I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away…
Darkness…that’s all I saw…it was dark and the only thing I could feel was scared. I hated feeling scared, that made me helpless and it let him get to me. I couldn’t let him get to me
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I wondered what happened and where I was, then looking up I saw the bars and everything came flooding back to me. The fighting, the hitting, Lindsey, Darla...everything came slamming back into me and causing me to close my eyes and cry softly till I heard a noise.
Turning I saw a girl, huddled up in the corner and trying to cover herself up as if she could be a chameleon and hide against the wall. "H-hey..." I swallowed hard, wincing as my throat pulled.
She jumped and I looked at her, wondering how long she'd been here and what was done to her. "I-it's..." It's not going to be ok. "You're ok, you're not alone..." I murmured, moving towards her and reaching out to touch her leg.
Her hand grabbed my wrist and I cried out, my eyes meeting wide and wild dark eyes. I swallowed hard when she jerked my arm to her, pressing her face to mine before looking around with shifty eyes.
I realized then that I was going to either die or end up like her.
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Quickly I pushed her away from me and huddled closer to the bars, closing my eyes I rocked back and forth. Back and forth. "And when she screamed she was never silent. And when she screamed she was never silent. And when she screamed she was never silent." I chanted the song under my breath over and over again because I remembered it so much better than anything else.
"Did you see the dark lady?" I instantly opened my eyes back up and looked at the chick sittin' next to me. She was nice, and pretty, pretty nice. "She's always here somewhere." I nodded at her before startin' to rock back and forth again. Always here around the corner and then the others came too. They were all ghosts cause they weren't real. Just in my head. Tried to scratch it out but it was still there. Make it go away, all the voices. They wanted me, wanted to eat me alive, swallow me whole. I wouldn't let them. I was strong. I was the slayer, a slayer, the bad slayer. All wrong.
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It made me wonder for a moment how bad my face looked from when Lindsey punched me.
Forgetting it I tried to think of a way to calm her down, maybe let her get close to me. "Dark lady?" I shook my head silently, moving towards her bit by bit. "No...I didn't...I didn't see a dark woman...I think it's just us..."
Licking my lips I sat back against the bars near her, within arms reach but not close enough for her to feel smothered. "I-I'm...I'm Tara..." I watched her and it was like her mind was somewhere else but I noticed her hand bleeding and I started to reach out for it beore I stopped. "C-can...can I look at your hand? Please." I murmured, holding my hands out for her if she trusted me.
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Slowly I inched my hand towards her. She grasped it gently and firmly in her own and began looking over the rope burns on my wrist. Didn't hurt, not nearly as much as the bite marks did. They hurt worst of all but I didn't mind bleeding a little bit. Long as she kept the bad one's away. Then it was okay. I was the slayer, I could bleed.
"Faith." I finally answered as she looked at me expectantly. Tara did. She wanted me to say my name and I did what she wanted so she shouldn't bite me. Shouldn't send the bad ones back in here to play with me. The bad one's hurt too much and I couldn't make them go away even when I screamed.
She finally let go of my hand and I dropped it back on my lap.
"Doesn't hurt. It'll heal, no time at all. I have superpowers." I explained to her off-handedly as I studied my hands in my lap.
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"Faith." I spoke softly, knowing the name sounded like one I'd heard before. It didn't click till she said she had super powers. "Oh...You're...You're a slayer." She turned and nodded quickly before turning back to watch her hand.
I leaned back and bit my lip, trying to figure out the best way to handle this, I was in no way capable of doing everything I most likely had to do. But I had to try, I couldn't just leave her like this and huddle myself in another corner
"Faith." I spoke softly and reached out to touch her arm, pausing till she looked at me. "It'll be ok, I w-won't...I won't let the lady come back...ok? I need you t-to try and s-st-stay calm and try to focus." I needed her to snap out of this, maybe think clearly for a while so we could find a way out.
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Ash to ash. Dust to dust. All comes back to taunt you, fucking tell you how you messed it all up. I remembered their faces, every single one of 'em. And now they all said the same thing, a chorus of yes's and no's that I couldn't dissect. I just had to listen, if I listened hard enough I'd know because they told secrets when they thought I was sleeping. Secrets about Angel.
"You can't stop her." I shook my head when she tried to soothe me. "No one can, she always comes back. They always come back, they're here right now but you can't see them." I rocked back and forth, slowly banging my forehead against the bars.
