(no subject)
Making friends is always something that has been difficult for me. I think that's because wherever I have lived, I have always felt that I'm an outsider. Not in a total "I don't fit in, everyone hates me/thinks I'm weird way", just in a way where I think others aren't very sure how to take me. For example, in Scotland, I was the quiet, brainy girl who went to church and didn't really care about crappy soap operas or going on Holiday to Ibiza as soon as I was 18 and was headed to some weird school in the USA for uni. I had friends at school, don't get me wrong, but I could never really relate to most of them and its only looking back 5 years after graduation that I realize just how kind of "odd" I was in comparison to my peers. I wonder what they would say about me now? When I got to Harding, I was one of the Scottish twins...thats how I was identified throughout my Harding days, which was fine - and true, obviously, but sometimes it created a barrier that made people unsure of what exactly to talk to me about. And I was never the best at initiating conversation. Thankfully, I made some really wonderful friends at Harding, girls that I consider sisters, and of course, my husband, and I have many dear friends back in Scotland (most of whom I did not go to high school with)...but now I'm in a new place where I know virtually no-one (coming up on 2 years) and I realize that I have to go through that whole awkward process of initiating conversation and getting to know people, which, for some strange reason (most of my family are very out going) is difficult for me. Perhaps once I get settled into grad school, I will meet some awesome people. It really got me down when I first moved here that I didnt know anyone - Church was awkward and my job situation at the time was even worse. Dallas is such a transient city and the people Clay and I got to know really well have headed elsewhere - and I know that likewise, we will not be here forever, I just haet the feeling that I am doomed to live my life in Seagoville.
My best friend in the city right now is an African American lady who is 10 years older than I, has two middle school aged children and is currently trying to repair her marriage with an alcholic/porn addicted husband. We work together and as surprising as this friendship was to me, I really enjoy spending time with her - she is so open and easy going. I envy her ability to talk so openly, regardless of the topic (and she is always respectful, never "in your face"). It just makes me laugh because I always expected to make friends with people who were in similar situations to myself, but that hasnt really happend yet. But I do believe I am in this area for a reason...just trying to figure that out right now!
I read back on my LJ to my college days where all I had to worry about were tests....and I moaned about professors, bitchy girls, politics, movies, Harding rules - did I really think the world was that small?? Its fun to look back at those days, I haven't thought about how much I really miss them, I was too busy trying to get done! What scares me is that I look at my Facebook, MySpace and Bebo* (YES..how sad that I have all 3 - I use Facebook the most, the others I have only as a way to contact family and friends that are literally half way across the world - don't judge me!! :0) and it scares my how "typical" my life probably comes across to others - young Christian girl who goes to a Christian college, meets her husband, graduates, gets married...". Everyone, particularly those in the South (you know its true), know how familiar that all sounds. Yes, it is a gross sterotype and only recently has it hit me that I am very much borderline - I never want to be that sterotype and will do everything in my power to not become it. The above list is not bad in and of itself (they are all very decent things to strive for), but it puts me into a mundane way of living that I just cannot and will not accept. There is so much more to life than just the successful, 9 to 5, fill a pew on Sunday way of living (I've had that rant in my past entries, and I will spare you that today!). All in all, these in between years of being a newlywed and seeing where we want to end up but not actually being there are getting to me. Patience, right? ;)
*Laura Vick Dougherty is the name I use on all those accounts, so if you are on my friends list, please feel free to add me. As you can see from this post, I really do enjoy making friends hehehe. No weirdos though, I do appreciate it!
*Working in a library will make you LOATHE MySpace when you realize that the majority of people who enter the library come to check MySpace (thus depriving genuine Internet users the ability to research online) and check-out dvds (the City of Dallas likes to think of itself as a rival to blockbuster, and where I work, it actually is...no-one comes in to actually USE the library, to my despair hehe)
People also keep asking me what I think about the Republican/Democrat VP nominations. On that topic, all I will say is this: The VP is such a non-entity politically that it is a waste of my time to even give that much thought on the topic. A female VP is a big deal...I guess...if only people geuinely CARED about the role of the VP in Politics, which they do not. We'll make a big song and dance about Palin if she wins, but then she'll go back to the "backburner" (lets face it, historically, its where the majority of VP's are) and will any of it really matter?? The answer is...NO! Won't matter a bit. Lets remember that we have a female Speaker of the House, which in my mind, carries about the same amount of political weight....do people really care? I mean, genuinely care, about the role of the Speaker of the House? Poltical Nerds like myself do, but thats about it. Unless there is ever a female President, there's nothing to really shout about. I'm all for seeing for more women in politics but even I can see what unecessary hype is surrounding Sarah Palin. Democrats - STOP focusing on attacking Palin and go back to attacking McCain. Thanks! That's all you get :)