On A White Sandy Beach of Hawaii
The day was pristine and gorgeous, just like every other in Hawaii. The afternoon rains had held off, though clouds covered the sky enough so that his formal dress uniform wasn't miserable in the normally sweltering sun. The discomfort didn’t matter. Nothing felt right about today anyway, least of all burying an old friend.
Even though he expected the shots, had been here before many times before burying family and brothers, he still flinched with every burst of the twenty one gun salute. The details concerning the death, the situation with the Pak’s kept under wraps so that the service record would stand untarnished. It was the best gift he could give to the man in his memory
He knew he shouldn’t be here. His wounds were covered underneath the dark fabric, a yellowing along his jaw line was barely noticeable against tanned skin. He had no doubts Nick’s family knew his injuries were from the fight that cost Nick his life, but not who caused them. He wanted it that way. Nick would have wanted it that way. They ached, especially his arm. The last thing in this world Nick had managed to do was hurt him again, yet nothing would have kept him away from here. They'd seen too much together even trying to destroy each other couldn’t erase.
Two blonds stood alone by the casket, the woman weeping openly into the man's shoulder. A flick of the wrist's difference and that could have been a different pair standing near a similar casket, only Mary would have probably refused to come, cursing him for not living up to the ninja he was supposed to be. And Danny, Danny would have stood alone, or maybe with Grace as she sobbed into his side. He doubted Rachel would let her go as she treated Grace like one would a delicate vase, as if she were too fragile for life’s disappointments to be allowed to touch her.
Danny would have been standing there no matter what, maybe for once not wearing a tie to give in once to what Steve wanted the final time he could. Probably cursing him for making him bury another friend so soon after Meka, so soon after they finally admitted to each other what they really wanted and finally giving in.
The priest’s voice carried on the breeze, the wind rustling the palm leaves overhead. The waves crashed soothingly in the background, but still there was no comfort he could find here.
“He’s passed on Steve, he’s at peace.”
He turned to see Danny, in his uniform leaning against a palm tree behind him. He stepped forward, a hand coming to rest gently, reassuringly on Steve’s shoulder as they turned back toward the service that was drawing to a close.
“How can you be sure?” Steve’s voice was barely a whisper, yet Danny caught his words. “He didn’t even believe in God, despite what he said at the end. He didn’t even believe in his own country that he served. He told me once before I left to hunt Hesse that no one could live through what we’d seen, do what we’d done, and still believe there was anything that could forgive or redeem our sins.”
Danny’s hand rested comfortingly on Steve’s shoulder, and waited patiently as the priest stepped away for the family to draw closer. “If I told you that’s I’m certain, and that I just know it’s the truth, but can’t explain to you why, would you just believe me?”
Steve flinched as the first handful of dirt was thrown down onto the casket. A shudder ran bone deep through his body. That part had always gotten him for each funeral he’d attended. The first handful of dirt raining down finalized in a way nothing else could that this death was certain. There was no coming back. No more smiles. No more laughter. Just a tombstone that to be visited, and memories to haunt you. "I have to Danny. I have to believe that, or this is all too final."
Danny’s hand gripped tighter on his shoulder, rubbing slightly to loosen them as each member near the grave tossed down a little bit of dirt. The priest turned his head toward Steve questioningly, and he turned away feeling nothing but shame. Danny surprised him, stepping forward to grab a handful of dirt and gently toss it down onto the deep mahogany wood. He muttered something softy down to the coffin, then stepped back to grasp Steve’s hand as they stood together for the final prayer.
“Why did you come today?” Steve asked softly, Longboard in hand hours later on the beach behind his home. “You hated him Danny, and he hated you. Was jealous of you even when he no longer had a right to be.”
Danny chuckled softly. “If he’d have been there I probably wouldn’t have babe. Or maybe I would, just for him to be jealous one last time that I have you.” At Steve’s puzzled look he smiled, brushing a hand along the taller man’s cheek. “I know you. And you need to know you aren’t as alone as you think.”
Steve lips turned up in his first smile since the night of Nick’s death at his partner’s words. “I’m not alone at all here, am I Danno?”
The shorter man smiled up at him, pressing closer. “Not anymore.”
“Yeah?” Steve leaned down, a breath away from Danny’s lips. “Prove it.”
Danny grinned, pressing even closer. Steve sighed as their lips met, tension finally releasing for the first time that day as he leaned into the smaller man. Definitely not alone anymore.
"You know," Danny pulled away, slightly breathless. "I think you should prove just how much of a reason there is why he had to be jealous. After all, I'm still feeling a little insecure here."
"Really? I think I can fix that." Steve pulled him inside, and towards his bedroom. The house still was horrible, pulled apart with broken furniture and bullet holes in the wall but that could wait. Tomorrow would come soon enough.