cars came to give chase,
Almost out of bullets, could I get to my place?
As I drew my gun, and fired a single round,
I could see the swat chopper, swooping in to the ground.
It was black and had guns, just ready to shoot,
So I barreled off the highway, gas pinned by my foot.
Trees lined the off ramp, forcing the chopper to bail,
Damn there goes a caravan, off into the guard rail.
Smiling wide with evil, I thought over my night,
Death on Christmas Eve, would be the headlines alright.
So remember before you stop me, with a fucking sales pitch,
Or cut me in line, you could be found dead in a ditch.
Remember some of us view Christmas with hatred,
SURE some of us should really be heavily sedated.
And while most people spend it loving and sharing
Some of us spend it without really caring.
So don’t tell me to have a Christmas that’s merry,
And I won’t fill it with bloodshed and make it so scary.
With a blink of my eye and a twist of your head,
You’ll go from “Merry Christmas” to just being dead.
Call me a scrooge, call me whatever you like,
I’ll just keep picturing your head on a pike.
Or maybe just crush your brain with your nose,
And no, I won’t be adorning your grave with a rose.
So in closing, you can take all your cheer this holiday,
And any fucking blessings you have to say,
Keep them and you décor far from my sight,
Fuck you and fuck Christmas, yeah I’ll be alright.
12/05 Shades
If you decide to post this somewhere give me credit lol