Suddenly her hands were on my shoulders, holding me steady and givin' me a hard look. Focus. Right. It was too soft to fight back, I didn't wanna hurt her. This was hell for her too. Maybe I could offer her to them. I was a killer, bad, wrong, all wrong and twisted.
"Tara." I finally said, swallowing hard and matching her gaze. "Get me outta here." I begged her quietly.
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My heart broke when she finally met my eyes and pleaded for me to get her out. I tentatively reached out and brushed her hair from her face, using my thumb to brush a smudge of blood from her cheek. "I'll stop her, I promise." I insisted quietly, pulling strength from somewhere I couldn't even place. "I promise w-we'll get out of this and we'll get away, ok?"
She just gave me a blank look and I bit my lip, holding my hand out - palm side up - I murmured a few words and watched as a tinkerbell light formed above my hand, just enough for her to see and notice. "See, I'll protect you."
I wasn't sure how I would but I would try, I was learning Lindsey's buttons or at least his main one: Darla. Maybe I could use that to some advantage.
Kneeling in front of Faith I held her hands and watched as she started murmuring to herself. I moved my hand and put it on the side of her head, keeping her from banging her head against the bars again. "C'mon Faith, stay with me. Focus." One of us had to be strong, I guess it was me.
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Stay with me. Focus. I could do that. I could focus because we were never gonna leave if I didn't focus. I was the slayer, I had to kill the vampire. I could kill the vampires, I could stake them, I just couldn't make the ghosts go away. She always brought them back with her, and now I wasn't sure who I was or what I'd ever been. Other than wrong. Very very wrong.
Swallowing hard again I nodded my head at her, one of my hands instantly stopping at the bite marks on my neck. I could focus, even though it hurt and she still sang to me. Her voice was lilting, singing nursery rhymes in my head and I couldn't make her go away. Maybe she wanted Tara, maybe she wanted the spark. I could give her Tara, I could just smash her head into the bars and give her to the dark lady. Could make her happy and then she'd stop making me burn.
"How do we get outta here?" I asked Tara in a frightening moment of clarity. "How did you get here?" I knew that the dark lady didn't bring her here. Someone who smelled different then her, but just as dead. I didn't look cause I was scared. Never look. Wicked stupid, I should've looked. I should know what was going to come for us next.
Suddenly the cellar door opened and slammed shut. With wide eyes I clung to Tara's arm. "She's coming!" I hissed at her, terrified.
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I just have to think clearly.
That was a task in it's self, I was tired and hungry and the loss of blood from when Lindsey bit me didn't do anything to help matters. I noticed Faith had a bite on her neck and I gently moved her hand awa, looking to see how deep it was and if it was still bleeding. Thankfully it wasn't and it looked like it was just healing over.
My eyes met Faith's when she spoke again. "I don't know h-how...yet. We will find one." I insisted, taking a deep and shaky breath. "How did I get here?" I repeated her question. "Another vampire, Lindsey." I ran my fingers through my hair before sighing. "I might be able...there's still hope."
I think.
The door slammed and I was more worried about Faith's reaction and her fingers digging painfully into my arm. I moved and pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her to cover her ears and hoping something would soothe her. "It's ok, I'm h-here..." I clenched my jaw and glared at the direction of the noise. I wasn't sure what I was going to do or how I was going to handle this but I wasn't going to let them hurt her any more, something inside me just wouldn't allow that to happen.
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Tara on the other hand, was off limits from now on. At least until she did that spell she was supposed to do. Darla was still working out the details on that one, but apparently the witch needed to be at full strength in order to do it. To take Angel's soul away. I was willing to do just about anything it took to stop that from happening. Of course I wasn't sure what it was exactly that I would do about it. Until then? There was always a tasty treat waiting in the basement. The sun had come up and there was nothing better to do as Darla and Dru were in the bath...together. Well, I was more then aware of what Darla had been her first time as human.
Stopping in front of the cage I smiled when I saw Tara with her arms wrapped around Faith who was wimpering like a little baby. A slight chuckle escaped my lips as I glowered down at the two of them.
"You've only been away from your girlfriend for a day and you're already moving on? Tara tsk tsk." I chided her gently, the charming smile still firmly glued onto my face.
I could smell blood and it was making me so hungry.
