Some seeds for future posts

[shadesong]

Like I said, I've been talking to a lot of people in backchannels, waiting for the hosts' response before discussing more about it openly; I'd hoped for a better response from the hosts, but such is life.

So here are some seeds for future discussion.

"punished forever"This is a phrase one of my correspondents keeps hearing, in that people do not

Comments

[heavenscalyx]

Jesus Harriet Christ on a flaming motorcycle.

My expletive-full response to "punished forever".

And also

[drwex]

There's an old-school "the cops are our enemy" thing that steps in part from the 60s/70s and in part from the adversarial relationships MA police have historically had with kinky people.This is a true but incomplete picture. I know people who have been 'kettled' by police for engaging in peaceful political protest. I think we both know people from Occupy who had police bulldoze their things

Re: And also

[shadesong]

My hair always gets searched in airports, but yeah, my point is that we in the greater Boston geek community for the most part don't have a valid reason to fear police intervention. And in a case where I have been violently assaulted and needed police intervention at the time and afterward, I will call upon that intervention when he puts me in danger and I will not apologize for doing so.

I do think that a lot of Scott and Rachel's knee-jerk reaction = "police is our enemy". I honestly hope it is, because the alternative is worse.

Re: And also

[ron_newman]

Your hair gets searched? Wow, I didn't even realize that was a thing.

Re: And also

[jadasc]

Happened to me just a few weeks ago as I was leaving Chicago.

[swashbucklr]

I am very interested in thoughts about restorative justice, having seen these events happen before, and will likely see them happen again. Having a framework where I can say to someone defending an assailant or rapist that there is a way to justify that, but it requires the offender to actually do something themselves to make it right is very important in my brain for some reason.

Maybe because I feel like I have a lot of people I should be saying that to.

Always interested in consent culture stuff, btw.

[lawbabeak]

As someone who makes her living defending people accused of rape and other nasty things, let me say this: You don't get back into your social community until you own your shit. You don't get back into your social community until you take demonstrable action towards changing your behavior, and the behaviors that contribute to it. Do all that? You're on probation. You're on a short leash. Mess up once, and you're out, because we like our friends and aren't going to put them at risk for the sake of your ego

[shadesong]

I do take umbrage with your statement "...y'all are white. The cops aren't your enemy." With white folks, it's about class.

Point taken. Upper-middle-class white with advanced degrees, I ought to've said.

[moonfire77]

Re: the whole "punished forever" concept: in my mind, it's not about punishing anyone. I can only speak for myself obviously, but if I was interested in seeing my rapist punished, I would take a very different tack than not allowing him to be certain places. It's about safety; safety of the known victims, safety of potential targets. Safety of myself. Also respect, the idea that the hosts have enough respect for me and their other guests to not allow the possibility of anyone coming to harm. So yeah, punishment might possibly be on the list somewhere, but it's way down at the bottom after more important things like safety and emotional comfort.