The bittersweet cannot be avoided; it is all there is
Well, it's been a while. Maybe I've been feeling like I don't need this little box to blurt my problems, share my musings, and try to cope with the pain inside me.
Someone suggested a new relationship should help clear my head. So, after a while, I kind of thought of myself as available and somebody came along. She was good to me, and I think I was pretty good to her. We formed a relationship fairly quickly, and fairly deeply, although not nearly as deep as I have had rels.
About three weeks later, the twitches started again. I began to let show the dark inside me, my fractured psyche pushing forward for the point of alienation. I mean, it didn't work the way it wanted - I didn't drive her away crying through twitches and episodes.
No, I foresaw the pain, and withdrew to the point that basically precluded any growth. It's bittersweet, this note then, as I once more become alone. But then again, it is for the best.
It's kind of ironic, the way this shadwos my life: the best I can hope for, at least for a while, it is bittersweet feeling of being alone.
Someone suggested a new relationship should help clear my head. So, after a while, I kind of thought of myself as available and somebody came along. She was good to me, and I think I was pretty good to her. We formed a relationship fairly quickly, and fairly deeply, although not nearly as deep as I have had rels.
About three weeks later, the twitches started again. I began to let show the dark inside me, my fractured psyche pushing forward for the point of alienation. I mean, it didn't work the way it wanted - I didn't drive her away crying through twitches and episodes.
No, I foresaw the pain, and withdrew to the point that basically precluded any growth. It's bittersweet, this note then, as I once more become alone. But then again, it is for the best.
It's kind of ironic, the way this shadwos my life: the best I can hope for, at least for a while, it is bittersweet feeling of being alone.