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Swallowing hard I let Faith play with my fingers, closing my eyes and trying to ignore as she played with the one that Lindsey broke last night. "W-what...what do you want?"
I watched him look at us with those eyes of his and I just looked him over and tried to figure out what he was going to do next. But if I knew anything about Lindsey so far is that I didn't know what he'd do next.
There was only one thing that I could figure out from his attitude was that he was annoyed, very. I wasn't sure by what. In the short time I've been...here with him, I've noticed that his entire body tenses up when he gets annoyed and something upstairs annoyed him.
Figuring it out was the tricky part.
Swallowing I looked at him. "W-what do you want? Please, just...let us go or...or leave..."
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I screamed when I felt the jolt, electricity pouring through me with the sharp click from the man on the other side of the bars. Had to make sure the slayer didnt' hurt him, had to shock me. Fallin' away from Tara I laid on the cold concrete floor.
"I already told you what I want, Tara." I heard the slow Southern drawl even though he tried to hide it. Pretending to be something he wasn't and I remembered that. Knew what it was like to pretend. So I didnt' cry when I heard the door to the cell open. Didn't cry even though I heard Tara tryin' to talk to him. Didn't cry when cold fingers clasped around my arm. "...from you. Now I'm a little curious what slayer blood tastes like. Don't worry, babe. I won't forget about you." He smirked at her before startin' to pull me towards him and I couldn't move. He hit me with electricity, synapses effecting and I forgot what I was supposed to be doin'.
No more fighting, now we sleep.
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With wide eyes I watched as he picked her up like she was a rag doll, his face shifting. No, I can't let him do that. "No, s-stop." I swallowed hard and my mind started to wonder what I was going to do and how I was going to stop him, I didn't know how. "Y-you can't...l-leave her...leave her alone Lindsey." C'mon Tara, where's your guts? I don't have any. "S-she's...she's already been bitten, she's too weak..."
Now I was sure I was talking insane, I didn't make any logical sense, but to me it did and maybe to him it would too. "Lindsey, p-please...I-I'll...leave her alone...F-forget about her..." Think, Tara, think. "I-I...I can give you...I can give you what you want..." My eyes went wide and I moved towards them, grabbing Faith hard and pulling her to me. "Not, blood. B-but...but I know what you do want..."
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"Give me what I want?" An amused smirk made it's way across my face as Tara pulled the slayer back down on her lap and cradled her protectively away from me. That was so...adorable, and it fed the urge to rip them both into pieces and bathe in their blood. Darla would have my hide for that, but how much did I care right now?
"Little girl, I highly doubt you can even grasp exactly what it is that I want. Are you offering to take her place?" I grinned sadistically down at her as she continued to hold onto the semi-conscious slayer. "As endearing as that is, I doubt witch blood tastes anything like slayer blood. So you might want to think about playing nice and giving your little friend up. She'll come back to play, dont' you worry."
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He looked down at me and I realized just how much bigger then me he was. Puling all my nerve together I crossed my arms and glared at him. "I'm not letting you bite from me again."
My eyes darted around the room and I looked everything over, trying to find some way out for Faith and I but Lindsey was standing in front of our only way out.
I stood between them and did my best to keep my stance. "I s-said..." I swallowed hard and willed my stutter to go away. "I said I would give you what you wanted, and I'm not t-talking about blood...I'm talking about magick..."
Yeah, I could tell him all at once what I was getting at but this was buying my time...I hoped.
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"Listen here, darlin'." I smirked at her, tightening my fingers around her throat. "You don't call the shots around here. You're just another lamb to slaughter, and the only reason you're even still alive is because my girl upstairs has big plans for you. But the truth is? I don't even like her plans. So I'd be mighty careful about how you sass me or else I'm liable to just snap your neck right now." Her pale eyes grew wide as saucers as she gasped and I knew I had her attention for at least now.
Smashing her backwards, her head hit the bars before she slumped to the ground. Still conscious but stunned. I wondered how many times I could slam her head into things before she got a little retarded. That might be a fun experiment. Darla would probably stake me, but it would be fun until then.
"And Faithy here? She means even less, the only reason she's even here is because she's important to someone Darla wants to hurt. I'm thinking it will hurt a whole lot more if Faith just shows up dead. So I'd keep that tongue in check if I were you, if you want to protect yourself and your friend you'll cooperate, although I have to admit. It might be more fun for me if you don't."
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