This disease of modern life

[shades_of_joy]

OK guys, I really hope that whoever has been reading this and posting anonymously takes the time to read until the very end of this post. This whole string of comments (which yes, I have deleted) have upset me and hurt me a great deal, so please listen. I know I can't control what you say, but I would like to make the request that if you're going to spit acid at my friends, you do it somewhere else. It was a very good observation that "I think before you go dissing people you don't know, you might wanna know the whole story." You don't know the person who made that comment or who they were talking about, and you're being much, much worse than them for your hypocracy. If you know better, live it. Secondly, I feel like this is entirely my fault for not being clear enough in my post--I didn't think it was necessary at the time. The "certain guy" that both I and my friend were referring to was the guy I met at the Ren Faire this summer. Not a single one of you 3 know him or have the right to talk about him, so that should end this right here. What I wrote was never meant in the least way to be an attack on the guy himself--so, so far from it!!!!!!!!!! I was just listing it as a part of my emotional state and an example of how horribly stupid I can be when I like guys, as I'm sure you have witnessed. I'm so very, very sorry for anyone I've hurt in the past. If you think I would ever speak badly about a guy just because things didn't work out between us, please think again. There is no one I have an unkind word for--most especially the other guy that I think you may be referring to. You're right--he's awesome and I know that anything that's happened between us to make you all hate me has been entirely my fault. Unlike many people in our generation, I would never attack him verbally because I "wanted him and couldn't have him"--which is definitely not true!!! I consider that aspect of my life dead, and if you have a problem with ANYTHING, PLEASE talk to me personally. What has happened recently I believed to be for the best. I'm trying to follow God and I'm sorry when I screw up so badly. Please forgive me, don't be hurt and bitter, know that I never meant anything negative about that guy or any other, and move on. This whole drama session hasn't been glorifying to God and I'm sorry it was ever brought up.

Relient K--Which is to Bury; Us or the Hatchet?

I think you know what I'm getting at
I find it so upsetting that
the memories that you select you keep the bad but the good you just forget

and even though I'm angry I can still say
I know my heart will break the day
when you peel out and drive away
I can't believe this happened

And all this time I never thought
that all we had would be all for naught

No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
know I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far

Make your decision and don't you dare think twice
go with your instincts along with some bad advice
this didn't turn out the way I thought it would at all
you're blaming me but some of this is still your fault

I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I'm getting at
you said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that

and wisdom always chooses
these black eyes and these bruises
over the heartache that they say
never completely goes away
(I just can't believe this happened
and one day we'll see this come around)

what happened to us
i heard that it's me we should blame
what happened to us
why didn't you stop me from turning out this way
and know that I don't hate you
and know that I don't want to fight you
and know that I'll always love you
but right now I just don't...